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What should I be to my beautiful wife?

Updated on February 1, 2013
This is my beautiful wife, April.  Love her and have been married to her for over 8 years.  I asked myself, "how could a beautiful woman marry someone who is not attractive?".  God bless this woman!
This is my beautiful wife, April. Love her and have been married to her for over 8 years. I asked myself, "how could a beautiful woman marry someone who is not attractive?". God bless this woman!

Being a husband wasn't easy. There were days where my wife won't say a word to me, and that would make me feel uneasy. I would ask her what I did wrong or please talk to me. Then eventually, she would come around and start communicating with me in short sentences. Sorry for all those days I have be jerk to you April! I love you very much!

Over the years, I have learned that being a husband is a blessing and it comes with responsibility as well. As i was reading the Bible about marriage, how husband should be, and how to be a father that God wants me to be, I have changed for the better, well, at least I hope I did.

There are some things I have learned over the years:

First thing I have learned as a husband is that before I can earn respect from my wife, I first must show my love to her. Now, I fell in love with her in 2003 of July 4th. I knew she's was mine! The way she smiled, or how she holds my arm while walking, or even just the way she laughed just brighten my day. Dating was awesome! We shared everything until we got married.

The day we got married, my attitude change as I was the owner of my lady. She must do this or that, or she's wrong and I am right. What happened to me? Why did i do to those things to a lady who loved me for who i am? What changed me? The first few years were difficult. I was arrogant and full of ego and it did honestly hurt our marriage and friendship. Our love have changed from "unconditional love" to "love with conditions".

Our marriage was falling apart and the stress level were high especially with kids. We barely spoke a sentence of love. Even though we know that we love each other, my ego was in the way of my ability to love my wife. My thoughts were always about "is she going to leave me?" because of who I was changing into. I became a man of legalism and without grace.

As i was taking a nice hot bath, I decided to take my New Testament Bible and flip it through. Even a person like me who is a Christian and a minister can have problems just like everyone else. Without nourishing my spirit with the Word of God, the more I became a man without wisdom and peace. Anyway, I was flipping through and went the page stopped at 1 Cor 13:4-7 which spoke about what Love is really about. God knew my heart. I cried like a baby! I apologized to God, myself and from that day on, I did the best I could to change my ways.

What does the Bible says about love?

1) Suffers long and is kind

2) Does not envy

3) Does not parade itself or puff up.

4) Does not behave rudely, seek its own, not provoked or think of anything evil

5) Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoice in the truth

6) Bears all things, Believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things


I was in denial for a few days then the Lord touched my heart and asked me how He loved me. The more I realized how much He loved me, the more I began to share my love for my wife unconditionally. My loved have changed and the marriage have became stronger than ever. Sure we have ups and downs but those verses have taught me how to be a husband full of Grace.

As a husband, I wanted her to be happy and full of Jesus. But if I am not full of Jesus, then it can influence her faith since I am the spiritual leader for my home. Whatever I do can affect my wife and children. That's why it's important that I stay in tune with God and pray daily with His Word.

Now i am married to my wife for 8 years. June 7th is our anniversary. I pray we are still married until we are old and ripe!

This is what I do:

Clean up the house for my wife.

Cook for the family.

Let my wife walk around in PJ and let her be comfortable in her own home!

I listen... very important for me to listen.

Let her speak her mind.

Cry when she's hurting, sick, or feeling the blues.

Hug her when she least expects it.

Let her have Girls' days out! Wives need to enjoy fun too , not just men.

Let her have the remote control! There's nothing wrong watch the same shows she wants to watch.

My money is her money. Just because I work or earn money doesn't mean she have no power of authority over the money. The Bible did said that man is to leaven the home and cleave to his wife. Man and woman becomes one. So therefore whatever I have is hers as well.

Always say " I LOVE YOU" and I loved it when she says it back.

I must remember that God gave me a woman to love, not to own. She's not a property that I can control, she's a person that I can love for the rest of my life.


I want the world to know that I am blessed to be your husband. I love you very much and sorry for all those things I have said, or done to you . I was a major JERK! :)



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    • profile image


      5 years ago

      I agree with everything you've said... and a marriage is always a work in progress, it's much more than a done deal or an accomplished goal...

    • Mekenzie profile image

      Susan Ream 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      roger, what a beautiful story of God's work in your life. It is all too easy for men to think like a hunter who pursues their game and once they catch it (their girl) and the paper is signed; they move on to the next thing and forget the treasure found in her.

      How thankful I am to God that He speaks to us and humbles us when we wander from truth and think too much of ourselves. Your description of reading I Corinthians and the way repentance washed over you was beautiful.

      As I read on I witnessed such a kind and humble heart which God has transformed within you. Only God can do this!

      Your wife is blessed as are you dear man


    • RogerSanchezJr profile imageAUTHOR

      Roger A Sanchez Jr 

      5 years ago from Sequoyah County of Oklahoma

      Amen, like there is a saying "A married couples who prays together, stays together, until it's time for them to go Home".

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      5 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      How beautiful. None of us is perfect and communication between husband and wife can sometimes be difficult, especially when misunderstandings arise. A wife often resorts to silence when she is mad about something, expecting the husband to know what it is, but it doesn't always work that way and he is simply baffled. Praying together can help - our Creator understands!


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