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How to be a wife

Updated on December 12, 2011

It's Not just about being a Bride!

I'm going to be a wife! Help!!!
I'm going to be a wife! Help!!!
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“Tell me all about how to be a wife.”

A cry, a request I have heard over the years from a number of women College students getting ready to be married. Although I don’t have any “magic” answers for these women it encourages me that they are seeking the way of God. However, when this same question was once again brought to me yesterday a complete thought began to illumine itself. I use the term a “complete thought” as in that very instant the fullness of the thought filled my mind.

Being a wife is the same as anything we attempt to do or to be….Jesus, get close to Jesus and all will be well and turn for the glory of God.''

Jesus is the ONLY way we can be a good friend, a good wife, sister, daughter, mother OR doctor, teacher, writer, artist… anything! Our relationship with Jesus affects everything about us…both inside and outside; who we are and what we do. Being a “wife” is not outside of this thought.

1. First guideline: be with Jesus and…let Jesus be with you.

2. Second guideline: be, wholly and completely without apology or compromise what/who Jesus made you to be.

Okay, these two questions birth yet another question: and understandably so….

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In the beginning He created
In the beginning He created
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Who did Jesus make me to be?

Ahhh…good question… Who am I? You, the reader, will possible laugh or chafe at what I believe is a strong part of the answer to that very question which has plagued mankind over the ages. If we, personally, get to know Jesus – stay intimately close to him –we will know who we are. We will also be enabled (empowered and encouraged) to walk with him in whatever is before us in life!

In other words, EVERYTHING we are and do stems from our creator. Listen to the disciple John as he shares:

Through Him (Jesus) ALL things were made; (ahem…that includes you and me )

Without Him NOTHING (no-thing, nothing, nada )

was made that has been made.”

This is a truly amazingly freeing – courage building -- thought/truth. This is one of those absolutes (which many like to claim doesn’t exist as it makes them uncomfortable yet doesn’t change the absolute!) that we can place our feet on confidently.

Do you want to know how special you are to your Creator? Psalm 139 tells us clearly. Our Creator eyes SAW your unformed body – He knit you together – with a unique blend of gifts and talents – THEN He created works (things for you to do with your unique blend of gifts and talents ). God prepared these works IN ADVANCE in anticipation of you! (See Ephesians 2:10).

It’s marvelous. How do you be a wife? God has ALREADY created; prepared the things you are uniquely created to do to be the matchless spouse to your unique intended! And God created – planned your spouse (exclusively ) to do them for. So, again, stay close – very close in fact…to Jesus.

I encourage you to listen as Jesus, himself, tells us – His sheep, children, brothers and sisters, - in John 15 to abide in Him. Jesus reveals this truth himself, that He is the true vine!

Remain (don’t go in and out but remain ) IN me (Jesus ) and (are you ready for this???) I (who? Jesus! Yes…Jesus Himself?) will remain in You!”

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In his own words the Son of God

– our Savior and Creator promised us…his own…that He WILL remain in us! HE is NOT going anywhere. Remember what Jesus said just before he went back to heaven to be with Father? Matthew recorded it for us…

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”


These were his very last words spoken to his own before God took him up. However long before this God, himself, promised us this….Moses recorded for us God’s words…Deuteronomy 31:6



Be strong and courageous.

DO NOT BE AFRAID

or terrified because of them (whatever and whoever “them” is in our life )

for the Lord your God goes with you. He (God ) will NEVER leave you nor forsake you!”

The Promise for Joshua and us!

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It was worth repeating!

But listen God doesn’t only say it once, He repeated himself. This is worth listening to. Just two verses later Moses passes on these words from God to us a… Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord Himself (what an assurance ) goes before you and will be with you; He will NEVER leave you or FORSAKE you. Do NOT be afraid; Do NOT be discouraged.”

Think on this for a while, camp here…whatever you do --- don’t leave this truth behind!

Check out God’s repeat to Joshua. Amazingly this promise wasn’t JUST for Moses! (Joshua 1:5 ). Also see the faith and assurance of King David in Psalm 27:10; as well as a co-psalmist in Psalm 94:14. God will NEVER reject His very own – His people – you and I -- and others who are truly called by His name.

Finally, if you need just one more assurance – go to the letter of Hebrews – a letter written to Jewish Christians in Rome – (it doesn’t matter where you are ). The writer exhorts in Hebrew 13:4-6 (Some very good marriage instruction here by the way ) solidifying all he says with these words,

“…be content…because God has said, NEVER will I leave you; NEVER will I forsake you.”

Oh my…just Selah here for a moment….revel in this…ground yourself in this… envelope yourself in this!


Remain in ME

So…let’s go back to John 15!

Now that we have many assurances that Jesus will indeed remain in us! (Oh yes He will!) That truth gives great encouragement to us to remain in Him. You are NOT doing this alone, even the remaining/abiding. What a relief…God has indeed left NOTHING to chance where His children are concerned.

With Jesus all things are do-able...

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