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Learning To Respect My Husband - A Devotional for Wives

Updated on February 19, 2013
Does yelling at my husband glorify God?
Does yelling at my husband glorify God?

Ephesians 5:22- 33

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

I read the above passage and then I start to ask myself hard questions. Am I a good wife? Do I respect my husband? After I ask myself these hard questions I realize the answers are negative. Then I have to ask God how I can change this and how can He be glorified in my marriage? What can I do that would cause my husband to stop and be in awe of our amazing God?

I used to think respect was earned. I did not have to respect my husband if he was not being my idea of a good husband. God is teaching me through trials that respect for my husband is not conditional. God has placed my husband as the head of our household. I should respect my husband because God has given him that authority. In Romans thirteen, we are told to respect our leaders. In the first book of Timothy in the second chapter, we are told to pray for our leaders. My husband is the leader in our home and as such is due not only my respect but also my prayers.

When my husband and I argue, I need to show him God’s grace by not yelling back and trying to defend myself. This is not so easily done. My sinful human nature tells me to yell back and fight. God reminds me of all He has done for me. When I did not know Jesus as my Savior, I would mistreat God. I had a great disdain for Him. But God did not treat me the same way I treated Him. He loved me and pursued me even more. That is how I am to love my husband, relentlessly. In Proverbs, we are told “ a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” When my husband gets mad at me, I need to remember yelling back does not respect him, but more importantly, it does not respect God. I can disagree with my husband but with respect and not at the top of my lungs. As a Christian, my main goal in my marriage and in all of my relationships needs to be to glorify God. When I tell my husband I am a Christian, I need to act like Christ.

My efforts in being a graceful wife showing my husband respect and God’s love to my husband are tested frequently. I am embarrassed to say that I am stubborn and learning this new behavior is one of the hardest things I am doing. I am so thankful God is faithful and merciful. When things are not right in our marriage, I need to ask God what I have done or am doing to make it that way. Then I need to ask God to show me how I can make our marriage better.

When I fight with my husband, I can show him respect by not using sarcasm, not putting him down and not calling him names. When we fight, I can show my husband respect by not giving him a cold shoulder and a deaf ear after my feelings are hurt. When I get mad at my husband, I need to understand it honors neither him or God if I talk about his perceived wrongdoings to everyone with a listening ear. I greatly disrespect my husband when I am critical of him and tell others what a horrible person he is. I need to remember I am a horrible person too. We are both selfish sinners. I bear as much responsibility for our problems and for making them better. God cherishes us both. He is no respector of persons.

Forgiveness is an important part of me showing my husband respect. God is so quick to forgive us and cover us with His grace. I need to be just as quick to ask forgiveness when I have done something to hurt my husband. I need to be just as quick to offer forgiveness when he realizes he has done something to hurt me.

I can respect my husband by praying for him to walk close with God. I can pray that I might have a willing heart to follow my husband’s leadership as we seek to serve God together. Through the strength and example of Christ, I can learn to respect and honor my husband. I can learn to be a grace filled wife. I can learn to be more precious to my husband than jewels (Proverbs 31:10).

Lord, thank you for my husband. Help me to love him and respect him and do good to him all the days of my life.



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    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 4 years ago from Georgia

      Allison, Thanks for reading. Glad you found this helpful. It's a continuing struggle. God is molding us to be the people and the wives He wants us to be.

    • allisonlawrence profile image

      allisonlawrence 4 years ago from Kansas

      From a newly wed, thanks for being so real and honest. I appreciate the practicals too. Thanks for sharing!

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      Joan, Thank you. Yes, that is how we are to respecti our husbands. I appreciate your insight.

    • Joanmaynard profile image

      Joan 5 years ago from St Kitts

      Thank you for this hub. It gave me sound advice. I too have struggled and still struggle in understanding what submission to my husband really means. Because it was very difficult for me at first, I turned to God, and he helped me to understand the passage a little bit more. Verse 22 says

      22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

      God helped me to understand that I should treat my husband with the same respect I would treat the Lord. For example if God gave me a direction, even if I had concerns, would I do it? Yes I would, because I trust God and I know he would not put me in harms way.

