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Joint Family System and Islam

Updated on December 18, 2011

Joint Family system is practiced on a very large scale especially in the subcontinent. It takes its roots from Hindu society. So this article specifically addresses those societies which take joint family system in the sense of good manners or social norm. Joint family system is a common practice in various countries and it implies that all members of a clan: father, son, brother, sister, uncle, nephew etc., live together. The income of the individual is not treated as his personal property, rather it belongs to the family and the expenses of all members are met by that `family income. On the contrary nuclear family system is separate family system having husband wife and their offspring.

This article discusses three parts: Shari'ah perspective about joint family system, reasons that promote joint family system, confusions about the issue and lastly, off course, some suggestions.

Actually the Holy Qur'an was revealed to the Prophet (sws) who lived in a society where joint family system was not in vogue. So unlike several other issues, on the issue of joint family system there was no any distinct or sharp revolutionize and perhaps that make the people take this subject calmly. But despite lack of this feature, Holy Quran and Holy Sunna sufficiently describe this concern. The Shari'ah describes considers the duties of the wife towards her husband. It relates the wife with her husband and not his family. All the rights of the in-laws draw from the rights of the husband. One is thus obliged to respect her mother in law more than common elderly women because she is the mother of her husband who owes greatly to his mother. This however does not mean that legally the wife is obliged to serve the whole family and sacrifice her comforts, liberty and privacy. One thing needs first to be acknowledged that I failed to find any explicit command with purpose to demonstrate joint family system as ‘Haram’ in Islam. Yes it is indecent, inappropriate and opposing to the Holy Sunnah. I think this is enough for a Muslim who wants to lead his life consistent with the replica presented by Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H). The question that how we came to know that joint family system is indecent and inappropriate has its answer here in following:

Firstly this question is answered by the following text from the Holy Quran: There is no blame upon . . . yourselves that ye eat ( without asking permission) in your own houses or the houses of your fathers, or houses of your mothers, or the houses of your brothers, or the houses of your sisters, or the houses of your fathers' brothers, or the houses of your fathers' sisters, or the houses of your mothers' brothers or the houses of your mothers' sisters, or in houses of which the keys are in your possession, or in the house of a friend of yours . . . (Qur'an, 24: 61)

Here, Quran states that it’s allowed to eat at houses of your fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts etc. This is clear indication that man, after marriage, in normal circumstances live separately from their father, mother, brother and sisters. The verse (أَن تَأْكُلُوا مِن بُيُوتِكُمْ) means that they have separate house, and when you enter their house (فَإِذَا دَخَلْتُم بُيُوتًا فَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى أَنفُسِكُمْ) give them greeting of peace, like we say assalamu alaikum.

In Islam, a family can take the following two shapes: a couple and their children, or a couple, their parents and their children. This definition is based on the law which defines the persons whose maintenance is your obligation: your wife, your parents, and your children. These people are your dependents, it is obligatory upon you to provide for them. It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that he heard the Messenger of Allah (P.B.U.H) say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” [Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih al-Muslim]

Separate family system has been practiced by the Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H), his Ahlu 'l-bayt (household) and his companions. We can see numerous examples in their lives which prove that they had lived separately from their extended family-members.

There was a famine in Mecca. Abu Talib, the Prophet's uncle, had many children and his means of livelihood were limited at that time. The Holy Prophet, who himself had been raised by Abu Talib, felt that his uncle was facing financial difficulties. He, therefore, suggested to his other uncle `Abbas (who was wealthy at that time) to help Abu Talib. `Abbas went with the Prophet to Abu Talib. After some discussion, they decided to share the expenses of Abu Talib's sons: ‘Ali should live with the Prophet, Ja`far with `Abbas, and `Aqil was to remain with Abu Talib. This shows that the house of the Prophet was separate from that of Abu Talib. This was so, in spite of the close relationship between Abu Talib and Prophet Muhammad.

Narrated Ibn Umar: Once the Prophet went to the house of Fatima (R.A) but did not enter it. 'Ali (R.A) came and she told him about that. When ‘Ali (R.A) asked the Prophet (P.B.U.H) about it, he said, "I saw a (multi-colored) decorated curtain on her door. I am not interested in worldly things." 'Ali (R.A) went to Fatima (R.A) and told her about it. Fatima (R.A) said, "I am ready to dispense with it in the way he suggests." The Prophet ordered her to send it to such-and-such needy people. This hadith explain us that Ali (R.A) and Fatima (R.A) lived in separate house.

