ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

It's Time to Play, Are You Smarter Than a Heller?

Updated on July 28, 2010

Hal y'all doin? I's just wondrin what you people do for entertainment. Well, we's in the south like to attend church and chew tabacci while sittin on the porch with ma and smell the aroma of cow pastries. Heeee haaa!!

Aaahhh, let's cut the crap. I can't type or speak with a southern accent like Jeff Foxworthy. Funny I'd mention the commedian famous for telling redneck jokes. It really has nothing to do with our little game for the next couple of months. But the title somehow connects with this man. I don't know, something about a bunch of kids who know more than the grown ups invited to have their intelligence undermined. Was watching it one night when I had to go for some of my famous koolaid. See, they think some puppet speaking with an obnoxious falsetto voice is cute. Really, twas ridiculous. And they show these nitwits laughing. Not the kids though. I could tell they wanted to kill it. Well, good thing for remotes. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah. We are going to play a little game to see if the common man/women is smarter than some orthodox hell teaching heretic? As in, who's smarter than a spiritual fetus? Can I change the title now? Nawww. A heller is a real term. I think it's in the dictionairy. Go check. I'll give a few definitions below.

1. If you walk around with a self righteous mug, but warn others of hell with your face of smug?? ? ?. ..You might be a heller.

2. If you are happy to be headed to paradice while most are headed for paravice????. . . . . . . . . . . You might be a heller!!

3. If your salvation feels complete while family members are headed for eternal heat? ? ? ?. . . . . . . .You might be a heller.

4. If yooooouuuuuu think that a god of love, will roast humanity while you watch from above? ? ? ??. . . . . . . . . .You might be a heller.

5. If yooooooouuuuuuu,, like to tell stories of your maker's eternal lovin, but warn of his enemies being cast in the oven????. . . . . . .You might be a heller!!!

6. If yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuu, , think children should be forced to watch church plays depicting the lost screaming in fire while others dressed in cute little demon costumes stab them and pretend to rip them apart? ? ? . . . . . .You might be a heller!!!

7. If yoooooooooooouuuuuu, , think that we are ready for a church revival where sermons are in the likes of famous historical theologian Jonathan Edwards who had people puking from his hellatious eternal hell heresy? ? ?. . . . . . . . . .You might be a heller!!!

8. And finally, if you teach your own children that to fear God means to fear hell?????. . . . . . . .

Sorry, You are a heller!!

Anyhow, those are the definitions that I found somewhere for the term, Heller!!

So, let's get started with the game. I have invited three hellers that I have met here on hubpages to act as a panel for questions asked to "YOU". And I invite, Christians, Mozlems, atheists, egnostics, more hellers, ect. (just not scientologists. Too weird for me.) I will ask a question that hellers are well equiped to answer and you will get first shot. But first, let me introduce our hellers:

1. Carrie Cake Cutter

2. Get Bent

3. No Clue

Now, it's important to remember, that you have to answer before one of the panel tries. Please don't attack CCC CB or NC. If you happen to say something scriptural, they will deny it and call you a cult member who follows Ray Smith or something. Just get used to it. So, first question:

What does the following bible verse mean and what is the context?

Psalm 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell (sheol), and all the nations that forget God.

The rest will take place in the comments section.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • LoveSoftly profile image

      LoveSoftly 7 years ago

      He'll No!! I'm so glad you've been exonerated!! I knew you'd never murder anyone, not even a heller!!! Ha! The Real God would never allow such a thing! I think any of the characters here could have been guilty! BUT they're all too good, in their own eyes!! Once again, Hell No, you have risen above reproach in the face of church god and his followers!! Yaay!!

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Oh that's just terrible. I just became a fan again of Afro's Abortion after removing myself from his fan page. He kissed my butt so much that I owed it to him. And now that warrior of the Ray Smith cult Hell No is off the hook. I thought we had him for good. Please Afro's Abortion, I know you may be insane, but you are a good heller. Please continue to worship me like a godess. Oh, by the way, I just had Church Lady arrested for choking me.

