I Trust God
"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right."
God May Always Be Right, But Is God Trustworthy?
It seems odd to me sometimes, but talking about God can make me very uncomfortable. Writing about God is the same way. I am really gung-ho for God, because I see myslf as someone within whom God dwells, but I still feel this discomfort I speak of. It may be because there are no absolute authorities on the subject of God here. And I know that I cannot go to one source outside myself to be sure of any answer I have received in prayer. I study God as much or more than anyone I know, but I keep seeing God only through how I limit myself. I keep seeing God with the same challenges that I have. More than any action I could take, I want to take the action of really letting go. I say I trust God, but could I really abandon all my concerns? Could I just commit to being in the present and taking care of anything that comes my way to the very best of my ability and let it go at that?
Trust, to me, is a very big issue throughout the world and it has taken me all of my life, so far, to have a fairly high level of trust. I look at my life, and a great life it is, and say to myself, "Do you have enough trust that you would make the ultimate promise of trust, which is to trust God?" The reason I am even hesitating is because although my life is magnificent, I have not allowed it to be perfect. So, given I see God through my perceived flaws, what it comes to is do I trust myself enough to really let go.
In the truest perspective I can conjure, I feel free when I am able to surrender to the presence of this moment and not try to be somewhere I am not or be with someone with whom I am not, in my mind. If I look at my surroundings and take a deep breath I can see that I am well taken care of and it allows me to let go for a while. The thing that is really holding me back is that I am aware of people all over the world who could not describe their surroundings and circumstances as being supportive to their overall well-being. I don't really know where to turn to get the answer to why some people in the world are in a space where nothing is wrong here and why others are in a space where war, violence, starvation, hatred and risk of loss of survival is their current reality, but I know this is where my uncertainty lies.
Many years ago before I started my meditation for the day I said a short prayer where I asked God for enlightenment and what I actually said is, "Whatever it is going to take for me to become enlightened, bring it on." I often think back on that when I look even a little way into the future, because sometimes, the things I see there make me think I may have taken on more than I can handle, but if I stay here in this present moment, everything is allright. Each and every one of us is facing some challenge or other, no matter what it looks like from the outside when others view us. And, some circumstances are obviously more challenging than others, but what can we turn to to deal with this test of our strength? Many who do not believe in God may be looking to their mind and their abilities to resolve difficult choices, but that is like watching a dog roll around in the dirt, to me. It is like I keep looking to the same perceptions which created the issue to find the answer to the issue. So, I have preferred to look to the highest influence I have within myself, I look to God within me and give thanks for this moment and then do what is before me because...
I Trust God.
Leonard Cohen singing Hallelujah
- Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah (original studio version)+Lyrics - YouTube
Hallelujah originally by Leonard Cohen "Now I've heard there was a secret chord That David played, and it pleased the Lord But you don't really care for musi...