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Life starts from Within

Updated on March 8, 2012
© Quill Collection
© Quill Collection

Welcome Hugs

I know I said I should be packing but decided to stop in again and say hello and share something that is on my heart. It is a burden I carry sometimes and yet I know there is hope.

Welcome again to the Fireside. The fire is very small this morning as it is so warm outside but gather around, say hello and introduce yourself to us all. The setting is the same as always, coffee, tea and yes this morning even some munchies.

Quigley is close at hand and ready for some play. Little changes in her world any toy means attention and I have a collection about my feet. I guess she thinks if she brings me the right one it may fly through the air.

Our Woodpiles

© Quill Collection
© Quill Collection

Let's call Him Joe

Joe came into my life several months ago. We had met on a very casual basis at a community college. After some small talk it seemed like Joe had a few struggles in life and he shared them with me. I will not go into any great detail but after many phone calls I realized there was a pattern he had set in his life. I like to call it the "Blame Game" or pass the buck off on someone else and never once taking responsibility for himself or his own actions.

Each call would dredge up the past over and over again. As a friend I chose to listen, maybe it is a gifting I have no idea but I started to make note of the similarities he had patterned. I called Joe a month ago and suggested we have coffee.

After we had sat for a long while and I again listened I finally spoke and said "Joe please listen." Much to Joe's surprise he learned many things about himself that night. I was not rude, mean or judgemental just honest with the statement "The grave you have dug for yourself is deep and you are wallowing in your own pain." I went on further to explain "A grave is no more than a rut, there is a way in and a way out if you chose to find it. All you need to do is look at a rut and the signs are there in the tracks. A way in and a way out Joe. Stop all the self pity and look at what you can do to find your way out. Sometimes we need to look in the mirror to find the real problem. Personally Joe I think you have created this woodpile of problems and they are all your own making. Get a fire started and rid yourself of them."


© Quill Collection
© Quill Collection

The Call

As you can well imagine Joe left in a bit of a huff over being confronted with what I said. I must tell you it has been a month since I heard from him even though I have attempted to call and email him.

This morning came the call. Joe started to talk about the journey he has been on and his dealing with all the issues. He said he still has some more work to do. "Rolly I must tell you what you told me about a rut being no more than a grave has proven itself many times over. I have been dealing with things in a different light and have made amends with many this past month and I thank you."

Can life be unfair... of course it can. Can we change what has happened... yes if we choose to do so. Somethings we can not change but we have the option of changing our attitudes. If we travel the road of pity it requires us to feed the pity with more negative and damaging thoughts. This can lead to a state of depression where we fail to see the beauty all around us. Go this route in your journey and you will find yourself alone like Joe with no one to listen.

Joe's closing words today "Rolly I take life over the death I was living. The wood pile is close to ashes thanks for being a friend."

To me that means a great deal. You see I can see a new spark in Joe and the people around him. Joe will carry on and his life will change more but more so Joe will change others in his path.

Good on you Joe, you made a great day even better.

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    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

      beautiful example of life and how it affects differently to all. I agree, Rolly...Life can only start for an individual if beckoned from within. Wishing Joel immense happiness as he trudges along the path.

      Voted up as interesting!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Ruchira ... Thanks for the comment and you are right about wishing Joe well... he wil be fine now.... smiles

      Hugs

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thanks Rolly and Joe for spreading more words of wisdom that are appreciated.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Joe is floating on cloud nine... three calls already this morning... lol

      Rolly

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello Rolly, as always the fireside was welcoming and your words of wisdom much appreciated.

      Best wishes my friend and see you soon, Lesley

    • itakins profile image

      itakins 5 years ago from Irl

      It's amazing what happens when the truth is spoken - and fair dues to Joe for listening.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi MM and thanks for dropping in... Good to hear that Joe is doing better this day...

      Hugs

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      H itakins... it is always good to hear of the good taking pace in another life such as this...

      Hugs as always

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 5 years ago from West By God

      Sometimes it takes a friend to listen and a friend to set us upon the right path when we have fallen. Great story and I hope Joe will continue to be a friend of yours.

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Calhoun 5 years ago from Western NC

      It takes courage to tell someone what they need to hear. It also takes courage to take it, digest it and actually work with the information that someone gives to you. The courage to share your wisdom and the courage to receive it are evident in this hub. Bravo.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      HI LG...thank you for stopping and saying hello and yes you are right in many ways. I think the part that many struggle with is stepping out onto that plank and speaking the truth into another persons life. It was hard to talk to Joe.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi CC... good of you to stop in and leave you welcome comment. It is special to have people share their insight here. Joe has caled several times today to share he is doing well and I think he will have an impact on many in the years coming... Good on Joe...

      Hugs as always

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Interesting story! It sounds as though he was really stuck and that you really helped him!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Audrey... Thanks and yes I think he is well on his way now... good to see another step out in freedom of the past.

      Hugs

    • UlrikeGrace profile image

      UlrikeGrace 5 years ago from Canada

      Rolly, what a grand testimony...to you for having the courage and grace to speak the truth...to joe for having the courage and grace to see past his anger and see the truth spoken...to God for having had both of your hearts prepared to do respond to His calling and message. The Gospel is powerful, and will always cut through the web of lies Satan tries to weave about us. I am awed by His mercy and love.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      It sounds like you really helped Joe look at the reality of his situation. I have had several things happen lately that are not good and is easy to have a pity party when tough events happen. However, it feels bad to give into those feelings and I know in my heart that God is in charge and everything will work out for the best in the end. Sometimes you just have to walk through the wilderness. God Bless you Rolly.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hugs Ulrike... just so you know the CD of hubby arrived in the mail... what an accomplishment and he is good and love the fact he has written all these songs himself. You are both so very talented. It must be time for a lunch again soon. Be great to say hello again...

      Hugs from the West

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Pam... you are so right and we are with you in love at reading this... The wilderness for many can be a scary place and yet it can be a wonderful experience as we slowly walk taking the time to look deep within and search out what is happening deep within.

      Hugs to you friend

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      What a great story! You being honest with Joe helped him release past burdens thus, giving him the opportunity for a happier life. Thank's for sharing..A good lesson learned..

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Always... we all need a little boost once in a while... I know as I have been given many over the years by others... they do help... smiles

      Hugs from me

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