ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

"I'm Glad You're Not Perfect"

Updated on January 14, 2013

Staggering Under the Burden of Perfectionism

I was having one of those moments. The house was a mess. Dinner was not coming together. I was making a mental list of all the things that should be done and they weren't done. Everywhere I looked I saw failure. Failure to vacuum crumbs and dog hair, failure to mop up the paw prints and spilled stuff, failure to wipe away hand prints, wash dishes and clear counter spaces. Failure to complete the laundry. Failure to keep nice tidy, organized cupboards and closets. Since I was recounting all my failures, why not add the extra burden of my failure to transform my home into something worthy of pintrest? I don't think there is one single corner of my home that could be photographed and posted. What about my failure to be the nurturing, organized, full of fun mother I desire to be? I was feeling like a huge flop and that made me grumpy, so I banged around a few dishes as I rummaged around my messy space and then I felt even worse because I don't like being 'grumpy mom' I like being 'kind, patient, cheerful mom'. I let out a huge, exasperated sigh and said to the only child within hearing distance, "Oh Erica, I'm so sorry I'm not a more perfect mom." Erica didn't even look up, she kept busily working away at her project, but she answered me with these wonderful words. "I'm so glad you're not perfect."

I stopped bustling and frittering with my mess and gave my full attention to this conversation. This sounded promising.

"Why are you glad I'm not perfect?"

She looked up and said, "If you were perfect, I would feel so bad because I can't be perfect."

Yep. I know exactly what she means. Is that not exactly why I was having my 'lack of perfection' melt down? I was trying to live up to my ideal. An ideal compiled from the best of every book, blog post and article I've ever read. Maybe there are some folks out there that actually live up to those standards, but I suspect that many more do not. Trying to be picture perfect is a terrible weight.

Give Up or Live Up?

I loved my daughter for her willingness to forgive me my imperfections. I felt so much lighter knowing that it is helpful to her to see me struggling and carrying on. She sees that you don't have to be perfect for life to carry on. She sees that I struggle with housecleaning, cooking, and in spiritual growth too, but I think that it gives her hope.

I'm not going to give up trying to be an organized housewife. It is nicer to live in a house that is cleaned up and lets face it, it is very pleasant to open your underwear drawer and find clean underwear. There are books, blogs and articles that give excellent advice and I will keep reading them but I hope that I can keep some perspective; I do not have to BE those people. I can try to live up to some of the standards, but I don't have to panic when I don't. It's OK to have our flop times. Everyone has days when the crumbs multiply in miraculous proportions and no amount of faith seems able to budge the mountain of laundry. In fact, I'm thinking that there are watching eyes around us that secretly breath a sigh of relief when they see our failures - it gives them the freedom to be less than picture perfect too.


How Our Failings Can Encourage Others

There is a story in the Bible that disappoints me, angers me and encourages me every time I read it. It is the story of David and his sin with Bathsheba. It disappoints me because David was such a good king and a godly man and I just don't understand how he could call Bathsheba to him, knowing that she was married and then to have her husband ordered to the front lines to be killed in order to cover up his sin. It is so upsetting.

However, this story brings such hope to my own heart. I know that sin is sin in God's eyes, and any sin is enough to separate us from his presence. Human nature however, tends to rank sin. Murder and adultery are two "biggies", while pride and gossip are "not quite so bad". So when I read of David's sin, his confession and God's forgiveness it gives me so much hope. If God did not abandon David after committing some "biggies", then I know that all my failings can be forgiven too. I too can approach God and ask for His grace and His forgiveness and I will not be turned away.

By having this story in scripture, with all it's disappointing detail, I find hope for my own soul. Even David was not perfect. He really blew it. However, he knew what to do in his failure and he confessed and he was not abandoned by God and I know that when I blow it - be it a 'big' sin or a 'small' sin, I can ask forgiveness, be forgiven and carry on.

Consider a scenario where 2 or 3 Christians are together, they are sharing prayer requests and they begin with a time of confession with the purpose of asking prayer for spiritual growth. Suppose the first person asks for prayer because they are really struggling with spending time daily in Bible reading and prayer. They admit that they are able to get up early 5 days a week, but there always seems to be 2 days that they just can't seem to make time. It is a legitimate request. However, after the first person admits to this 'failure' to have a 7 day a week quiet time, do you really think the next person is going to open up and admit to the 'big' struggle in their life? Are they going to feel comfortable asking for prayer for their struggle with their temper, or their struggle with keeping their marriage vow?

This is how I feel about the story of David and Bathsheba. It breaks my heart that it happened. It disappoints me that the author of such beautiful psalms, depicting such a heart for God, could fall so far and do such horrible things. But then, it also gives me courage to come out of my hiding places and be open and honest before God and others, and I think that it encourages others too. They see the real flesh and blood me, loving God, living for God, falling down, getting up, walking - even running for a bit - oops a stumble, that's OK, get up and go again. If I cover it all up and hide it under a glossy surface, who will ever know what it is really like? Will they feel the burden to keep up and wonder why they can't? Will they be released from a self-imposed burden, if I release myself from the self-imposed burden of perfectionism? Can we all stop pretending to be perfect and instead, could we just journey along together, helping each other up when we stumble, cheering each other along and being open and honest about our struggles?

Wouldn't it be more encouraging?


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 

      4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Thank you Beverly and I hope you will start writing again. More every day will see my tribute to you (I am not so popular it will be a quick thing, but I do have a following in a few places to share, lol) so hopefully you will soon have the audience you deserve!

    • beverlyfaye profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago

      Hi Jackie, Thank you for featuring me in your Hug-of-the-day article. I haven't been spending any time on hubpages lately so it was a treat to suddenly have comments on my writing. It inspired me to maybe get the creative juices flowing again. Thanks for the 'hug'. :-)

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 

      4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      You may wanna check my last hub...well here is a link...hope you are not disappointed.

    • beverlyfaye profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago

      Hello Jackie, I am still here. Let's talk.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 

      4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Hi, I'd like to talk to you if you are still around?

    • teacherjoe52 profile image


      5 years ago

      Good morning beverly.

      Our failures and how we handle them can be the greatest witness.

      God bless you.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)