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I love you God
Healing of my union with God
As a child my faith and belief in God was insurmountable to break. Raised in the Jewish religion, my need to become the female Moses counter part entered every vein within my body. I truly loved God. My childhood and adolescence was marked with challenges and a lot of emotional pain. If not for my faith in God, life would not have been worth living. This though would come to a sharp end at the age of nineteen, with the death of my brother. He and I were only 13 months exactly apart, and his death came by surprise, which caused a ripple effect of hating God. It was enough that God put me through crises throughout these 19 years, but to add this incident was beyond cruelty. My life took a drastic change as they buried my brother for me. Without my conscious understanding, I began to bury myself into a void of darkness. From nineteen through twenty-one, this void became a pit ending with myself being hit by a car as I walked across the street. Little did I know it was God’s hand lifting me up from my dark pit? Unfortunately, God would not be given credit for this until recently. I could not rely on God nor drop my grudge, so instead of God I thanked spirits and angels.
The year 1999 would also prove another year that God’s hand would steer my spiritual journey, without IT getting the credit. Yet, it made me paused to question my prejudice against God. A trip to Hawaii came as the same time a group of entities, Crystal Fairies, started to channel through me. This trip’s purpose was to teach me the Ho’oponopono by a Kahuna, shaman woman who lived in Hawaii. She dreamt that she needed to send me to Hawaii to learn this Hawaiian healing. Through this technique and some of the teachings from the Crystal Fairies, I realized there was a common ground. My link though to God would still be rejected.
I guess though it does not matter if we reject God, because He does not reject us. We can turn our back on God, but to no avail IT is still with us. Softly comforting us in times of pain, that even through our pain and hurt, we do not recognize the gentle steering of bringing us back to heal.
A couple days ago, I learned about writing a Journal to God through the Crystal Fairies. As I began to do this type of journaling, I noticed the pattern of a saying in Ho’oponopono; I am sorry. Please Forgive Me. I thank you. I love you. These elements became visible through my writings. After expressing my pain and happiness, I felt the I love you, God emerge through me, and I was able to seek forgiveness both to God and myself. I felt such great thanks in this release, that I love God. . This love became as natural as breathing. I now know there has been a healing between my conscious self toward the Creator. The closeness I had as a child is opening up again in my adult age. I do have more understanding that God is our Father who has no ego to condemn us and loves us even when we do not love ourselves or perhaps not God at that moment. I have felt this love as unconditional. I do now realize He never was punishing me, but always loving me.
I am after all God’s child as we all are.