(5) There is NO Mistaking the Voice of Jesus!
GOD-THE VIBRATION OF LOVE
After enduring and conquering two months of severe demonic attacks, I was so grateful to God for my relief! I was no longer taunted in waking or sleeping hours from that vile, evil vibration-my panic attacks disappeared and life went back to normal immediately. Days had passed and I lay in bed reading a portion of the Bible, peacefully drifting off to sleep.
That quickly ended as the most powerful vibration woke me up and wrapped me. The feeling was similar to "The lights" as a child though this vibration of energy was more powerful. It snatched me up and pulsated throughout my whole being. I was not in body and I was well aware of this. Astounding! I knew that everything I am, everything I think, everything I feel, everything that makes me 'ME' was there-my body did not matter. I was astounded by this vibration.
It is so very difficult to articulate in words or use any human expression of the power of this vibration. I knew, my soul knew, no hesitation, no wondering of what this vibration was. I was completely submissive and knew that this was God.
(Now if you know me in the physical form, you would agree that I am the furthest thing from submissive. You will never see my face next to that word in the dictionary. Ha!)
This was God. Amazing because I had been taught about God and I always seemed to have thought that it would be some guy with a white beard and white light. I don't know why but I suppose I thought that the Devil would show up with horns. Silly, now that I think of it.
The Power of Jesus
God was as if a power of a separate entity, this is so very difficult for me to articulate. He was a separate vibration from mine but somehow God's powerful vibration was pulsating through me and I realized that I was a part of God's vibration-little tiny me-compared to God-but I was! We were together--yet separate.
This pulsating, powerful vibration was filled with so much love, kindness, purity, peace, happiness, so much of everything so good! Beautiful things that I have never experienced living in this world of so much pain. It was just amazing! I am typing these words and I am crying because I want to feel that feeling back so badly!
I know that I will never receive that type of love here on this earth--NEVER, from no one, no man, not my children-no amount of love from any human being, as the love that I felt through that vibration from God. God made me feel so much love that I weep when I speak about this experience. What love God has for us all.
Through this intense, powerful, loving vibration, there was me, God, a different language and there was music! Yes music! Beautiful music that I have never heard here on Earth, not then and not even today, twenty years later.
I listen to all types of music, including classical, I often will go into the stores and listen to different music and still I can not find anything remotely similar to that beautiful music! Some day I will hear it again when God brings me home. I know this in my heart!
Through that vibration God was able to talk to me. He was talking a different language, one that I have never heard in my life nor since then. God was telling me things in this language, through this amazing vibration and I understood!
I kept saying, "Yes, yes, I understand. It's so simple! Why didn't I figure this out on my own?"
God specifically spoke to me on a specific subject and my response was in shock, because the knowledge that was shared was so simplistic that it amazed me! God was telling me something I needed to know and I acknowledged it.
Who is this King of Glory?
I woke up after God's visit and I sat up in bed and I cried from happiness! "God talked to me! God talked to me!" I kept saying out-loud! I was so excited that I told everyone I knew the next day-wanting to share this beautiful experience and guess what? Everyone of them thought I had gone mad.
Because I was shamed, thought to be crazy, just as I was emotionally abandoned as a child, I shut up. I stopped talking about my beautiful experience with God. I knew that I was not crazy but I cared more about what other people thought of me instead of what God was telling me. Sad but true.
More frustrating? When I awoke that morning, I could recall everything about God, the vibration, the language, the love, the music but no matter how hard I tried, I could not recall what was said to me though I remembered my response to it. How very frustrating is that? I was extremely frustrated by this!
I made a phone call to the woman who had helped me, guided me and taught me about prayer when I was being demonically assaulted. When I told her of my experience of God and that I could not remember what God was telling me specifically. Her response to me?
"Your soul knows and in time it will be revealed by God. It is not meant for your human brain to know at this time but be assured that your soul knows."