    • profile image

      Afro's Abortion 7 years ago

      Bum, Bum, Bum, Bubu, bu Bum, Bum, Bum, Bumbubu, bu. . . .What? Hey, I don't care, so I did it!! He kept burning my frow. So I sent him a message and it ended up blowing him to pieces. And then my frow really got destroyed. Do you know what the football players did when they saw my shame? They gave me the biggest automic wedgie ever. That's when two people hold your legs while the rest pull your underware with the force of 10 men. Just Passing Gas was straight from the devil. He was sent to live amongst us hellers and bomb us daily like those suicide bombers over there. Except he wouldn't die. So I had to do it. god is on my side. I play the souzaphone and disect excrament. He he he!! Go ahead, take me away in a straight jacket. I don't care. I was sent by church god. AAAAAAAAAAaahhhhhhhhh!!

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Noooooo!!! I went through all of this and now you are going to throw out evidence? Who did this?!! Who killed Just Passing Gas?!!

    • profile image

      Dr. Hellspit 7 years ago

      My god, I've found prints on the remnants of the super cyber charge destroyer and it appears that Hell No had nothing to do with Just Passing Gas passing a mega butt explosion at all. And the prints are of . . . . .oh,I just can't say it. He is the most knowledgeble heller I've met and uses pure logic to describe why people refuse to choose da lord. So I will throw out the evidence.

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      AAahhhhaaaahhhhhaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaahhhhh!!

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Oh no you didn't Cake Cutter. Come here. I'm gonna choke you right through my computer. What I tell ya?!! What I tell ya?!!

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Church Lady, I wouldn't touch nothing that made contact with your fake old lady skin. You aren't even real. Shall I call you. . . ..church god?

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Ach-ly, I done got a cyber match off my compute screen. I be tryin to burn the crust from my old dead pimply skin. It do good and sooth my flatch hole. Maybe Cake Cutter should use it on her ancient photo we be seein on her hubs. Ha ha ha!!

    • profile image

      Dr. Hellspit 7 years ago

      I received my PHD at the University of church god in Heresy Investigation. I am hired to destroy those who lie about god and say that he will save all mankind. I seek to charge those who question old doctrines of the church which are necessarry to keep people from sinning away, as Afro's Ab. . . wait, I see remnants of super cyber charge destroyer. And I noticed that there is a match lost in cyber space. That's funny, because didn't Hell No send a cyber match to Just Passing Gas? I was sure that the explosian was caused by a cyber match, but this CCD has me wondering. Let me take a print.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Exucuse me, but I still find it hard to believe that a single cyber match blew up an entire building. I know that Just Passing Gas had some powerful flatch, but I think Dr. Hellspit should look into this a liitle furthur. By the way, who is this doctor? Who hired a heller to investigate an allegation against me?

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Yeah, I've been waiting for someone to post because I refuse to support Hell No and the Ray Smith Cult by answering this hub on my own. Hell No should be punished.

    • profile image

      Get Bent 7 years ago

      So, are we going to let Hell No off of the hook?

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Boy, you younguns can fan me any time you wants to and I be fannin you also. Weeeeeeeeeeewwwwhhhhh, I like me some youngins to fan my old bones on a hot day

    • profile image

      Afro's Abortion 7 years ago

      Say Hell No, I don't like you because you're not a heller. But could you sign up to be my fan and I'll sign up to be one of yours? The football players will think I'm cool if I have lots of fans. See, Carrie Cake Cutter stopped being my fan because I had a disagreement with her majesty.

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Well ya know what? My plumbin aint so good in my older years neither. But in the day I used to light me some good farts. No, not them old lady flatch like I gets nowadays. When I'us a youngon, I be blowin some good fire with my lower half. But I done pleased the lord with my butt flame. Cuz one time, my aunti done yelled, Little Church, Little Church!! (that was me by da way). Little Church, there be a snake outa here. Come do the work of the good lord. So I just had me a good bunch of bean dip. I grabbed me a match, ran out ta Aunti and saw this big ole ugly devil serpent. I yelled ta that slithry thing, the bible says you is the devil!! Get back ta hell where yo dominions stay at. So I done blew this hot flatch and lit it right over that devil's narrow face and sent it back to the abyse. Then my Aunti tell me ta get my ass ta church!!

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Oh, thanks Dr. Spit. Sorry you feel this is so damn funny. But now the government is pissed at me because you briefed them on the great biological weapon that I inadvertantly blew up. And I just received a bill for the destruction of his apartment, including the steal plumbing beneith the floor. Hope you're happy Doctor.