Then as Islam gives hijab (parda) a main concern it cannot pull together the in-laws in the same house. Living in the same house it is more or less impracticable for a woman to observe hijab. When a women lives with in-laws in the same house there's bound to be loose talks between male and female members of the family and Islam doesn't like that. It was narrated from Uqbah Bin Amir [may Allah be pleased with him] that Allah’s Messenger (P.B.U.H) said, “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from the Ansar said, “O Messenger of Allah! What about the in-law?” He said, “The in-law is death.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim]

Husband’s male relatives, except his father, grandfather or sons from another marriage, are being likened to “death” by our Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H). It is not permissible for her to respond to their demands or to go along with their whims and desires for her to mix with them, look at them, shake hands with them and give up hijaab, because if she pleases them in this manner she will incur the wrath of her Lord. According to the explicit list of ‘Mahrams’, as stated in the Holy Quran, the sons of her husband’s brothers and sisters are not Mahrams, rather they are among the people of whom you should be extra cautious, because the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) likened them to death. The reason behind titling them ‘death’ seems very plain as there is more fear pertaining to them than anyone else because they are able to reach the woman and be alone with her without anyone denouncing that, unlike the case of one who is a stranger.

Shaykh ‘And al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) opines that it is permissible for a woman to sit with her husband’s brothers or cousins, etc., if she is wearing complete shar’i hijaab, which means covering her face, hair and entire body, because she is ‘awrah and fitnah. That is if there is nothing dubious about the gathering. But if the crowd is one in which there is something hesitant, then it is not allowed, such as sitting with them in order to listen to singing and musical instruments, etc. Sharh Muslim, 14/154

Islam even suggests that if a man has more than one wife, then he have to provide separate dwelling to each of his wives. This is manifest from Sunnah of Prophet (P.B.U.H) and practice of his companions.

Now we talk about despite all these clear knowledge what are the reasons that made the joint family system promote in the society. These reasons are several and among these all the most important is that the Joint Family System is taken as a very good example of humanism, benevolence, mutual trust and co-operation. Even if a woman demands for separate house it is taken as morally wrong and indecent in the families.

Moreover, this system ensures that those family members who, for any reason, are incapable to earn their living do not face hardship and thus are spared humiliation.

Then some people think that in Islam it has strongly emphasized on the issue of silatu 'r-rahm (keeping the bond of relationship intact) thus promoting the virtue of helping the relatives which we may have, they say, only living in joint family system and not in nuclear system.

Sometimes the idea of joint family is a result of bad economic conditions, and owing to affordability of separate house.

Seeing all these excuses I would say that it is totally wrong assessment about the issue. We see that the Islam provides such a highway that makes us feel the sweet smell of both the family systems: nuclear and joint, without having us to bear the hardships of either system. For example take the example of Hazrat Ali (R.A) AND Hazrat Fatima (R.A). This example showed two things. Firstly, Ali and Fatima lived in separate house. Secondly, the Parents give naseeha (advise) to their children, and children obey good advice of their parents even living in separate house. Meaning thereby living in separate house by no means proves to be disconnected by blood relations. Same is the case with the people incapable of earning. We can easily financially help them out living in separate houses as in the case of Abu Talib wee see the great example of silatu 'r-rahm.

Man is financially responsible for his dependants that include his wife, or wives in case he has more than one, children, father, and mother. However, he is not financially responsible for other members of his extended family or tribe, including his sibling. Although he can provide financial aid to his siblings or other relatives but it is not obligatory to him.

As far as the affordability of separate houses is concerned, Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah favoured the view that if the husband is poor or unable to provide separate accommodation for his wife, she does not have the right to ask for something he is unable to give. This was narrated from him in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (5/122). Rather she should bear it with patience until Allah gives him the means.

Family is a family. If it has been molded with love, respect, care, obedience, tolerance and compromise, I tell you, your house turns into home and homes turns into heaven.

