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How to Handle People Who Hate on You

Updated on April 8, 2017

Handling Haters to Be More Happy

At some point in your life, you have dealt with someone who either directly or indirectly opposes you. It happens to everyone, and we never know how to handle such people because we never get to the root of why all of a sudden someone would want to act as a direct hater to what you say or do. Before we get to how to deal with such people, let us first break down the types of haters you have, because not all opposition is hateful, some people might differ from you legitimately so and for idealogical evolution.

First, you have the direct hater

This is that one person you know, that does not have a fundamental argument with you, they merely differ with you just because it is you, more often you find them pointing out personal characteristics about you in public spaces, they rarely engage with you in private spaces but whenever there is a public dialog, they find ways of discrediting you from you past mistakes, your personal life anything that does not have to do with the fundamental argument. And never underestimate these people, when they have a fixed agenda against you, they pull every string available to bring you down.

Second is the indirect opposer

These are people that whenever you engage with them on any subject matter, they immediately look for loopholes, point them out to you yet seem as though they are on your side, now be careful as much as they can seem harmless, these are the most dangerous of character, they are the type that have known you all your life, or for a long time, and they have a grudge waiting to strike at any given moment, they are always interested in what you do, they always want to know your next move, and will even lend you a hand so as to somehow appear to you as supporters, then when you least expect it, with the perfect circumstances given that they know you and can publicly shame you. They pounce and become an unexpected opposition, without fundamentally looking into a subject matter.

Third, we have the insecure hater

While they only look at outshining you, and find that opposing what you say has many benefits to their social status, they always have ONE UP on you, if you have been to a restaurant in Kempton park, then they have been to two restaurants in Kempton park, if you have a bachelor's degree in accounting, then they have an honours degree in accounting, if you know about a subject and can quote sources then they can quote the bible, the Torah, the Quran, Wikipedia and so much more than you. In a matured state of life, I wouldn't say you should worry about these types of people. But never make the mistake of allowing anyone to drown your voice. Especially when you have a legitimate argument to present.

Now we know what type of people we are dealing with, we can construct remedies to handling first yourself then handling them, because the truth of the matter is no matter how hard you try to keep yourself separate from issues, eventually you do get involved and the one thing you should be able to control is yourself.

dealing with direct haters

The most important thing in any space is knowing what it is that you stand for, knowing what you put out there in detail is crucial to dealing with any form of opposition. Many opposers, however, play dirty and try to trick you into contradicting yourself, or throwing word bombs that would insult other people, what you must do is take the time to understand what they are saying, ensure that they break down what they are trying to say and most of all discover their intention. This is where all masters of communication nail it. They get to the core of a person's intention, knowing why they are saying what they are saying becomes an answer, and you no longer spend time responding to singular terms but hit the nail straight in the underlying matter, I tell you to know the key to response is silence, when you let them speak they reveal themselves, eventually they say that which they want to say and expose their ill intent.

To summarise in simple terms, let them do the talking.

Dealing with indirect haters

It can be tricky dealing with these ones, but then again the first tool is to let them explain themselves, never be afraid of an opposer doing the talking, this will not drown out your message but when you are engaging with them you find the root of their intentions, now the one thing to be weary about when dealing with these types is the fact that they have been gathering their ammunition for some time and can easily misdirect the conversation into other matters window dressed as concrete examples to arguments, many times you find that they have great examples and can quote you of the top of the head. What you must do is ensure you know the fundamentals of your argument, this way you can always ask how they are linking what they are saying to what your presenting, most of all you would need. to let the underlying intention of you presentation be known and anything that goes against this will have to be noted as an irrelevant matter and clearly so.

The insecure hater

Whether you like it or not, you will meet people with issues, but first, you have to be keen-eyed in identifying the type of person you are dealing with. First, try to understand if you have struck an insecurity with what you have said. Then begin the question session, ask the person where they are from, ask about their family structure, this will give you an indication of whether you have an insecure type in your hands. Please please be sensitive, as striking an insecurity can open a can of worms for some people and this will not be a calm situation. Simply assure them that they have nothing to be scared of and help them understand that your opinion or fact is merely that. Do not, however, take back what you said, but do try to respond to their insecurity in the most sensitive of ways, do not push your opinion on them, rather find out why their opinion is the way it is and respond to that.


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