    • profile image

      Dr. HellSpit 7 years ago

      Oh, you want my technical annalysis? Well, generally when people light farts, the flatch wind blows a mist of flame that is pleasing to look at. However, Just Passing Gas was so potent, that as soon as he lit up, there was enough mist present to surround him with combusting fire in 1/8 of a second. Furthur, as with a backdraft, the flame is starving for either oxygen or more flatch. As the stank in the room had been consumed, the flame shot right up his stink hole to the source. That source is known as his Regenerating Fart Sack. In an instant, there was enough combusting heat to melt steal. Need I explain what then happened to Just Passing Gas? Well, turns out his eyes were blue. Yeah, one blew this way and the other blew that way. Ha, ha, ha.

    • profile image

      Dr. Hellspit 7 years ago

      Well Hell No, it appears that Just Passing Gas has what's called a super regenerating fart sack of which our nuclear technology has been trying to duplicate for years. Our Pentagon (and National Patrons of the Religious Right,NPRR) grieves over his loss as they were unaware of his potential to ignite the entire middle east with one fiber rich diet and Just Passing Gas. No, they feel it is unchristlike to blow up all of our enemies. . .just those who bash our religion.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Now that we've had a moment to ponder my being a murderer and all, I'm currious of how one match ignited one person's gassy exchange to the point of destroying an entire appartment, not to mention the farter himself. Doctor HS, please enlighten me of how my innocent joke became an evil crime straight from the devil.

    • LoveSoftly profile image

      LoveSoftly 7 years ago

      Geez, Hell NO! I leave for a few days and Now your offenses have stirred up real trouble!! You're in trouble now! You have stirred them up, Hell No...the hellers...you have made them angry!! No telling what will happen now!!! You have angered church god and ALL of his followers...if you feel you need to hide out for a few days...give me a call!!

    • profile image

      Afro's Abortion 7 years ago

      Bum, Bum, Bum, Bumbubu Bum, Bum, Bum Bumbubu Bumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumb. . .

      What?!!

      Stop bothering me Hell No. I'm practicing. The football players at the local highschool are sick of hearing the middle school special needs band members during the game. They say that if I don't get better on the sousaphone, they'll give me such a deep wedgie that it'll be like flossing my inner crack. What do you want?!!

      Oh, about your free will. I told you and church god even told you, you are responsible for all of the bad things that you do and can't make excuses for your evil actions. I think the only reason that you deny free will is that you want to sin away and still go to heaven. Now let me practice:

      Bumbum, bubumbum bumbumbum, bubububububu, bum, bum bum!!!

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Oh, you don't mean. . .?? No, we can't bother him now. He's practicing the sousaphone for his game Friday night. He says his special section in the band (that's the one that sucks) really sounds bad. Well, let me see if I can get his attention:

      Hey!!!

      HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeYYYY!!!

      Stop practicing, we need your oppinion on something!!

    • profile image

      Get Bent 7 years ago

      Let's ask what's his name. That heller for which I can't remember.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Well Carrie, first off, there is no damn hell so that settles that. Shut up Carrie. Isn't there someone else to ask here? Perhaps another heller?

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Hell No, you and the Ray Smith cult are at fault for Just Passing Gas blowing himself up. What makes you think that you will not go to eternal hell?

    • profile image

      Get Bent 7 years ago

      Do you not believe the word of church god Hell No? He said you have a free will and so you must pay eternal consequences.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Ah ha church god. So that's what free will is. You get what ever you want but people still have a free will. Uuuuuuummm?? Not getting that at all. So anyhow hellers, that pretty well gets me off the hook. church god wanted him dead any way and admittedly caused me to give him the match. However, I still did it and should still be held accountable. Gee, I was hoping to get out of this altogether. What do you hellers think?

    • profile image

      church god 7 years ago

      what!!? I needed Just Passing Gas to keep the fires of hell from going out. at this very moment, he is spraying his ghastly and gassy sent right into the hell fire so that it will never go out. That was my purpose for his life and that's why I made him blow up. . .Well, actually it was his free will that caused him to blow up as well as that of evil Hell No to pass him a cyber match. But you should all know, Just Passing Gas is happilly spraying his toxic scent all over hell to the misery of the lost.

    • Sanctus Vesania profile image

      Sanctus Vesania 7 years ago

      Man, why are the hellers so upset about the death of Just Passing Gas? Just think, he's in Heaven now, floating on his own cloud, strumming a heart, eating cotton candy clouds, and laughing at everyone who's burning in Hell.

