ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

I MADE MY POINT (Communicating with someone who disagrees with you)

Updated on March 29, 2016

Is this necessary?

Communicate with disagreement.

Recently, I read an article that made a point I have been mulling over in my mind for a long time. This article was about a completely different subject, but the point was made nonetheless. I will get to that later.

It doesn't take long these days, after you turn your device on (computer, phone, tablet, and TV), to see something being broadcast about protests, anger, yelling, screaming, and name-calling. This guy's a Socialist, that guy's a Racist, that woman's a Criminal, that other guy's an Adulterer... the list goes on.

It seems that we are not very different from the 1st Century Roman empire (watch some movies like "Gladiator", you'll see what I mean). The MOB controlled the mood of the city and nation. If you could manipulate the mob, you could manipulate society. And, if you were a member of the "mob", you were a mindless "drone" that could not think for yourself, you just embraced whatever the rest of the crowd was doing. (Umm, when I say "mob", I mean the huge crowd, NOT "The Godfather".).

So, if the mob was mad about something, I guess I'm mad too. If the mob screamed in support of someone, I guess I like them too. Kind of a meaningless existence if you ask me. But this is nothing new.

So, these days, in an era where everyone is screaming and demanding their "rights" to be respected, but at the cost of those that disagree with them NOT being allowed to have THEIR rights, where violence breaks out at non-violent events, Where baseless and shallow name-calling not based in fact is the norm, where college students whine like toddlers and cower in spineless "fear" because "my feewings a hurt because I saw a candidate's name written in chalk on my campus... make the bad man stop"... WHAT in the name of all that is decent are we supposed to do?

First, decide to disassociate yourself from the "mob". Walk away. Say to yourself, "God made me an individual, I refuse to have my identity defined buy what 1,000 people around me a screaming about." I will NOT act like the crowd, I will think for myself, I will (in my case, because I am a follower of Jesus) pray for God's wisdom to guide me, not the general consensus of the masses. I WILL STAND UP FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN, but not because the mob yells it. It's because I truly believe it. And I believe it, NOT because it emotionally grabbed me. I believe it because I actually did my homework on the matter and know WHY I believe what I believe.

OK... once I have done that, how do I communicate with a person who disagrees with me? Someone on the other "side of the aisle"? I will go back to my opening statement, about the point a writer made.

Our problem is this - we hear others, NOT to understand and think, but to react. We engage in debate and argument to WIN, not to accomplish anything. We want to walk away being RIGHT, having destroyed the other person or group, not walk away having made a friend or built a relationship. It's like a badly written sit-com of the 90s, where making a political statement is more important than entertaining the people. We want to be the one with the last word, "well you are just blah blah blah blah." Snap fingers, turn our back on the "opponent" and walk away, and the live studio audience laughs, cheers, applauds, and the show is cancelled at the end of the season. Our problem is we want to WIN. What's wrong with that?

Winning is good for sports. Winning is good for competitions. Winning was good for Charlie Sheen I guess. AND, winning is good for an honest debate. But WINNING should never be the goal if what we are trying to do is build relationships. Here is the point the other writer made, and what I am making now:

We need to stop starting debates and arguments among ourselves. I mean US, the regular people of our society. The goal in a debate and argument is the same - to WIN. You out-argue your opponent(s) and walk away the victor, fist in the air, pats on the back. And you have accomplished nothing. This is what the masses do, the "mobs" - they scream and yell, thinking their point is better than the other, and the other does the same, then punches are thrown and adults act like toddlers and embarrass us to the rest of the world. But you made your point, didn't you? Yes you did, and looked like an idiot in the process.

What we need to do is start conversations. The goal is different. The goal is yes, to be HEARD and listened to, but also to HEAR and LISTEN to someone else. These are done, not by the masses, but by the individual. When you accomplish this goal, you have been heard, you HAVE heard, and you and the other person BOTH walk away winning, because you have made a friend that you can and will come back to and talk again. You don't have to sacrifice your principles, morals, or standards one bit. But you have built something instead of torn something down - a relationship.

Leave the debates to the politicians. For the rest of us, let's have conversations. Let's stop being pansies, and be willing to hear someone that has an idea that makes us uncomfortable. Let's actually talk. Let's build a friendship based on respect. Because, those open doors stay open, and the conversation never ends. The "winning" is the friendship that is built, and there is plenty of that to go around.

Stand up for what you believe in. Never lose an ounce of that. For ME, that is my relationship with God through Jesus Christ. I will not give that up. I wasn't conned or talked into it, I surely cannot be argued out of it. But I am willing to have a conversation with an Atheist or agnostic or a person that just doesn't give a crap.

Step away from the mob, ignore the uncontrolled screaming of the masses and use the brain God gave you. And then let's get coffee and have a conversation, and both of us win.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)