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Love or Fear? Life’s Two Choices

Updated on May 27, 2009

How to Tell Which One You Live Your Life By

© 2009 Tiffany Snow

Is your life happy, are you living it to the fullest? Do you have emotional peace and calm? Do you wake up each morning anticipating the joy of the adventure of the day ahead? Do you feel secure about your future and the future of your loved ones? Can you actually feel a Divine hand upon your life and the warmth of personal guidance? Do you have a sense of purpose? Are you attaining your biggest dreams? If you do not have these things, what is holding you back? You know that you are unique, and have the potential to do much more than you are presently. But, what has been holding you back? This is nothing you can blame on your job, your family, your mate, your level of education or social standing. This is placed square on your own shoulders and influences every day of your life, which has a ripple effect on every day after it. Let’s look closer at life’s two choices and honestly see which one you are living your life by, and why.

There are only two choices in life. Love or the opposite of love; and the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. Love always moves us forward, fear stagnates and freezes us. This is a simple yardstick to help us recognize any place of stagnation in our lives and to make new choices. When we see what has been the true motivating factor behind our decisions, it gives us the power to change things and make it better. And something else takes place. When we consistently choose love over fear, an incredible transformation occurs around us, because light and darkness can’t be in the same place together. They simply cannot exist jointly as one; they are of two different natures. So when we make choices governed by love, a great shifting occurs in our lives, for the better. And conversely, where we see any stagnation in our lives, we will find that was a place where our initial choices were made out of fear, and that no forward movement occurs there, or is very slow and tedious.

What is a choice for love? Let’s say you are looking for a job. There is a job listing for your dream job – you would be doing something that you’ve always wanted to, and even getting paid for it. But the pay is weak, and you are afraid it wouldn’t be enough, and there is no guarantee to know if and when the pay would go up. So you continue to look and find a job listing that will give you above the pay you want, but the hours and location are all wrong, and the job itself is just a job, nothing to be really excited about. Now which one are you going to circle? If your main motivation is fear, you are going to stagnate in a job you don’t like, that no amount of money can make up for. Whereas if you choose the job you love, your joy will be shining through not only in your home life but in your job too. And in an employer’s eyes, who would be more likely to get a raise, the person who tolerates their job or the one who is actually happy to be there? Also, on the spiritual side, God looks to bless those who bravely step out in faith, and all kinds of wonderful and not-so-coincidental opportunities come from that.

With every choice that we make for love, we move ahead on our journey and become brighter. And if darkness tries to move toward light, it either has to transform into light to be near us, or move away even to exist. Nothing harmful is able to stay near us. Nothing. Think of it this way, when we bring a lit candle into a darkened room, look what happens to the room - the entire area transforms, and the area closest to the flame is the brightest. Now, do we have to be afraid that the darkness will overwhelm and put out the candle? No, it doesn’t matter how dark the room is, the darkness can never put out the candle. But, the candle can put itself out. In human terms, this happens when we buy into the ideas of unworthiness, separation and doubt, the ugliness that the darkness tries to convince us that we are part of. But we are not of the darkness, we were created of light, and when we remember this our flame will never go out. It does not matter what darkness tries to imply or manipulate us into thinking. We were created of light and love. And when we remember our true nature it doesn’t matter if we are accepted or rejected by others, because we remember who we are in the eyes of God, at a spirit level. That is where that desire for acceptance and oneness comes from, because we have felt it before we were born, and we want to experience it again, even while we are doing silly human things. Knowing yourself, remembering who you are, is about remembering you are Divinely created, accepted and unconditionally loved every moment of every day.

When we always choose love, it creates a great and vibrant shift around us in our jobs, relationships, even in our personal health. As we have seen, everything has to be positive and loving to be near us or it has to transform or move away. And since our physical health cannot move away from us, every time we make a choice motivated by love we make a choice for good health. Perhaps you have heard of spiritually adept people throughout the world who have exceptionally vibrant and healthy lives well into old age – now you know one reason why.

So how have you been making your life choices? What kind of child were you in elementary school? What about high school? Do you hate some of the memories that come up? Do you blame other people for things that happened to you? Your parents, teachers, friends or bullies? And are you still blaming people now? No matter what choices other people make and what part of their ripple effect we have been in, we can choose to love, forgive, survive, grow and thrive. And we can choose the ripple effect of our own choices to be better than those we have formerly been a part of. When we do this, an active transformation takes place, which is another part of the multi-facets of love. Blame, hate, unforgiveness – all of the negative emotions – are all part of fear. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

When we always choose love, we actively choose our God-given birthright to how our lives are supposed to be, and we feel this deeply in our soul. It is our true and full potential to embrace loving and long-term relationships, financial abundance, and effervescent physical and mental health. With the expanded clarity that comes from advancing in love, we can also more easily identify further opportunities of light around us. This helps us make better decisions by recognizing the Divine interventions of love placed before us, choosing these, and then fully following through with them.

Now in regard to everything else, we must realize that the shifting around us that happens when we always choose love can be initially difficult to witness. Yet, it is for our soul’s greater and highest good, and all those connected with us. When we discern this, it helps us trust and accept the changes taking place. Love is always the better way. That is why trust, bravery and faith is essential to advance forward in love, for fear limits our ability to allow or follow through with changes. Making new choices of love may mean leaving behind our old job, old friends or relationships. Often we yearn for how things should be, and not what they actually were. Many times people stay in situations that are not good for them simply because it is familiar, not because it is good for them. Trusting in love helps us actively step outside of our comfort zone onto new, higher ground. That new ground is where the new world awaits, with new opportunities; and like any explorer traveling to new lands, faith is needed to leave the old things behind. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

In that new world that we find ourselves in, we also find that we are a new person as well, a joyous and more connected and loving one. And we will never find ourselves alone. Our relationships, jobs and everything else around us will be brighter and healthier for us too, for we actively discern the healthier opportunities placed before us – and better yet, even follow through on taking them. And as we continue to expand in light, we become more aware of living a joyous life fully guided by love, and the larger positive ripple effect our interactions have with others. We become aware of our spiritual need. We become aware of prayer. And we become aware that much of what we might have been traditionally taught doesn’t ring true with the essence of our spirit anymore. What then? When you know Love, you know the heart of God. So, like so many saints, philosophers and poets before you, you may be mocked or even persecuted for having your own ideas about love, but if you fearlessly keep yourself on the path of love, nothing thrown at you will matter at all. Plus, your inner peace and confidence will grow, because “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” (1 John 4:16)


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    • Mark Tulin profile image

      Mark Tulin 

      4 years ago from Santa Barbara, California

      Great topic. It is intriguing that there are two main emotions and that we actually have a choice to be in the negative or positive. It is also very interesting that fear is a primary emotion here and not anger. Thanks


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