      I swear your priorities are screwed up.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh????

    • profile image

      Doctor Hellspit 7 years ago

      Well let's see, I'm standing in what used to be his apartment and am looking at what used to be his computer screen. Apparantly, it had a special coating to protect it from the fierce stench of butt fire. However, it as well as Just Passing Gas are spread out in a couple thousand little ashes. Therefore, I can determine his absolute mortality and demise. I am supposed to examine the body and determine the cause of death, but I think when I reveil it, all of you can say duuuuuuuuugghhhh at once. Hell No, you got's some splainin to do.

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      But how do you know?

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Damnit!!

    • profile image

      Doctor Hellspit 7 years ago

      Nope, he's dead!!

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Really?? Maybe he's alive. That would be great. Oh, the guilt I was feeling. Boy, I hope he's alive.

    • profile image

      No Clue 7 years ago

      I think he's alive.

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Are we even sure that he's dead? We've been wrong before. Maybe he's alive, just embarrassed.

    • profile image

      Get Bent 7 years ago

      Are we forgetting that a person has been blown up because of Hell No and his deceitful lies? Don't you think we should be addressing that instead of all of this. Oh, I know Hell No has invented this person "Afro's Mistake" so that we will forget all about him murdering Just Passing Gas. Why don't we seek justice for our fallen heller instead of fall for Hell No and his inventive techniques to get off the murderers hook?

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Wrong Church Lady. There was no joke with the Carrie hub. I was exposing some great heresy and slander on her part. It was totally justified. This, is not even supposed to be taken seriously.

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Be careful Hell No. Cause we hellers is known ta complain to da hubpages adminsters over us bein made fun of. Member dem Carrie hubs? Didn't think I'uz watchin back then? I was. And now we gots a self admitedly hyp-crate not liken you messin which him. He alright with me cause he believe the hell teachin word of da lord. But you gonta have problems with this one. And Afro's Mistake need to visit my classroom when I sub-stutin so I can learn him proper grammar and punc-titchin.

    • afro's mistake profile image

      afro's mistake 7 years ago from dorothys kansas

      nice.

      great im the hypocryte(whoop de do i already admitted that.)

      but you're still the slanderer

      and i dont think any of those titles are good to hold

      dont you?

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      I'm not sure that I know what you're talking about. All of the characters in this dramatic play are necessarry. That would be like deleting the scenes from Naked Gun that have OJ Simpson. He's a big part of the commedy. What if presidents asked Saturday Night Live to stop satirizing them? This is satire. You should be flatured by someone making fun of you. I love being the butt of jokes. If you aren't mature enough to laugh at jokes aimed at you, then you are more than a hypocrate. Again, butch up!!

    • afro's mistake profile image

      afro's mistake 7 years ago from dorothys kansas

      ......

      hilarius

      but seriously your right to think im being a hypocryte(after alll laughing while you make fun of every one else and then getting offendid when things come to me}

      but honestly you know what im talking about so please just tell me if your gonna delete them or not

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      What AM? What are you talking about? These are all real people. I think. Have you been infiltrating this hub? Are you in fact pretending to be someone on here? That's not allowed on hubpages.

    • afro's mistake profile image

      afro's mistake 7 years ago from dorothys kansas

      ahh man .

      honestly hell no i was enjoyin it! why'd you have to add me in there?

      could you take it out please?

    • LoveSoftly profile image

      LoveSoftly 7 years ago

      OH MY!! I am totally speechless!! I have NEVER! I'm AGHAST!!! Seriously! Has the world gone insane, Hell NO or is it just YOU??? hehehehe!!

    • profile image

      Afro's Abortion 7 years ago

      Hell No, you made my frow get destroyed again and you killed a man. I'm not inviting you to my seventh grade slumber party. . . .And I'm so mad that I won't let you play my sousaphone. Or. .. . .or look at my micro biology experiment with human feces.

    • profile image

      No Clue 7 years ago

      Yeah!!!

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Hell No, you done made his butty flatch tern ta the biggest butt bomb in the history of stink!! You old age earthers and yo Big Bang Theory ain't got nothin on this quirk busting butty bomb.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      I. .. .I. . . . .I didn't do any. . .thing!! I.. .didn't mean to. It was just a joke. I wanted him to burn his. . . .butt or something. It wasn't my fault!!