Now a question arises in the mind about the parents. Say a couple has three sons and after the marriage of all three they are to live in separate houses, then what about the parents? Off course the parents may live with one and not with all. Then with whom they will live? The answer is very simple. The parents have great right upon their children more than anyone else. It is obligatory to all the children to do all, off course within the limits of Islam, what pleases them. I must state the obvious fact that children have ultimate responsibility to be kind and obedient to their parents, and look after them when they are old. So it is upon the parents whether they want to live separately or when and with whom they want to live, must be welcomed by the children. Allah Almighty says: 17:23 And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.

Now supposing that I have made obvious all the points on the matter of joint family system, I want you know the consequences or draw becks of having it. Firstly this creates serious conflict of interest between the new wife and current residents of the house as after the marriage, it is woman's right to run affairs of her husband's house. This is evident from Sunnah of Prophet (P.B.U.H) and practice of Sahaba. Joint family system has embedded with it interferences into each other's matter, and abuse of rights. In such system the wife is at a natural disadvantage because the husband remains with the people who are his family and gets a lot of moral support whereas the wife has to make all the adjustments with too much scrutiny.

Whenever we create even a little distance from the holy teachings of Islam, we beset with the several troubles and hardships. A Muslim is a person who believes, accepts and practices all that is within the parameters of a book starting from Alif-laam-meem and ending at Wanaas. We can’t be the true believers until and unless we consider the Prophet’s advice over and above even our own logic or common sense.

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      zoya 5 years ago

      Great work done..I really like the way of presenting your thoughts. you should have to make this thing in count that you should keep this work continue. keep it up!!!!!

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Thank you Zoya for appreciation and such a sweet moral support :) Allah bless you!

    • Neverletitgo profile image

      Neverletitgo 5 years ago from Minneapolis, MN

      Masaha Allah. I am really happy to see this kind article at hubpage. We need to show the people the sweetness of Islam and how was they Of our lovely Prophet saw.May Allah give you more ajar for presenting this family issue article in Islamic way. Thanks again.

      Abdi.

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Neverletitgo thanks for these nice words. Your comment gave me immense pleasure. It feels wonderful to know about the Muslims who take the Islamic teachings with that pride otherwise living here in Pakistan I see many Muslims around but most of the times ISLAM seems to be nowhere :( may Allah guide us to SIRAT AL MUSTAQEEM.

      May Allah help us propagate these teachings coz these are for our own assistance. Having these teachings followed we can’t run into any dilemma and in the life hereinafter definitely there will be ajar for obedience. JAZAK ALLAH for wishing me.

    • Freya Cesare profile image

      Freya Cesare 5 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

      This is one strong article. Well done, Sister, masha Allah! Love it!

      This article can beat to the core of several cultures which many Muslims around the world still used. I really proud of you!

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Ferya your comments play the role of oxygen for my each and every article. so keep commenting... :)

      By the way all praise is for Allah,

      the Lord of the worlds.

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      Ghulam Fareed Leghari 5 years ago

      Masha Allah,May Allah bless an enterprise to all Muslim girls like Rabia.I,m really impressed after reading this informative article.Carry on sister Rabia.

    • Zia Khan Khitran profile image

      Zia Khan Khitran 5 years ago from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

      you are right Ghulam fareed leghari my Allah give us righteous to follow all Islamic rules in our life

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Ghulam Fareed Leghari thanks brother for this encouragement. My all efforts will be paid back if even only one family understands the true spirit of Islam on this issue otherwise I observed that if a women asks for separate dwelling she is blamed and this demand is taken as against moral values. May Allah lead us to Siraat e Mustaqeem . May Allah increase your Emaan bro thanks for reading..

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Zia Khan Khitran at long last you read this :) am glad ^_^

      Thank you.

    • Taalib Pugh1 profile image

      Theodore Pugh 5 years ago from Wilkes Barre Pa

      Jazakullahu khairan for clarifing what's from Qur'an and Sunnah from what's not, from what is practiced, may be traditional or cultural in our muslim lives. Please take a view of my first Hub here in the Islam, Quran and Muhammad category. Its called "Tawheed First". Please vote, rate and comment if possible your brother in Islam will appreciate it much.