      Then the same applies for my husband. We should not put up a fuss or a defense, but do it as willingly as you would, if it was the Lord that had asked.

      Just wanted to share my little bit.

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      bettyb, how awesome it must have been growing up in a home like that! Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Kelly, I appreciate that this is what you needed. Thanks for the prayers. You definitely have mine. When our husbands don't behave how we think we should, we want to act like that gives us license to not behave in the right way either. It doesn't. God has a different plan. He expects us to act like Godly women and show Godly love.

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      Ceegen, Thanks for reading. Easier said than done but God's grace is sufficient. He is the ultimate example.

    • Ceegen profile image

      James 5 years ago from Maine, USA

      Always be that example you wish to see others follow!

      God bless.

    • bettybarnesb profile image

      bettybarnesb 5 years ago from Bartlett, TN

      Your article is priceless. It is not always easy to please God, however, He grants us the Grace and strength to do His will. My mother was a very humble and submissive wife and I don't ever remember an argument taking place between my parents. I can't say the same for my marriage. However, I do know what it looks like. Her obedience caused my daddy to adore her. God will continue to give a gentleness in your husband because of your decision to submit. Thank you for sharing.

      be blessed....

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      ComfortB, Thanks for reading. It is hard for Christian wives to be obedient to God and submit to our husbands but that is how He has designed it to be. It would be so easy to stay in the flesh and think if my husband doesn't act right, then neither should I. You are so right. We can't do that. Life is so much more enjoyable when we obey God.

    • ComfortB profile image

      Comfort Babatola 5 years ago from Bonaire, GA, USA

      Beautiful hub! The Lord has used you and will continue to use you to touch on a subject that's not easily embraced by us christian women 'submission to the husband', and that includes me 'cause I can be very stubborn at times on this issue. There's always the need on our part to justify our behavior with excuses like 'if he hadn't done this or that, I wouldn't have done this or that'.

      If we will just obey our part, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. " The Lord will take care of the rest. 'Vengeance is mine says the Lord.' I need to remember this words. We all need to remember this words.

      You also touch on the part of praying for our husbands. This is very true as it always marks the beginning of our healing from the hurt we feel were caused by them. Remember Job? " And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends."—Job 42:10

      Gob bless us all as we walk in obedience to God's will - Amen!

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks, Leslie.

    • profile image

      lesliebyars 5 years ago

      Add Your Comment..great Hub, thumbs up.

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks, teacherjoe, for the advice. Focus on the Family is indeed helpful. Blessings to you.

    • teacherjoe52 profile image

      teacherjoe52 5 years ago

      Hi Icbenefield.

      You might want to listen to Focus on the Family and going to sites on Saddleback church for help.

      God bless you.

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      Martha, Thanks for reading. Congratulations on your anniversary. It's okay if the world thinks us odd as long as we live like God wants.

      Ann, Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment.

    • Martha Apple profile image

      Martha Apple 5 years ago from Port Angeles, WA

      Thank you for a lovely, humble article. I haven't been married that long (a year in October). Its encouraging and refreshing to see a devotional like this, especially in this day and age where you're considered a fuddy duddy if you try to be a submissive, Godly wife. Thanks again!

    • AnnRandolph profile image

      AnnRandolph 5 years ago

      Good article. Through the years I've grown tired of yelling back or even responding when he's angry. I've noticed he rarely yells anymore.

      I guess we've bothed mellowed.

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      Grand, What a beautiful comment you left on my hub. I really appreciate you reading. God's love is amazing.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Mutual love and respect is so important in marriage. I think it becomes easier to submit when you remember the good traits, the good side of your husband when you feel angry with him. It also helps to put God in the middle of your marriage, so you love each other with God's love, instead of just human love, which is so limited and conditional. Thank you for this hub and for sharing your life with us:)

    • lcbenefield profile image

      lcbenefield 5 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks, Faith, for reading. God is teaching me to love and respect my husband as I ought. Glory to God for revealing His truths to us in His Word if we just bother to pick it up.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 5 years ago from southern USA

      Excellent hub on respect of your husband. A lot of men twist what His Word tells us, when He tells us to submit to your husband, but He is referring to a Godly man, and that makes all the difference in the world. Great points of His truths. In His Love, Faith Reaper


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