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Wow Hell No. Is that what the Ray Smith cult teaches you to do? To deceive people with matches to ignite their gas? All murderers will have their place in the hell that burns with sulfer and that is the second torture.

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      I think Just Passin the Gas just blowed em self up. And you gave em the match Hell No. That makes you a murderer. The lord don't like no murderes. Hell be a place for muderin people like you Hell No.

    • profile image

      Get Bent 7 years ago

      I think you tottered, and now he's slaughtered.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Just Passing Gas??

      Just Passing Gas??

      Yoohoo!!??

      Where ya at Just Passing Gas?

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Bout time AA. Twas sick of yo big ol hair risin to da roof. Serves ya right.

      What??? What happened to that smelly Just Passin Gas??

    • profile image

      Afro's Abortion 7 years ago

      AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

      My Frow's on fire!! My Frow's on fire!!!

      Oh my god!! My Frow's on fire!!!

    • profile image

      Just Passing Gas 7 years ago

      Here it comes you Hell No and hellers. This one's for you Carrie.

      Waa WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa, , , ,

      FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffspspsppspspspspspspspp

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaspspspsppssppsspsp

      RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrspsppspspsTTTTTT!!!!

      Spirt Spirt.. . . .

      FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffspspspspspAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaapspspspspspspRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrsppspspspTTTTspspspspsp!!!!!!!

      (lighting the match) ch, ch, ch, cchhhhhhhhhhhhh.

      BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

      AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

      NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnngg!!!!!!!!!!

      Kaaaa Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmm!!!

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Tee hee!! This is going to be soooo funny.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Wait JPG. I have something to make your passage extra special. I'm going to pass a cyber match through to you. (He, he, he, he) This will make your gas super potent for all to smell. So here it is. Do your worst Just Passing Gas.

    • profile image

      Just Passing Gas 7 years ago

      I'm baaaaack!! No Clue has broken my chain of scrambled farts. I gonna lay into it this time. Here comes!!

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Good, cause you yongons and yo hair make me wanna send one my old lady flatch right at yo face. Sick a seein yo rooster and chia head hairdoos.

    • profile image

      Afro's Abortion 7 years ago

      Oh no No Clue!! I just got my fro fixed. Just Passing Gas will light it up again with his farting. I won't be able to go to marching band practice without my fro.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      No Clue!!! You idiot!! Your loud idiot laughing just busted the deconfiguration of Just Passing Gas!!! He's gonna get through once he finds out.

    • profile image

      No Clue 7 years ago

      Hell???arious??? I. . .. .don't . . . . .get??? Oh wait. . . . ..Oh . . .my god. . I get it. That is so funny!! Oh my god, that's he he, hellarious. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Oh my god that's so funny!! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

      I thought this was hellarious! Oh crap! I'm toast! :)

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Aha!! JPG can no longer lay his butt explosions on this hub. His fart messages are scrambled.

    • profile image

      Just Passing Gas 7 years ago

      I . .. ...@ $$ # sho 99&&&&& . . . . . .So??? sm..l this

      F......s ..@@@sps. . .A. . . . Spss@@### RR sp. ..T

      Fart.

    • profile image

      No Clue 7 years ago

      My sister Carrie Cake Cutter. Once again your words are spirit filled. Hell is real. And uuuummmm. . . . ..????real hot!!

      Yeah!!

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      I did a word study using my appendix of the Bendix of bible stupindix and found that purple is not a color at all. The rich man was not decked in purple attire. The purple represents the pain of burning in fire. See, at first, the fire will turn the hell prisoner red, then blue, then purple. And doesn't this story fit perfectly with what near death experience people say about hell? Because, it's in the middle of the Earth where there is really hot magma and no water for the rich man to drink. And that 23 minutes guy talks about chasms between chambers of hell. Well, that's why the rich man speaks of the chasm between him and Lazurus. And my exaustive concordance of the Beller of Heller dictionary says that chasm actually means place of more fire. Not a water way like Hell No and the Ray Smith cult teach. Therefore, the rich man was in hell and Lazurus was in heaven with Abraham.

    • profile image

      Get Bent 7 years ago

      Sanctus Vasania has no I idea of what she is talking about. What do capitalism and communism have to do with one Jew going to hell? It was a real person. jesus said so. He wasn't just a man, he was a rich man. And Lazurus was actually named. It talks about fire and being real hot and how he didn't pay tithes and stuff. He was rich and only gave Lazurus scraps from his plate. Treated him like a dog.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Church Lady!! Calm!! Down!! Let's get back to the question. Personally, I did a hub on that parable:

      https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Rich-Man-...

