Keys To Never Letting Divorce Destroy Your Faith In Your Ability To Love and Trust
Empathy Leads To Trust
Did you fail to love her and feel her soul?
Have you lost your appreciation of that woman who loved you deeply?
I have met way too many men who were with the most phenomenal women, who just lost their appreciation. The men were chasing excitement and challenge. They THOUGHT they wanted to settle down, but after settled for so long, their naughty devil scrambled to take control.
Infidelity is common these days and it leads to divorce. Some of the greatest divorce advice is not to apply for divorce but to appreciate the girl who promised her life to you in the first place.
I dare you to lay there one night as she is sleeping and if she is raising your children, trying to keep fit, while juggling a job, knowing that she never expected to be in this situation with you in this life and just watch her breathe. Can you find that girl you feel is lost. can you hold her and make her feel REALLY loved?
Are your actions that of a strong, confident man who is there for his woman? Or are you an overweight, smoking, drinking stress ball who just wants to be left alone when you get home from work?
I remember a failed relationship of one of my clients who recalled how his ex wife would love to speak for half an hour before sleeping. She would even say, "I have half an hour!" Each night this happened and he grew so tired of that half hour. For her, it was fun and she felt his love.
But one day she stopped wanting to talk for half an hour. Because he kept pushing her away because he wanted to sleep, she began to feel unloved. This drew a wedge between them. If he wanted a lesson in how to divorce, this was it. Lose appreciation for the woman who is not only willing, but yearning to be in his world.
Take this time to ask yourself if you are a very lucky man indeed for all that you have and imagine what would happen if this woman, so dedicated to you, left you for somebody else and a greater life.
The Sad Thought, "Where Have all the Good Men Gone?" A Failure to appreciate
Time and again we hear one female say, "Where are all the good guys?"
No matter who this woman is, she believes she deserves a great man. She demands the great guy without ever looking at her own actions as to what put her in her lonely situation to judge all other men as 'not good".
The issue is in judgment of an entire male race based on a few inane, silly and rare situations. yet this has fed through the entire feminist agenda for decades that men no longer feel appreciated. now I don't care whether a man is long term married, divorced or single, men no longer feel appreciated in their own country.
Recently i saw on Facebook an old friend, who is wealthy, funny but a little cooky and lacking in conifdence with the opposite sex, with an asian lady he met abroad. For the millions of women in his own country, the only one to appreciate him was one from a third world country.
Now, i will hear some women think he is just defeated and will something negative about his decision. but remember, men desperately seek love too. We are expected to stay strong, but we are still vulnerable and fallible.
And so when I began running seminars for women seeking to catch and keep a great man I was forced to ask, "What is it about you that would make that idea man go for you? To choose you?
Or, are you:
- projecting your anger over previous divorces and breakups on your new man
- Living in desperation
- Living in selfishness
- Living with a feeling of complete entitlement
- Believing you are superior
- Closed off
Do you believe you deserve a good guy?
What is a good guy to you? And how many times have you chosen the bad option and let the good guy go?
Have you ever played games with a guy in your youth and now find those same men no longer wish to know you?
Having a deep sense of empathy and calm and just being in that moment with a man in all of his fallibility can make you fall in love with some of the most different and amazing men who have so much to offer you.
If you are seeking to be loved, there are many men who will be up for it, if only understand that your definitions and judgments have been destroying you, whether you are now single and divorced or just way to judgmental of the opposite sex.
Understanding Other People's Actions Leads To Inner Peace
After Divorce, You Can Feel Torn Inside
Your Divorce is NOT the end
That moment when the dust has settles and you have just moved into your new apartment is come. there is that silence now that your friends and family have left after helping you move in.
There it is...that silence. It is the sound of divorce. And in these moments you may become angry about what has happened. You reflect on what led to your divorce and you put all of this blame and anger onto the opposite sex. Trust me when I tell you that a vast majority of the opposite sex already hate YOU and they have never met you. it's not you. it's your gender. And now you feel the same towards them.
Yet you expect to find new love hoping somebody will heal your wounds? Don't expect it.
If only you could wipe your memory of the pain. but this also will not happen.
There is a term called 'universal beliefs'. These are beliefs we have about a people, a race, colour, sexual orientation or the economy of a people. You can lump them into one area and say they are all the same and hate them all the same, based on one situation you were in.
Now remember, however old you are now, you were never as young as 10 years ago when life was youthful and exciting. You feel that financial pressure or social pressure to get out there and meet people but you just want to scream at the world. Not healthy.
But divorce is not the end. it takes tapping into your empathy for the world at large and understanding that each and every person is trying to seek out happiness and are constantly suffering for their own previous crimes and crimes that were committed upon them.
We are all seeking solace, especially in our life after divorce. We seek change and we seek the love of others. We seek sexual validation, wanting to know we are still attractive to others and we know internally that if we live with this anger in our hears there will be no life after divirce except one that is angry, depressing, sad and lonely.
You can seek out new happiness, first by being happy for other people and appreciating their achievements with them.
Start here and remember great people achieve great things only by believing in themselves and feeling the appreciation of others. And they live in gratitude for all they have, no matter what they have
A Great Video To Learn Self Love and Appreciation After Divorce
Movies That Will MAKE Your Appreciate All you Have
P.S I Love You
City of Angels
The Green Mile
Little Miss Sunshine
Lost In Translation
Out of Africa