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Taalib for ladies it should be 'JAZAKILLAH'. Thanks for the compliment by the way. Yeah sure I must read your hub.

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      M.Hassan 5 years ago

      JAZAKILLAH,Miss Khitran.I am a muslim girl from Bangladesh,in a service in a group of companies for more than two years.I got married to a muslim guy one and half years back.we have a 9 months old daughter by the grace of ALLAH SUBHANAHWTALA.I am living with my husband's parents and sister.from the very beginning of my marriage my mother-in-law and her daughter are creating problems within me and my husband.even few days back my sister-in-law tried to beat me in front of my parents and husband.but, no single person from my husband's family tried to solve this issue.which is really humiliating to me and my parents.sister, i really tried to adjust with them just for the sake of my husband's happiness.but now i don't know what to do.in this situtaion what will be the right Islamic way to get rid of this problems.i would also like to add that, after that i requested my husband to live separately but he wont.i really hate those family clashes which creates a distance between me and my husband.i really want a heavenly home when both of us return from Office.regards...will be eagerly waiting for your valuable piece of advice.

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Assalam o alaikum sis!

      First of all let me tell you that it is truly pleasing to meet a Bengali Muslimah here because Bangladesh is the country I like the most after Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. Sis it is sad to hear all of this from you. Actually all of our troubles are outcome of our detachment from the Islamic teachings. Sis you ought to solve this issue by arbitration. You should call a meeting of some elders from both the families and put the matter before them. To please the husband is utmost duty of a wife. So be flexible and try to find a mid way to solve the problem. Sis try to convince him that to have a joint family system is not the only way to express love and care to parents and sisters rather it creates coldness in relations. On the other hand by having separate family system all the relations may be treated in balanced approach. Secondly its darkest aspect is its unconstructive impact on your daughter. These circumstances will not allow her to grow up in a perfect personality. Sis I am not a religious scholar or a jurist so I would better advise you to discuss with a scholar for further details and better resolution. If God forbidden despite all this the problem is not solved then be patient and wait until Almighty Allah solves it. INSHALLAH I’ll keep praying for you and sis always try to be closer and closer to Islamic teachings. It is mandatory for our success in both the lives. Everything will be well and good inshaAllah.

    • profile image

      M.Hassan 5 years ago

      Thank u sister for ur kind advice.INSHALLAH I am always praying to ALLAH to give me patience and to show me the right path for all our problems to be solved.Sister i must say i like the way you right. May ALLAH always be with u.regards

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      JAZAKILLAH my sweet sis for this excellent prayer :)

      May Allah Almighty bless you with happiness, togetherness, success, love and laughter.... and everything else that makes this life a happy one for you.

    • uzma shaheen profile image

      Uzma Shaheen Bhatti 5 years ago from Lahore,Pakistan

      A great piece of work, excellent hub. you addressed the topicwith all details. the biggest problem with joint family system is that it becomes very hard to maintain hijab.may ALLAH bless you and grant you more knowledge and wisdome.aamin.

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 5 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      @ uzma

      very right uzma and I am cent per cent sure that if joint family system is banned today, divorce rate will show a rapid decrease. Thank you for reading and for commenting ^_^ Allah bless you.

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      Kamran Rafi 4 years ago

      the aayah(Qur'an, 24: 61) you quoted in the begning also talks about mother's house and father's house separately("...yourselves that ye eat ( without asking permission) in your own houses or the houses of your fathers, or houses of your mothers"). Does it also indicates that mother and father should live separately as you deducted about brothers and sisters...?if it implies so and so then there would be no concept of a household in Islam.Or otherwise this aayah just indicates the relations from we can eat...

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 4 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Assalam o Alaikum!

      No, by no means it implies that mother and father SHOULD live separately. The reason why this notion is used is as follows: In fact in the early Islamic society (and even now in some societies) men usually had more than one wife, so it is indicating those separate houses. Secondly there may be situation where mother and father get separated then also they have separate dwelling.

      One more thing, if in any case we are not clear about the Shar’ia Ruling then we must drop a line to the Sunnah and the common practice of the companions (R.A) of Holy Prophet S.A.W.W. It will INSHALLAH make us understandable.