      But now let's here what the hellers have to say.

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Yeah Carrie CC. You just so pretty with yo white teeth and young looking features. Only problem is that picture so old, people had ta colorise it. That pi-ture so old dat we was studyin it in my junior high photography class. Today yo buzzard chewed face got more veins din Stallone's old steroid induced biceps. And da only white in yo mouth is dem plastic dentures borrowed from some halloween party.

      Come on Cake Cutter!! Put em up!! I'll knock them pimples off yo old face!! You'll think I's yo long lost sister when I knocks the white off ya.

    • Sanctus Vesania profile image

      Sanctus Vesania 7 years ago

      Obviously the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus is a look into the relationship of Capitalist America, and the Communist countries.

      What? It totally makes sense!

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Afro's Mistake? Is that you? Wow, I feel stupid. I thought you were that. . . . . . .other guy. Anyway, this is such an evil place, but we have the support of other hellers such as Get Bent, No Clue, and ???? Well Church Lady and church god are the same person. I think they belong to the Ray Smith cult.

      And then Church Lady just threatens me, but god is so full of love that he'll send all of these fakes to hell so that I won't have to be around them in paradice. I am just too beautiful to spend eternity with them.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Well AM, being offended is the first step to developing a sense of humor. Looks like you may be crossing that line.

    • afro's mistake profile image

      afro's mistake 7 years ago from dorothys kansas

      lol i dont know whether to be highly offendid or just laugh. this is so hilarius!!! though obviously you are attacking my beliefs and some of my friends i have to admit that this is clever.

      is there something wrong here? idk...

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Well bible students and gaukers, I think we are ready to tackle our next question. But first, you'll be happy to know that I've figured out how to keep Just Passing Gas off of this hub. .. . .I think so. He may slip through, but his words will be broken and will not make a lot of sense. Let's hope he gets our message. Anyhow, here's the next question:

      What does the Rich Man and Lazarus parable refer to and can any or all of it be taken literally?

    • profile image

      Emmy 7 years ago

      My screen exploded, you see. I spent the next few days with a terrible stench in my house that the whole block could smell and a face full of irremovable soot.

      But that's not all. Life must go on, right? Well this month happens to be the hungry ghost month (the chinese believe the spirits are released from hell temporarily for a month, which includes me if I died) so they tried to arrest me for tapping someone on the shoulder. I think they thought I was gonna suck his soul or summin'. Maybe I was?

      In other words, I might be dead, but I can't really tell.

      dammit, Just Passing Gas, my life just got more complicated

    • profile image

      Get Bent 7 years ago

      Sir!! I have a Dent in my forehead from your evil flatch. Your gas is not in the spirit of us hellers and is leading many to the Slaughter. So don't Totter.

    • profile image

      No Clue 7 years ago

      Yeah!!!

      Nobody smells that bad.

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Boy, yo devil's behind done ruined my fried chicken dinner. One whif at the computer screen and I blew the entire load right on to my grandchildren. They ain't gonta visit no more. Hell, stank so bad my dentures done started hurtin. And I ain't sposed to feel my dentures. I don't think da lord can toss you to the fires of hell. That would be cruel and unusual to da other inhabitants. You even stank to much for hell.

    • profile image

      Emmy 7 years ago

      AHHHH MAKE IT STOP!! MAKE IT STOP!!!

      I think I just died. Did I die?

    • profile image

      Just Passing Gas 7 years ago

      Yohoo, did somebody call?

      FFFFFFFFFspspspsppspspAAAAAAAAAAspspspspspspspRRRRRRRRRRRspspspspspsTTTTTTTTspspspspsp!!!

      Spirt.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Uuuuuuuuuuummmm?? Calm down Church Lady. I think Emmy was refering to Just Passing Gas.

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Snif, snif Enemy. I don't smell nothin. And I don't wear no depends so don't be blamin me.

    • profile image

      Emmy 7 years ago

      Wut the hell is zat smell?

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      CHURCH LADY!!!!

