Let me be judged against the perfect
End of Days _ Mosaic Church, LA
Pain is it not to belong
Acceptance - we all want it, but what is it really? By definition is the action of agreeing to something provided/offered. The literal definition does not fully reflect the pressure society has placed upon this word. Acceptance means to us to be included, to be wanted, to be picked, and/or to be remembered. This why we do what we do. We want to be part of a group, family, coven, or tribe. Try as we may, if we not accepted, we are not granted access into a particular community. Inside each of these groups are standards and rules to follow or house at the core of our being. If you cannot house or adopt these cores you cannot be part. Whether you want to or not, you are placed on the outside of the group. Therefore, making you unaccepted.
Judgments can also get you out of being accepted. The bible talks about judging another. Some parts it talks about judging being necessary. Other parts it tells of how it is destructive. People who practice judging believe themselves to be on the necessary part. And, they are not wrong for this. Judgments keep you safe in the face of danger. A serial killer smiles like everyone else, but he/she is dangerous. Having good judgments in place, keep you from falling victim to this type of being. Therefore, this proves judgments are necessary in some aspect of our social encounters.
Judgments also keep deceptive people from getting to close to you. Try as you may, your body does not sit comfortable around someone who is not good. Your world does not work right when you force the relationship with this person. It is like the world knows this person is not good for you to have in your corner and it is stepping in to prevent you from keeping it. When you finally come to terms with this realization, the person and your problems dwindle away. Weird!
Wake - Mosaic LA
When does it come back around?
Acceptance helps you to find a place where you belong. Without judgments you would never understand growth. We cannot always know the direction our lives are going until we arrive. Looking back, judgments from others or you have allowed you to get to where you are. And, even if you are not in a place of desired experiences, you still have grown and learned. There is a moment inside your life where you can retreat from the now and reflect. You will see all the areas judgment and acceptance has allowed you to change. The person you are today is made true because you have experienced acceptance and judgments.
The point of this is not to tell you how you should not judge another person for the rest of your life or that you should find a comfortable spot to spend the rest of your living days in. It is to try to provide a little better understanding of why judgments and acceptance helps us. In the face of pain, it is hard to tell why something is the way it is. In time and acceptance, you can begin to see why it could never be the way you desire it to be. It allows you to come back to what matters and not be so concerned with the negative. It allows you to see that God has always had you in his hands, guiding you through your life. It does not always make sense when you are in the midst of it all. Once all is revealed, you begin to understand acceptance of it. You then find your new place, which never could included the places of judgments, is far better than where you narrowly tried to gain acceptance but found only judgments.
If you have to change who you are to be accepted, then you are not in the place you should be. You can expect judgments to come out to help you move out of this tribe and into a better community. Sometimes you have to walk through the hardest paths to appreciate the padded ones you are destined for. Instead of crying out in self-pity over the struggle, thank God for allowing you to be here to experience this humbling moment, or two. Everything you need, he already has. Every relationship you will have is divinely connected. You woke up today, because he allowed it. Don’t dishonor him but complaining of the journey. You are being molded to take on what he has in store for you. So let them judge you. Let your group change as it demands, you will be better off in the end.
Acceptance is not about you being picked last or being included when you add God into the mix. It is about you accepting this life is not yours to create, but his. God has a plan and is watching it unfold through time. The only part you have control over is the free well of acceptance. You can fight his plan, go it alone, if you will. But, you will find this to be the hardest path possible to the same finishline. Come back to the light, accept that you are a child of God, and worry less about this life. Once you find peace with this, you will see all your other worries about judgments disappear. Who cares if they judge you not worthy of their tribe! You have a better tribe to belong too. It was one you have always belonged too. They are part of it too. That is okay; because, this world is big enough for everyone to belong within the tribe of God’s.
Matt Killingsworth - Happiness Tedtalk
In the end, you do nothing...
It is hard to accept this. When you are being judged, rightly or incorrectly, it bothers you. You want to defined yourself. You want to prove to them you are a good person. Your life and easily get off track with your thoughts of fitting in. But, you don't have to do this. You don't have to fit in with a tribe that is not accepting of you for who you are. There is another place you are better suited for. When you accept this as a possibility, it is easier to let go of the negative feelings of needing to prove yourself. You can toss your hands back in the air and say, "Enough."
Some magical happens inside that moment when you let go of all those feelings of needing to serve others to prove you are equal to them. It is like the haze is lifted. You start to realize you never needed their acceptance. You always had a place to belong. Where they are is not where you are going. You start to reflect and accept what is being shown to you. You begin to realize how differently your life would have been if you had gained the acceptance. And, then you thank God.