For twenty years after these happenings, these spiritual experiences made no sense to me whatsoever. I knew what had happened to me but I could never understand why. I often thought about how I could have such amazing, powerful experiences, God and the evil and still have no answers to why.
Every once and awhile when I gave thought to it throughout the years, I would think and think and then I would say to myself, "That lady didn't tell me the truth because God never revealed to me what he had told me." I actually felt sad about it. As crazy as it sounds, I knew the Lord had taken me to a beautiful place and told me something very, very important and so very good. I felt duped.
This Nazi is Alive in the United States
God's Words Never Come Back Void!
February 2009 God revealed what he spoke into my soul years ago. I have goose bumps on my body as I type these words. AMAZING and MIND BLOWING!
When I tell you that the flood gates opened that day and rushed over me-my soul-my brain-my very being heard Jesus loud and clear!
As I sat at my computer staring at a picture in the newspaper, Jesus exposed what my human brain was not allowed to know for all of those years. It was as if he rolled open a map of my life and gave me a quick glimpse of my life, my purpose for him. He was waiting for me to come to him. Face down and to submit. I needed to be so weak and so broken that I would call for him only. How powerful!
I was very busy looking to the left side of the map of my life. I was staring at my life path and all of the dark paths that I had stepped off on unknowingly which took me off my destined route. Oh my goodness! Amazing!
I was remorseful and shocked and in awe with what I was seeing and knowing. When I tell you that my pea brain could not assimilate this! I felt so full that I would burst! I was so shocked and amazing with what the Lord was showing me that I never looked to the right side of the map to see where I was headed.
That is okay because what the Lord has revealed to me has been so amazing, so beautiful, so unbelievable but true that it does not matter that I didn't see the 'ending' of my personal map because Jesus let me know that if I truly surrender myself to him and do His will and walk in the light with faith that the ending is the very best ending I could ever dream of.
GOD IS AMAZING
While reading my story--imagine it is you--and tell me that you would not skip-jump-run--dance-cry-clap-praise Jesus and God if this happened to you! I can only say that I need all of your compassion and understanding as you read through these chapters. What has happened to me is life changing-heart changing-soul changing and it is so important to me to walk in the 'light' and to stay away from the 'darkness.'
For those closest to me... especially those that I love very much...please understand that I am telling the truth and I am of sound mind. Please accept my truths and call upon Jesus. It is so important...the most important. You do not see what I see...if you did...you would call upon the Lord....yes....I know this....I pray often that God allow you to see also.
Twenty plus years later! oh my goodness! I sit here and type...crying out of pure happiness! These experiences that I am sharing with you are the things that I should have shared twenty years ago but I didn't, worried about what other people would think of me. I am somewhat disgusted with myself. I regret it now, on many levels but 'would of, should of could of...' I at least arrived.
Did God know that eventually I would arrive? Yes-I know that. So it took me twenty years? What is twenty years in God's time- he is eternal right? Maybe it was like two seconds in God's time-I am hoping it was. ;)
Do I know why God revealed himself to me now? Yes, I have a small idea of why. Will I give my testimony and tell you what my experiences of God are without fear and no worries of what disbelievers say and scoff at? You betcha! For anyone and everyone who reads this be assured that God does exist! How amazing and awesome is that? Love Jesus with all your heart because that is the most important part of life and anything else is secondary.
Things No Human Is Allowed to Tell?
Paul’s Vision and His Thorn in the Flesh
"This boasting will do no good, but I must go on. I will reluctantly tell about visions and revelations from the Lord. I was caught up to the third heaven fourteen years ago. Whether I was in my body or out of my body, I don’t know—only God knows. Yes, only God knows whether I was in my body or outside my body."
"But I do know that I was caught up to paradise and heard things so astounding that they cannot be expressed in words, things no human is allowed to tell."
A Heavenly Language
As I have been reading the Bible seeking desperate answers from the Lord in regards to my experiences, this scripture above stopped me in my tracks! As I read Paul's words my spirit jumped and quickened with happiness! The words of the Lord that he spoke to me! Yes! He spoke a different language of this world but I spoke the very same language in spirit and I did understand every word he spoke to me!