    • profile image

      Rubina mir 4 years ago

      Jazakallah ,sister thanks for the nice and hot topic for many people. Im living in a country who believe in separate family system and they are happy ,healthy,and doing more respect of there inlaws. ALLAH BLASSE YOU.

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 4 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      Thanks for these precious wishes sis :)

      It's nice to hear about your country culture. Yeah Islam is solution to all social issues.

    • profile image

      tahir aziz 4 years ago

      last week the topic on joint family vs nuclear family was given to me for class discussion, I am really happy and thank to you for this brief article.

      i have question here.. if a person has 5 children (all are boys), then after the marriage of 1st child, what should do the parents.. the child with his his wife should be separated..?? if they are separated then after the 2nd child's marriage, that new couple must also be separated because three more boys are left in that house.. completing the marriage of 5 boys, parents are too much old... in these circumstances what should do a person.??

      un 2 bachon ki shadi ki bad kya kry, un 2 married ko na apny sath rkh skty hn r alag kren to boorhi maaan sari zindgi beton ko palti rhy, khana khilati rhy r apni khidmat k time aany tk khud he guzr jaye.. tab aesi situation me banda kyaa kry..??

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 4 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      @ tahir aziz

      i'm glad to know that my this little effort was an assistance to you :)

      Firstly i want you know that I’m not a religious scholar; i know little about Islam. But i want to share my opinion about the topic.

      To manage a separate dwelling for married kids by no means implies that you are gonna separate your parents. If you really love and respect your parents, you will definitely find a way to keep your parents on their maximum ease. Keeping in view the illustration you described, it may happen that even after marriage of eldest son, if Allah gives them TAUFEEQ they may keep their parents with them and may come to a set up minding all other commands of Allah including the command of HIJAB, where daughter in law will share the family responsibilities of her mother in law. Yes mother in law should be treated like her real mother. If her real mother is in such situation, she will never leave her alone giving the excuse that Islam is so and so about this issue. Love and affection is must for being a part of family. If you give proper place to love and respect, you will never come across any problem.

      Keep exploring Islamic conceptions with a pride that you are follower of the only true religion and you bow before Allah, who is The Only Creator :)

    • profile image

      syed 4 years ago

      Before 01 year in Rawalapindi I met one family and situation was confusing and ruling on it is required, what is the "Ruling" of "Financial Responsibility" of "Sisters" when Father dies, the family left is wife n sons and daughters, while daughters are more in age and less qualified, and males are a bit high in education but enemployed or in bad financial condition, is it Male is responsible to cushion and support the family as "Fard" & "Wajib" Category or Permissible or adviseable as best to do and best to support how much he can?

      regards

      Syed Ahmed

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 4 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      @Syed Ahmed

      Assalam o Alaikum

      you raised very interesting topic bro... I'd love to know about sharia ruling on the issue. Bro, as i mentioned above, i'm not a scholar as such (I wish I were).. But I wish to know all about Islam. InshaAllah I will try to satisfy this question from any religious scholar and same is recommended to you as well. In case I come to know first, I'll post the answer here, you too please do the same if you find it. It may increase somebody else's knowledge, it is Sadqa e Jaria :)

      JazakAllah khair for opening a door to my knowledge :)

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      M. Abdullah 4 years ago

      Very good article in the light of the Holy Qur'an and Sunnah. May Allah increase your knowledge!

    • profile image

      noname 3 years ago

      Assalamualaikum, I live with my wife and parents together in same house as I can't afford separate house and maintain both houses.

      Problem is my wife and mother do not like each other. my wife does mistakes in house holds and my mother scolds my wife or beat her at times. I do not know what to do. please advise.

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 3 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      @noname

      Unfortunately I'm not a scholar, the only favour I can do is to pray for you :(

      May Allah Almighty lead you to way out of this panicking situation. Please try to balance the duties and powers between two. I think in this situation the most important issue is the negative impact on kids; please be concerned regarding it. Allah bless you and make everything easy for you.

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      Owais 3 years ago

      May Allah give you reward for this beautiful, Islamic presentation,

      It would be again great!!! And .. ALLAH pak hum sab ko apni hefazat ma rakhy, shetan se bachae rakhy ameen!

