ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Important Lesson Learned: A Bad Situation May Be A Blessing In Disguise

Updated on May 14, 2014

The Immediate Feeling of Disappointment

Everyone has experienced disappointment. When I was in 1st grade, I was the last girl picked for square dancing in a New York City public school in Flushing, NY. As I grew up, my mother made pants in odd colors such as lavender and pink while everyone else wore jeans in Los Angeles. As one grows older, it is the disappointment of not being admitted at a particular college or not being offered a job from a particular employer. Or, it is the disappointment of not finding a boyfriend, a wife/husband, a house, or a good school for children.

Experiences Have Taught Me The Theory About "Blessing In Disguise."

The phrase "blessing in disguise" is use when you are describing a bad situation that you had perceived when it occurred, when in actuality, the situation is a good thing. A similar statement would be: "When God closes a door, he opens a window"? Well, a positive thinker would not dwell on disappointment too long because either he or she has heard of "blessing in disguise" or experienced it. I have personally experienced blessing in disguise numerous times in my life. The first time was when I was offered admission to numerous prestigious colleges; yet, my father insisted that I go to Mount Holyoke College, a single sex college in Massachusetts. I knew nothing about this college since I did not visit a single college before filing my application. It was a difficult school, which I made more difficult by double majoring in philosophy and political science. It was not until I was much older that when I discussed my life story with my friends that I realized my father's choice of Mount Holyoke College was truly a blessing in disguise. Mount Holyoke College is the first women's college in the United States. Famous female figures such as Emily Dickinson graduated from MHC. The school was full of wonderful traditions, emphasizing building female leaders. Female students without hesitation raised their hands in class to participate. There were numerous extracurricular activities where you can dabble to your heart's content such as developing film, etc. I had great professors who wrote me stellar recommendations that resulted in my gaining a full tuition scholarship to law school. Most importantly, I learned to think for myself,and I emancipated from the grasp of my controlling father. Even though my brother went to a prestigious school, Wharton, I ended up with a better career path and more self-confidence.

Another time was in February 2010 when my husband lost his job. Immediately, everyone felt bad for me because it was a bad time to lose an income in any family. However, his parents, my mother, and I were cautiously optimistic. Why? He had been working for a controlling boss for the past 4 years who was unsympathetic to family crisis. The last crisis happened two months before my husband lost his job when I had a dizzy spell and wanted him to come pick me up, and my employer did not want me to be left alone since I have a history of medical problems. His boss refused, and I had to go to the hospital via an ambulance. Just yesterday, that same dizzy spell came back. Not only was he available to pick me up to go to urgent care, we saved a lot of unnecessary drama for my sake and my office's. As far as the loss of one income, he was so worry about my near death experience 5 years ago that he was blinded by the need for a second income and did not see how this boss was crushing his soul. He did everything to save his employer money, such as fixing her technology problems, fixing clogged toilets, picking up her children, etc. The more he was willing to assist with these ridiculous tasks of a hired help, the more he ended up hurting himself because she did not give him enough time to complete his business task. So, we were so happy that she forced him out because now he has more time to spend with the kids, complete what the general contractor failed to finish, and transition to a legal career since he is already a licensed lawyer. When we look back at the situation, the termination in February 2010 was a blessing in disguise.

In November 2009, a bank graciously denied our refinancing. We were so bummed. However, my mother-in-law said that we would have put ourselves in a very rigid financial situation for a mere 5% interest compared to the then existing 6% interest. She told us from her experience that it was better to make additional payment to the principal and keeping ourselves flexible in the existing loan. We felt the disappointment, and the thought that we were not creditworthy. In June 2011, we tried again. This time, with the interest rate being the lowest since Vietnam War (according to the assistant loan processor), we ended up with 3.25% interest and no closing cost. Between the last two refinancing applications, we learned all of the various theories on refinancing, such as whether to close with a higher interest rate without paying points versus paying the points for a slightly lower interest rate. We decided that the later is better in our situation because we do not plan to move from this residence. Again, the November 2009 denial on our refinancing application was a blessing in disguise. We would have been locked into a higher interest rate, and we would have been disappointed that the interest rate fell even greater almost two years later. (If you want to know more about the 2011 refinance experience, check out the article called How You Can Avoid Problems in Your Refinance or Mortgage Loan Process.)

Changing Poison Into Medicine

Although my mother-in-law is a devout Catholic, her optimism reminded me of an important Buddhist concept called "changing poison into medicine" in which you transform a bad situation into an opportunity for learning, reflection, courage, and compassion. The experience of suffering is transferred into an opportunity for deeper happiness when you achieve it. Or, a difficult situation in which we have "deluded impulses" gives one an opportunity for self-knowledge, an awareness of an infinite potential, or "Buddha nature." So, the next time you experience a difficult result such as unemployment or rejection letter from a particular college, it may be a blessing in disguise.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • formosangirl profile imageAUTHOR

      formosangirl 

      9 years ago from Los Angeles

      Thanks, Alocsin. Often when I look at my cat, I can see that she is just enjoying her life (unless we are teasing her when she is grooming). I could learn to be more like a cat.

    • alocsin profile image

      Aurelio Locsin 

      9 years ago from Orange County, CA

      A lot of the times, situations are entirely neutral. But we are the ones who turn it into something positive or negative. Voting this Up and Interesting.

    • formosangirl profile imageAUTHOR

      formosangirl 

      9 years ago from Los Angeles

      Preacherwolf2011, thanks for your thoughtful comment.

    • Preacherwolf2011 profile image

      Preacherwolf2011 

      9 years ago from Bloomington, Indiana

      Its so nice to see that more folks out there see the silver lining to a cloud.

    • formosangirl profile imageAUTHOR

      formosangirl 

      9 years ago from Los Angeles

      Ananth, I like the term "equilibrium." In Nichiren Daishonin's The Eight Winds, he stated that worthy persons deserve to be called so because they are not carried away by the eight winds: prosperity, decline, disgrace, honour, praise, censure, suffering and pleasure. They are neither elated by prosperity nor grieved by decline.

    • formosangirl profile imageAUTHOR

      formosangirl 

      9 years ago from Los Angeles

      Sis450, thanks for your insightful comment. As long as you have your health, everything else can be worked out, even for the better.

    • profile image

      ananth 

      9 years ago

      Equilibrium is a trait of highly evolved persons ( in the plane of consciousness). To endevour difficulties and joys as they were very assigned by God to you, makes it easier to live life.

    • sls450 profile image

      Stacy 

      9 years ago from USA

      I firmly believe that trails in life are set there to get us to change course to a better path in the end.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)