Could perhaps God's words that were spoken to me in this different language, these very words that I could not remember upon awakening be those 'words' that were not meant to be uttered down here and that is why I was not allowed to remember what was spoken to me? Things that no human is allowed to tell? In my whole heart, I deeply believe so. Amen! How beautiful!! I love you Jesus! This is crazy amazing!
All By Myself With The Truth of the Lord
Someone made a point to tell me that this was NOT the Lord and that this was Satan and Satan can pretend to be of light but what they don't understand is that I do know this. This was God! When in spirit, I was humbled and I knew that this was Jesus! I didn't even have to think about it and it was the most beautiful experience I have ever had in my life!
Degrees in theology...pfffffffffttt!!! This means nothing to the foolish words that you spew at me! You pretend to be 'anointed' and assume that you are called from God to speak out against me but I am speaking the truth. I know that you are far away from Jesus and only 'self anointed' and I am so disappointed again.
You are filled with delusions of your own mind, those of fear and a mixture of this strange spiritual arrogance. I do know the difference between Jesus and Satan. There is no mistaking our Shepard's voice. I am speaking the truth in purity and He knows it!
I am NOT a Demon!
"Jeremiah 23:26 How long will this continue in the hearts of these lying prophets, who prophesy the delusions of their own minds?"
I am not a demon. I am a good person with a very good heart for Jesus. You hurt me greatly by your lies and delusions. It is not Jesus telling you that I am under demonic influence! It is the darkness you are listening to! I should pray for you but you hurt me so deeply by saying these things to me that I struggle to pray for you. I am one of God's children seeking help and you turned me away by calling me a demon infested liar. How sad and hurtful.
This experience is the only time that I have ever felt such beauty-love-peace-happiness-joy! I felt everything so beautiful and I knew I was in spirit and yes, I did know that this was God, no mistake about it! Your spirit will KNOW who the Lord is and he is mighty and strong and filled with so much love, compassion, forgiveness and I am in awe of our God. What a mighty God we have!!!
Where Are You God? Have You Left Me?
I have been continually and sporadically assaulted by these evil forces, as well as my ex-roommate Twig. I have at times become overwhelmed with sadness and sorrowful feelings as if Jesus has left me because of these things.
I returned home from work to open my bedroom door and find that my room was filled with a rotted and burnt smell of ? After investigating and finding no logical reason--I rebuked the devil and within 5 minutes the smell was gone. The following day I made a sandwich and sat in my bedroom at my computer desk, placing a paper napkin and my sandwich on my lap. I had sat reading for a few minutes and then proceeded to look down to pick up my sandwich. I stared in shock. The top of my sandwich bread was saturated with BLOOD! It stunned me--out of nowhere--as it always does but within those seconds of shock and staring--a blood droplet fell onto the bread and boy did it startle me! I realized it was ME bleeding!
I jumped up and ran to the mirror. My bottom left lip--outside area was pouring blood from a clean, long razor slit that went from the crease of my left lip to the middle of my left outer lip! I held the napkin on my lip, as my fresh blood filled up the tissue. Eventually it did stop bleeding. As I drove to work a few hours later--before I jumped out of the car--I pulled down my car mirror and took a peek at the wound. There was none. NO mark--No slice--NO scab--no NOTHING! Why God? Why are you allowing them to do this to me?
As I opened the back door to step outside into the fresh air--my room mate was walking behind me. I had placed an un-lit ciggarette into my mouth and opened the door. Just as I went to step outside--I was punched in the mouth by an invisible fist--and then slapped in the chest with an open hand. The punch not only knocked my smoke out of my mouth--but fattened the inside of my lower lip and left a faint line from my teeth from the contusion and it tingled for about an hour. My room mate bent down and picked up my cigarette as I yelled outloud--"Something just punched me in the mouth and slapped my chest!" Why God? Why are you allowing this? Where are you God? Please help me to understand?