    • Rabia Khitran profile image
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      Rabia Saif 3 years ago from Multan, Pakistan

      @Owais

      JazakAllah Khair for such beautiful compliments.

      Ameen... may Allah Almighty protect our Emaan against shaitaan..

    • profile image

      Haania Arshad 3 years ago

      oh my God... I am speechless..what to say,everything isso clear in our religion but we don't bother to explore...i am living in a joint family system and facing so much difficulties.But i know i can't say anything.may Allah bless u for your effort.

    • profile image

      imran 3 years ago

      Mashallah. I search this topic and i found best article at this topic. Great! ALLAH bless you.

    • profile image

      Johnd0 3 years ago

      I like this post, enjoyed this one thankyou for posting . cgagadkkdded

    • profile image

      Johnd257 3 years ago

      You have brought up a very good details , thankyou for the post. egdbgkfcdkag

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      Shaani Ali 3 years ago

      As’salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

      I am agree with the entire article except just a single thing where you have called joint family is indecent or inappropriate.

      If you have had a bad experience doesn't mean you should have been emphasized on the same issue while writing this article but showing everything just to make your words true make it worthless.

      Indeed, you have put a great effort to emphasize and to give people understanding that joint family system sometimes may leads to misunderstanding in a family and thus a nuclear system is preferable but with the mercy, blessings and by the will of ALLAH Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, i have also witnessed here in many families here in Pakistan that joint family system is the good choice.

      Suppose, a couple has just married and the husband works at abroad but due to some reason he can't call her wife at that country i.e (he isn't allowed or it isn't permissible) so would you like to prefer the wife to live separately while the husband's family can give her a great moral support?

      Furthermore,

      Abu Talib wasn't the father or mother of our prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) so to that way your explanation has no mean to me.

      Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)'s mother wasn't alive at that time, so we can't assume or conclude either he practised to live with his mother or separately while calling his mother to live at his home.

      Regarding the following one:

      Narrated Ibn Umar: Once the Prophet went to the house of Fatima (R.A) but did not enter it. 'Ali (R.A) came and she told him about that. When ‘Ali (R.A) asked the Prophet (P.B.U.H) about it, he said, "I saw a (multi-colored) decorated curtain on her door. I am not interested in worldly things." 'Ali (R.A) went to Fatima (R.A) and told her about it. Fatima (R.A) said, "I am ready to dispense with it in the way he suggests." The Prophet ordered her to send it to such-and-such needy people. This hadith explain us that Ali (R.A) and Fatima (R.A) lived in separate house.

      If you're talking about that Fatima (May ALLAH be pleased with her) used to live separately after her marriage. I think after the marriage all women goes to her hubby's home and does not stay at their father's or mother's house.

      Lastly,

      I'm against your claim to calling joint family system as indecent or inappropriate as it has never been mentioned in any verse of Qur'an or in Shariah or in hadith or have never been prohibited.

      Also want to bring into your knowledge a verse of Qur'an and ahadith of prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him):

      And, [moreover], this is My path, which is straight, so follow it; and do not follow [other] ways, for you will be separated from His way. This has He instructed you that you may become righteous.

      [Surat Al-'An`ām (The Cattle) 6:153]

      “Whoever innovates anything in this matter of ours (i.e., Islam), that is not part of it will have it rejected.”

      [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 2697; Muslim, no. 1718]

      "Some persons from amongst my associates would turn to my Cistern; when I would see them and they would be presented to me, they would be detained in the way while coming to me. I would say: My Lord, they are my companions, they are my companions, and it would be said to me: You don't know what innovations they made after you.

      [Muslim :: Book 30 : Hadith 5706]

      There is one companion of prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him) who practised to live in a joint family and never left her mother alone until her deathbed.

      Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him) said about him:

      The Holy Prophet continued: "On the Day of Judgment, Awais would be accompanied to paradise by 70,000 angels who'd resemble him." The reason the Holy Prophet gave for this was: "Since Awais prayed all his life in seclusion so as not to be noticed, Allah would also keep his purdah (cover)."

      When people asked the Holy Prophet whether Awais Qarni had even come to see him, he said: "No, he never saw me, but he has the privilege of seeing me through Kashf (spiritual revelation), and he has reasons for not being able to see me. He is the only one to take care of his blind mother."

