It's Like Fire, Shut Up In My Bones
I Tried To Straddle The Fence
For the vast majority of my years here on planet earth, I lived according to my own desires. I have spent far too many uncounted for hours chasing after the always elusive elements of pleasure. Even after reaching my teen years, and realizing that some things were missing in my life that parties, drugs, alcohol, or even women could give me, I persisted in going my way, and doing business as usual. I knew that the Holy Spirit of God was tugging on my heartstrings, and I could hear, at times, the very voice of God whispering in my ear in an effort to draw me closer to him. But I was having none of that.
The more I would feel the urging of God, the further I wanted to be from his presence. The more I would hear the voice of God in the ear of my spirit, the deeper I would plunge myself into vices and sin.
I was brought up in a Christian home, a home where both my parents loved and served the Lord. We were taught to read scripture and pray as small children, sitting at the feet of my parents. We would sing songs and hymns, giving God glory and praise, yet I was constantly feeling the pull of the world, and tried for many years to sort of " Straddle The Fence."
I did my very best to be obedient and pleasing to my parents, while keeping a secret hand in the things that were going on in the world.
Saved, Sanctified, and Washed In His Blood
God delivered me safely through the horrible times of economic depravity, segregation, and racial injustice during the fifties and sixties, the era of free love and sex, and the Nam war of the seventies, and the inhumanization and fall of generational morality brought on by the crack epidemic of the eighties. I began to look back over my life, realizing that many had not made it, many had been lost along the way.
I began to understand the call of God on my life, and decided that it was time for me to get back into relationship with Him. Now a grown man, with a wife and children, and never wanting for my sons to live the way I had, I went back to church.
It wasn't long before I had fallen in love with Jesus, and totally submitted to his word. God put his word in my heart, and wrote his word on the tablet of my heart. And even though I had been baptized early in life, I submitted to be baptized again n the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
I was Saved, Sanctified, and Washed in His Blood.
I Can't Hold My Peace
Jeremiah 20: 7-9, ( Student Life Application Bible)
O Lord, you persuaded me, and I allowed myself to be persuaded. You are stronger than I am, and you overpowered me. Now I am mocked by everyone in the city. Whenever I speak, the words come out in a violent outburst. " Violence and destruction!" I shout. So these messages from the Lord have made me a household joke. And I can't stop! If I say I'll never mention the Lord or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It's like a fire in my bones! I am weary of holding it in !
I found that I, like David, had come to a place in my relationship with God, that I love what God loves, and I hate what God hates. I began to understand better the " Seriousness of the Mission."
I began to understand why the scriptures speak so often, and so definitively against the false Prophets, who would deceive the Elect of God with enticing words, fables, and old wives tales. Jesus called them " Wolves in Sheep's clothing." Prophets who have studied and rehearsed the Letter, and have become skillful enough with an illusion of words to make you think a round peg will fit into a square hole, and yet remain void of understanding of the Spirit. Prophets who came with a word for the people of God, taking advantage of their every opportunity to stand on the proverbial "Soap-Box" for vain glory, to be seen of men, and heard for their much speaking, while God is saying, " I did not send them." Prophets who God says, " Bandage the wounds of my people as though they were not serious."
I struggled with closing the pages of my hubs, and backing away from the computer. For I would much rather that I myself be silenced, than to bring division within the body of Christ. I searched for a way that resolution could be reached without confrontation. But the word of God says, " The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force."
God has charged his shepherds today, with the same charge he gave to the Prophet Ezekiel, saying, Son of man, I have made you a watchman over the whole house of Israel. Therefore, listen to what I say, and warn them for me. Jesus said that anyone who enters the fold any other way than through the door, was only a thief and a robber. And the thief only comes but for to steal, kill, and destroy.
Truly, I love the people of God without exception. I do not write to be exalted, nor for money, nor to gain fame or notoriety, but that we may grow in the grace and knowledge of him together, and give praise to his Holy Name. But I must call em' like I sees em'. It is only the truth that makes us free. I tried, but I can't hold my peace.