Why Have You Left Me?
I have felt saddened at times and constantly in prayer asking God if I have done something or I am doing something wrong due to these attacks against me? I had not received any answer--in fact, one evening I had felt as if God had left me completely, as I cried in my bed, calling out again to receive no answer.
"Lord, if I have done something or I am not following you or I need to repent something... please--PLEASE show me so that I can fix or repent this...because I don't know why you are allowing these things...why have you left me and why would you allow the demons to do these things to me...you know my heart is good and suffering...Why have you left me?"
I had fallen off to sleep on my back, with only the television on...hours had passed...as God's presence shook me side to side twice slowly...placing pressure on the front of my body...waking me up firmly but gently. I opened my eyes completely and I was in shock by this presence! WOW! I was staring at the ceiling--taking in the amazing knowing of a powerful presence when the Television Minister belted out these words....I lay still with my eyes open...staring at the ceiling and listening..knowing WHY you woke me up.
"You who are being assaulted and attacked by the devil, You who have a heavy burden placed upon your heart.....I have not left you or forgotten you!!! You have been set to the side for a reason. Stay strong in your faith because I am busy working on others."
I began to cry and thank the Lord for waking me up to hear this it gave me peace and happiness in my spirit. Thank you Jesus for not forgetting about me!
AUGUST 4, 2011
ENDLESS DEMONIC ATTACKS!
The Email from Twig below. He is still suffering occasional attacks from the demonic forces as well as myself. The devil is real people! The devil is no 'concept' but an actually entity, a force that is going to plow you down if you do not accept this as truth! You will not stand without Jesus Christ inside you!
I was doing some errands a bit ago and put my laundry in the machine. I was gonna go down the street about half a block to the smoke shop and get my smoke stuff and incense and crap. I was bebopping down the sidewalk and 'SOMETHING' pushed me from behind HARD! ...sent me flying forward..I barely had time to get an arm up or I would have blasted my face into the sidewalk! I jumped up cuz I thought that someone was attacking me from behind....wasn't no one there..naturally.
I rebuked it in the name of Jesus and looked at my hand and arm...how ripped up they were and rebuked it again...a lot more colorfully in the name of Jesus. The lady at the smoke shop seen me fall! she said "It looked like someone pushed you--the way you flew forward!"
Anyways...got my laundry done after that and as I was getting off the bus by my house....just as I was stepping off....I GOT SHOVED AGAIN! I fly out of the bus onto the street...like 5 feet away from the bus!...the driver slammed it in park and came out...he was like..."why did you jump off?" I told him that I had not jumped off the bus! My body is tore up and a mess!"
Why Are You Allowing These Demons to Continue to Attack Me over and over Jesus?
The Ignition of a Flame
Nazi's Hidden Among Us
Many of you who are reading this may be quite confused by this story. I had written this on the instructions of God for His own perfect will and His own perfect appointed time. It has been seven years that I have been waiting for God to fulfill what He told me that He would fulfill. God does not lie and He always is faithful. Seven years of a walk in this fire with only God to protect me and guide me.
I have numbered the stories by chapters. Start from the beginning and read chapter to chapter and do not skip around or you will miss what God is showing you. It will allow you an understanding, a basic foundation of me, my life, my spiritual experiences with God, the demons and the devil. I pray that God allows you to grasp the full profound spiritual meaning of my story and how this all happened and where it started! This is the first part of my testimony of the Living God, Jesus Christ. It started with a prayer to God and it was activated in the spiritual and manifested in the physical.
Due to many, many things involved in this story, Politics-corruption-Nazi's and of course ...good versus evil...you will see my series in many categories. I am not quite sure where to put them due to so many variants. I will scatter them as if they are leaves on a windy day-hoping that the very lucky will get a chance to view "History in the making" and above all..to witness God's justice...prophetic and a warning to all who have not called upon Jesus as Messiah.
May God bless you!