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Living the Christian life with same sex desires

Updated on November 18, 2013

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Overcome the struggle of same sex attraction, homosexual behavior

Many Christians struggle with same sex attraction. Some act upon their desires and others just burn in desire. Many of them, with that struggle have problems masturbating. They just don't understand why they can't overcome the struggle of same sex attraction. They ask themselves, "was I born this way?", "why do I have an attraction to the same sex?", or "I have same sex attraction because I was molested as a child."

I am going to explain a few things and give an answer to your problem as a Christian. I, myself have been there. I used to struggle a lot with being attracted to the same sex. A person who experiences same-sex attraction may experience emotional and sexual feelings or attractions, and may or may not engage in sexual behavior, I was raised in church, but I was attracted to other boys for many years. I also have acted upon the desires I had towards other boys.

Many say that Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed because of homosexuality, but that is incorrect. They try to use scare tactics on people who struggles with homosexual acts. Lets see what the bible says, then I will give you the answer on how to overcome your struggle with same sex attraction: I will tell you how I overcame same sex attraction.

The bible doesn't really speak of homosexual act often, but when it does it condemns it as sin. Look at the following verses:

Leviticus 18:22, You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.

Leviticus 20:13, If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their blood guiltiness is upon them.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

Romans 1:26-28, For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, 27 and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.28 And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper,

That is what the bible has to say about homosexual behavior. God has also given us information on how to overcome our sinful desire. Homosexual behavior is like any other sin. Just like lying is a sin, stealing is a sin, etc. Don't let others bring you down because of your struggle. Keep your head up, above water and continue to fight the good fight. Many quit church because of their struggles, but there is no need to quit church. You are not alone, I am going to help you with this. As I said before, I have struggled with homosexual act, same sex attraction. I found the solution to the problem in my Christian faith. I will tell you the steps I took to overcome that struggle.

First of all, you need to understand the complete Plan of Salvation. God was going to destroy the world because of the wickedness of humankind. God found the solution to save humanity from His own Wrath through His Son Jesus Christ. God was NOT going to destroy the world because of Homosexuals only. God was going to destroy the world because humanity turned their backs on God and decided to make other idols or their own gods. The actions of humanity was so wicked, that they needed to pay for their sins. The payment for sin is death. But look what God did on the verse below:

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

How can I overcome same sex attraction, homosexual behavior?

You must be honest with yourself and GOD. Don't be afraid to tell GOD what you are feeling. He is there to help us. HE wants to glorify Himself in our lives.

Trust GOD with all your heart. You must live in celibacy. Just because you struggle with that temptation does not give you license to sin. No one said that the Christian life was going to be easy.

Regular Prayer. Keep God on your mind as often as possible. the bible says, "Pray without ceasing".1 Thessalonians 5:17. It doesn't mean that you are going to be on knees all day. It just means Keep God in your mind, heart, and soul.

Read the Bible Daily. Know GOD through His Word. Understand GOD. You must pray before you read the bible. Ask GOD for understanding and wisdom of His Word.

Fasting What does it mean to fast? Take time away from everything in your normal day for 6 to 12 hours. Alone, just you and GOD. No eating, No drinking. Wake up early, pray and talk to GOD for as long as you want. Then read a portion of the bible and meditate in what you have read. Let the Holy Spirit minister to you. Everyone is not going to hear a voice talking to them. Holy Spirit speaks to your heart which is your mind.

You must discipline your body, mind, and soul. Look what Paul said in the bible,

24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize?Run in such a way that you may win. 25 Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. 26 Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; 27 but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Just like athletes discipline their body for their sports. We as Christian also have to discipline our body. We cannot say, "I can't do that." We have to have faith in GOD and overcome the struggles in our lives with the help of the Holy Spirit.

The bottom line is, our struggle is in our mind. Keeping the mind occupy in the things of the Lord and other activities you will be able to overcome your sexual struggles or any other struggle you may be going through.

The Battle Is In The Mind

Many people who struggles with same sex desires or homosexual behavior, don't believe that it is all in the mind. As I said earlier, your mind is your heart when speaking spiritually. In the book of Romans, it teaches us that we need to renew our minds.

"Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12

In many churches they say that it is a demons. That is incorrect, because when you read Romans 1:27, it tells us that it is a lustful desire. The demons tempts according to your desires. You cannot blame the devil for your decisions. We are free to make our decisions, no one chooses for us, not GOD and not the devil. GOD has given us a free will.

We have to renew our mind by focusing on the Lord, Yes, you will have sexual desires, everyone included those who don't have homosexual behavior goes through that.

Think about it this way, we have a relationship with GOD. As you know, when you are in a relationship, you do not have to cheat on your partner and you don't want your partner to cheat on you either. You expect your partner to be faithful.

GOD is ALL faithful and HE desires you to be faithful to HIM. HE will never leave your nor forsake you. So, as a male or female with same sex desires it will be a battle, but once you get your relationship with GOD on point. The sexual desires won't be important anymore.

If I overcame, so can you. Your mind is the Battlefield, that is why it is difficult to believe that homosexuality is a decision. There is nothing wrong with saying someone is good looking, but you don't have to fantasize about the person. Turn away, your salvation is more important than the fantasy or the few minutes of pleasure.

We must choose whose team we want to be in. In the team of destruction or in the team of everlasting life of happiness, peace, and joy.


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    • Hanavee profile image

      Brian Gray 

      3 years ago from Pennsylvania

      The Bible does NOT condemn homosexuality any more than it condemns any other sexual orientation. Read the book, "Homosexuality, The Bible, The Truth - The Bible Does NOT Condemn Homosexuality." This book represents forty years of intense scholarly research and proves with verifiable and irrefutable fact what the title states.

      It always amazes me that it is always, without exception, heterosexuals who keep telling homosexuals that the only sexual orientation of any value is heterosexuality. That is like White people telling Black people that the only people with value are Whites. Sadly, there was a time not too long ago when that was the law of the land in the U.S., and its concept was based on misinterpretation of the Bible. Bigotry is based in ignorance, the antidote is education, and all bigots are given the free will to remain in ignorance and act accordingly, or study to know the truth. The Bible says that the truth will set you free, but it cannot set free those who chose to remain in ignorance.


    • profile image


      3 years ago

      What do you do when lustful temptation comes over you? I seek the Lord but hear silence.

    • standontherock profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Allentown, PA

      Thank You

    • Caroline Muoti profile image


      4 years ago from Nairobi

      Very insightful article.


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