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      Oh now don't you worry yo self Hell No. I aint gonta get mad this time. See, I gots class. I's gonta go out to one them fansy re-sonts and be dressed all nice. Yep Carrie, got my pumps on. Better to break my foot off in yo A. .... .. !!!

    • profile image

      Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Who is this Carrie? I am Carrie. I cut cake with my wide trap. This Carrie you speak of is not the same as I. I think Just Passing Gas, church god, and Church Lady are all the same person and are members of the evil Ray Smith universalist cult.

    • profile image

      Just Passing Gas 7 years ago

      Hey Carrie, eerr, I mean Judah's Daughter. Give me release!!

      FFFFFFFpspspspspspspAAAAAAAAAAspspspspspspsspRRRRRRRrspspspspspspspspspTTTTTTTspspspspspspspsp!!!

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      I warned you JPG. I said do not remind us again about how JD deleted your post once she figured out who you were. And what do you mean she set me right? Oh who cares. You, are outa here. If only I can get this stupid delete feature to work. Damnit!! Well, I'll figure it out. And when I do, you will have passed gas for the last!!

    • profile image

      Just Passing Gas 7 years ago

      Waaaaaaaaaaa!!! You people are messing around and forgot about my problem. I want Judah's Daughter to allow my posts. She deleted mine. This was my last one to her and she deleted it.

      https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/The-Locat

      Just Passing Gas says:

      38 minutes ago

      Carrie, it is great to have such a warrior of the truth such as yourself to follow. For years I looked at the scriptures and felt they taught a different gospel in my oppinion, than all of the churches. Now that I have read your stuff, I find that I really don't have to be saved with all of those criminals. I'm glad that most will not get to share in the glory of god with us. That would be such a burdon.

      Judah's Daughter says:

      24 minutes ago

      Gene, When we have the HOLY Spirit of God within, we understand that God HATES sin. Sinners cannot be purified by good works, religion, or the lake of fire. If that were the case, Jesus would not have had to come (God HIMSELF) to DIE on that cross!! It is truly by faith in His righteousness alone we are saved!!! This is the GOOD NEWS!!

      Your last statement aligns with the cries heard by the saints in Revelation 6:9-11 "How long, O Lord, holy and true, will You refrain from judging and avenging our blood on those who dwell on the earth?" Praise God, He is victorious! Oppression will cease!!! Hallelujiah to the Lamb!

      And then she called me Gene. WWWWWWwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!! Please Judah's Daughter, I worship you like god. You have set that evil Hell No right.

    • the pink umbrella profile image

      the pink umbrella 7 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      lol....but distraction is my specialty!!!

      church lady- bring on the heat, like i said, i like it hot!!!! :) lol

    • LoveSoftly profile image

      LoveSoftly 7 years ago

      Hell No, this is all very entertaining...but I am watching to see if anything develops between you and the pink umbrella...I'm thinking you need some one on one with such a lady..you know just to keep you on your toes! hehehehe! You guys are all so funny, really..I'm enjoying all this bickering! Pink..You keep flirting with Hell No..but don't distract him from his mission! ;) ha!

    • profile image

      Afro's Abortion 7 years ago

      Why don't you shut your dang mouth Hell No? You are leading people to hell and I am not in seventh grade any more. Well I am, it's just my special needs class has designated me as a work in progress towards my AA in micro-biology. Most laugh at me and say there's no such thing as and associates in micro biology because I wouldn't yet be specialising in anything. But I am because I dissected one of my own turds. And you Hell No, can't post on my hubs your insulting universalist trash. You may only post if you agree with one of my points.

    • profile image
      Author

      Hell N0 7 years ago

      Oh come now hellers. Ya'll need to get along. Why not ask Afro's Abortion to intervene? He is well suited to show why hellers are all going to heaven because ya'll aint taking no chances. He has mastered Pasquel's Wager and is sure that this is the safest bet to please god.

    • profile image

      Church Lady 7 years ago

      I done warned ya Cake Cutter. And the only lie is that 20 year old photo of yo self that you was pasting next ta yo title. Believe me, you gonta make me use my blow torch on you stead a dem atheistics n universitals.

      One mo word outa ya and I'll slap you so hard dat when you wake up you'll think I's the mama of sweet jesus.

    • profile image

      Carrie Pie ho. . . .I mean Carrie Cake Cutter 7 years ago

      Don't you people see that Church Lady is just pretending to be a real person? She is the same as church god. And lyers will not inherit the kingdom of god.