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Growing Up With Jesus
He was always there.
I only realized that today speaking with a friend who is going through so much with health and family problems just as I have. You know, things you just don’t even tell your friends, and certainly don’t get online and talk about.
She was my sister’s best friend but just kind of got adopted by the whole family. She would eat my meatless vegetable soup mom sometimes let me make and Moms cold biscuits left over from morning. Those which none of us would touch so she must have been saving them for this friend; her new daughter who loved them so much. Well I loved my soup but not those cold biscuits. The rest of us had so many biscuits we weren’t about to eat them cold. The microwave had never been even dreamed of yet I am sure.
When I learned of all this friend’s health and family problems I felt so awful. With all the complaining I had done to her and my aunt, Moms only surviving sister.
Really being here talking about the fun times in my life has been the best medicine I have had in years. I had to write and talk about the Alzheimer’s and bad treatment these people get, Mom being one of them is why I came to writing but they are so very hard to write and relive I never go back to look at them, but the fun ones remembering all the fun times and years of my life have brought me alive again. Without being rich or special I have some of the most wonderful memories.
I tried to tell this friend what I do when life gets so bad I just cannot pray; I do as Jesus says and say the Lord’s Prayer and tell God the Father this is what your Son told me to say and that You would hear, know my need and send my answer; and I remind Him that one thing I know is His Son is no liar and these are His words; I am merely sending back to merciful God the father, in Jesus’ holy name, Amen (so be it).
Now maybe God won’t work it out just like I think He should, but just handing it over trusting He has to do what His Son said He would, unloads the burden from me and I readily admit it is a fight and I know other Christians have an easier time with this than me and I wish I could be stronger, but so far I am still here and passing the burden does get easier the older I get. I am sure we all get at points in our life we do not have words and so I shared this with this friend in case she was at that point, feeling possibly she was.
Big prayers don’t bring answers any better or quicker. I do have to say though when I say the Lord’s Prayer I whisper it at least because of what God said about someone praying in their closet and I think this was meaning to not show off with your prayers in public making you look good instead of God, but somehow that told me it might be important to at least voice prayers to Him so I always did, well mostly anyway, even if no sound came as a child I told myself he could read my lips if nothing else.
At Peace With My Soul
I was saved when I was around eleven and I talked to Jesus all the time in my mind. Like many kids have pretend friends, Jesus was my private friend but I knew he was real. I talked to him about silly things at first of course because I was silly and young. Thinking and talking as a child. I never talked to him out loud, probably because I never had a minute alone without a brother (having four younger ones). He just lived within me and as I made plans for my life I shared them with him, everyone of them.
It was sort of like saying, Jesus, this is how I want it to be. I don’t want no bunch of kids like my mommy had. Because besides my brothers I got stuck with every relatives child that came to visit. I had been taking care of babies since I was five years old at least. I was just tired of it. I really only wanted two but since I had always wanted a sister near my age it would only be fair to have a brother for the boy my husband would want, if I had a sister for my girl.
Even with so many brothers I was lonesome a lot from a young age up until my teens anyway. Jesus was the only all the time friend I had. I was an in between child and changing to a woman I guess and I was really neither. I got mad at Mom sometimes because my sister always had so much freedom and I had so little but then I reminded myself, if it wasn’t Jesus reminding me, that I had all that magical time at the lake because of being sent my sister's chaperone.
Mom really had a lot to do, even with my help and she was a wife who did her husband’s bidding. She worked from daylight until dark and was always happy, how could that be? Really when I thought of marriage and kids I never had a husband enter my mind. But I knew you had to have one. I would sometimes ask Jesus to give me a sneak peek into my future. But he never would. I wanted to be rich and buy Mom just everything she ever wanted. I told Jesus about that too. Well I didn’t get to do that. Although I always bought her things to make her happy and keep her warm. I did give her a loving patient daughter to help her up in life as far as possible.
Do You Know Jesus?
Have you met Jesus and welcomed Him into your heart?
I have often wondered if it is really talking to Jesus if it isn’t said out loud. But then I thought of what the bible says... that thinking sin is the same as doing it. So surely Jesus would listen to good things thought and good plans, too. I know He helped me when I wanted so bad to beat up my brothers. When they were so mean to me and when I would tell Mom she would only laugh.
As I got older I probably didn’t tell Jesus so much anymore. I had friends and kind of just let Jesus go with me without thinking about Him so much. Life was full of fun and later life handed me some really tough problems but I never let Him go. I knew I could never make it without Him and I have figured out by now He knew without me telling Him. That in fact my plans meant nothing, what would be would be. But he would be there to help me through and indeed He was… so many times.
I cannot wait for spring coming soon when He will show me all His beauty He brought me to. Beauty I asked for when I was thirteen, the first time going through and seeing where I now live. It was a long wait. I am sure I was convinced at some point I would never get here; that He had not felt my heart beg to be here but now I have been here many years. Enjoying walks seeing all He has made that comes back every year. More beautiful than the year before.
When I take Him with me on that first beautiful spring walk I will thank Him again. I will ask for Him to please be with me to grow old too. To never let me forget no matter what happens. He will stay right where He is, inside my heart. To take me to what eye has not seen, nor ear heard. The place He has prepared for me. You see, He would never lie. My heart has always assured me of that.
Make Time for Jesus
Our days are numbered and don't we act as if it isn’t true?
What makes us rush about like there is no tomorrow?
In a hurry to live all the life we can, to get things done.
We only stop very briefly even in our times of sorrow.
In our hurry we must make sure nothing is forgotten.
Having this schedule to meet and quickly get it done.
Then if we hurry just a little more we can add some too,
Quickly now if we don’t hurry the day will soon be gone.
So we feel so breathless always on this fast paced run,
Believing there is not a minute to stop soon and breathe.
There is really no time to sit about as if all where done,
Let’s not forget to grab that long list to do before we leave.
While we are out; there are so very many stops to make,
So many things needed; we could never remember it all.
Then we jot it down and cling to the list to not forget,
Believing no way the many things to do we could recall.
With all this rush do we never stop to think about life?
How we rush right through and really miss almost all.
Too busy to know what life is really all about for us,
All leading to the eternity; for which each of us has a call.
Working hard to have all we can on earth never to enjoy.
Believing there’s no time except to strive for material things.
Somehow we compete to not let anyone outdo us for sure,
Believing life is all about cars, houses and golden rings.
Even our family it seems has no time to sit and talk of love,
Or kneel together; giving thanks to merely have each other.
Look at what life is really about for friends, family and God,
Who gave us these wonderful children, our father and mother.
Love for others is all we need for our great happiness.
Joy comes not from riches of material things we are told.
It comes from a desire of helping ones around us in need.
Our Father in heaven will reward us with streets of gold.
Scriptures say that Jesus has gone to our home, I do believe.
I believe as He said if it was not true He would have told us so.
He loves us, I feel that love and that is why I love Him so much .
Only our hearts can see this place; we who love Him, soon will go.