ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Handle Negative People

Updated on September 19, 2018
Lydia domes profile image

Content creator, happy to talk and discuss issues that will see anyone and everyone become a better person

Dealing with negativity

At some point in your life, you have dealt with someone who either directly or indirectly opposes you. It happens to everyone, and we never know how to handle such people because we never get to the root of why all of a sudden someone would want to act as a direct hater to what you say or do. Before we get to how to deal with such people, let us first break down the types of haters you have, because not all opposition is hateful, some people might differ from you legitimately so and for ideological evolution.

First, you have the direct hater

This is that one person you know, that does not have a fundamental argument with you, they merely differ with you just because it is you, more often you find them pointing out personal characteristics about you in public spaces, they rarely engage with you in private spaces but whenever there is a public dialog, they find ways of discrediting you from your past mistakes, your personal life anything that does not have to do with the fundamental argument. And never underestimate these people, when they have a fixed agenda against you, they pull every string available to bring you down.

Tools for dealing with this type of negative person

Speak directly to the type of negativity that their showing you

Address their phychological disoder appropriatly

Ask them why do they feel the need to express negativity not just to you but in genenral

Second is the indirect opposer

These are people that whenever you engage with them on any subject matter, they immediately look for loopholes, point them out to you yet seem as though they are on your side, now be careful as much as they can seem harmless, these are the most dangerous of character, they are the type that have known you all your life, or for a long time, and they have a grudge waiting to strike at any given moment, they are always interested in what you do, they always want to know your next move, and will even lend you a hand so as to somehow appear to you as supporters, then when you least expect it, with the perfect circumstances given that they know you and can publicly shame you. They pounce and become an unexpected opposition, without fundamentally looking into a subject matter.

Tools for dealing with this type of person

Calm down, breath and have a conversation with yourself about what just happened, do not act immediately

Start analyzing their behavior, from the time you first met them and see if you can note down signs that could have been a clue that this person never really liked you

Then confront them with facts, be assertive as to avoid being emotional and keep a record of their responses

Third, we have the insecure hater

While they only look at outshining you, and find that opposing what you say has many benefits to their social status, they always have ONE UP on you, if you have been to a restaurant in Kempton park, then they have been to two restaurants in Kempton park, if you have a bachelor's degree in accounting, then they have an honors degree in accounting, if you know about a subject and can quote sources then they can quote the bible, the Torah, the Quran, Wikipedia and so much more than you. In a matured state of life, I wouldn't say you should worry about these types of people. But never make the mistake of allowing anyone to drown your voice. Especially when you have a legitimate argument to present.

Now we know what type of people we are dealing with, we can construct remedies to handling first yourself then handling them, because the truth of the matter is no matter how hard you try to keep yourself separate from issues, eventually you do get involved and the one thing you should be able to control is yourself.

Copying with all the negative energy

The most important thing in any space is knowing what it is that you stand for, knowing what you put out there in detail is crucial to dealing with any form of opposition. Many opposers, however, play dirty and try to trick you into contradicting yourself, or throwing word bombs that would insult other people, what you must do is take the time to understand what they are saying, ensure that they break down what they are trying to say and most of all discover their intention. This is where all masters of communication nail it. They get to the core of a person's intention, knowing why they are saying what they are saying becomes an answer, and you no longer spend time responding to singular terms but hit the nail straight in the underlying matter, I tell you to know the key to response is silence, when you let them speak they reveal themselves, eventually they say that which they want to say and expose their ill intent.

To summarise in simple terms, let them do the talking.

Dealing with indirect haters

It can be tricky dealing with these ones, but then again the first tool is to let them explain themselves, never be afraid of an opposer doing the talking, this will not drown out your message but when you are engaging with them you find the root of their intentions, now the one thing to be weary about when dealing with these types is the fact that they have been gathering their ammunition for some time and can easily misdirect the conversation into other matters window dressed as concrete examples to arguments, many times you find that they have great examples and can quote you of the top of the head. What you must do is ensure you know the fundamentals of your argument, this way you can always ask how they are linking what they are saying to what your presenting, most of all you would need. to let the underlying intention of you presentation be known and anything that goes against this will have to be noted as an irrelevant matter and clearly so.

The insecure hater

Whether you like it or not, you will meet people with issues, but first, you have to be keen-eyed in identifying the type of person you are dealing with. First, try to understand if you have struck an insecurity with what you have said. Then begin the question session, ask the person where they are from, ask about their family structure, this will give you an indication of whether you have an insecure type in your hands. Please please be sensitive, as striking an insecurity can open a can of worms for some people and this will not be a calm situation. Simply assure them that they have nothing to be scared of and help them understand that your opinion or fact is merely that. Do not, however, take back what you said, but do try to respond to their insecurity in the most sensitive of ways, do not push your opinion on them, rather find out why their opinion is the way it is and respond to that.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)