      Again Sahaba-Ikram asked if they could see him, to which the Holy Prophet replied: "No, only Umer bin Khattab and Ali would meet him, and his identification is - he has thick hair all over his body, and a white patch on his left hand." He directed Hazrat Umer and Hazrat Ali: "When you see him, convey to him my salaam (greetings) and ask him to pray for my Ummah."

      "And who'd be the right person to receive your Abaya (the cloak the Holy Prophet used over his clothes) after you leave the world?" the Sahaba asked.

      "Awais Qarni," said the Holy Prophet.

      I'd also like to bring into your knowledge that i'm not married yet and haven't experienced what caused you write this article in such way but i'd also promote the concept of joint family system instead of the nuclear one as there is no harm to promote its concept in Islam.

      Jazakillahu khairan sister for such a beautiful article and was a great pleasure of mine to read it thoroughly.

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      hijab 3 years ago

      if forcefully we hv to share room with brother in law's family? then who is responsible because at night no one can take care of pardha.

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      hassan 3 years ago

      Thanks rabia baji

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      Maha 3 years ago

      It's really informative specially for those boys who thought that the wife is the servant of inlaws.and she has no right to spend her life independently.

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      abdullah 2 years ago

      This is a biased article

      in islam there are example of sahabah ra in joint families, at the same time examples of the example you stated, for whom which one is better depends on the individual and circumstances

      even i can write an article showing why joint family is better, but this is my opinion not islam

      we know muhammad saw was in a joint family with khadija rh whilst with his other wives not example of both example

      the example of ali ra is a flawed concept, when man and woman marry have you ever heard of man moving in the house of his father in alw or wife? no it is the other way round as after marriage the wife becomes part of his family not the other way round, so this is a flawed example

      and the correct narration here is ali ra lived with his mother and his wife fatima ra yet his mother and his wife did not argue with one another, some sahabah ra lived with there brothers, other sahaba ra lived separate but kept good connection with there parents

      this is based on individual and circumstances

      just giving biased views of one side or the other is not correct you have to give the proper islamic fatwa based on evidences

      http://islamqa.info/en/83089

      http://islamqa.info/en/172930

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      abu hanzalah 2 years ago

      Very nice work sister

      It cleared so many doubts in our mind , keep doing the good work, may Allah help you spread the truth.

      Ameen

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      maria 2 years ago

      i m searching for this for too many months as i was against to live with inlaws due to some reasons

      really very thankfull to u for this beautiful article

      best regards :-)

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      ms...... 2 years ago

      I read all articles but I have a question..in fact it's my story...I married out of family.my husband job out of country he returned justone and half . I don't know their family members and ways. ...but my in laws expect ed a lot of it died my best but when my husband wants return thy said u have a lot of responsil....now I have 3 kids he is still outside still give the monthly as well as their marriage s expenditure...Their studies fees bbut when I ask he said its my responsibility why u say only parents Or brother sister all his reresponseiblty who's me or my kids now thy r doing job but always told the give u. ...ttell me islamic point of view thanx

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      samshy61@yahoo.com 2 years ago

      may ALLAH BLESS all Muslims....we dnt, practice golden priciplas of Islam.....w r only believers....thnx for this Beautiful Ahadees....

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      mushtaq 2 years ago

      jazakallah rabia for such informative issue.but i saw one thing inappropriate at ur website,the ads r so vulgar that it doesn't look an islamic website..rabia although u r getting financial benefit from it but money is not everything,u should restrict such ads .thanks

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      imran ansari 2 years ago

      But the wife who doesn't care of hijaab.

      and don't know mich about islam.

      and deemands separate house in her parents nearby. And she doesn't want to

      Even live in my parents city. And wants to take care of children. Where she doesn't do hijab. But I want to keep my wife with me. But she doesn't wants.

      How can I leave my wife in different city only with child. When I live in abroad.

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      hareem 24 months ago

      Ayat of surah noor you quotef is not out joint family system please go through its shan e nazool..

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      Miraal lateef 24 months ago

      ma shaa ALLAH Al hamd u lilah indeed ,Islam is a golden path to follow

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