Luv [sic]... There comes a time, a time in ones walk with the Lord, when they finally understand what must be given in order to receive, perhaps my time has arrived.
The greater understanding has to deal with what we do with our love or our lack of it. God's love is purity, His love is boundless and eternal. But mine, as well as my understanding of love, and especially of His, has limits. "Once there was a way to get back homeward, Once there was a way, to get back home. Sleep pretty darling do not cry and I will sing a lullaby." written by Paul McCartney, and through inspiration of Thomas Dekker's Cradle Song http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/cradle-song-11/
God has given to me an inspiration on how to love, and my vision on what love looks like. Love is not an easy thing to experience in the manner that God is trying to teach us. We have so much of a presence in our own lives; to put another ahead of ourselves, and to die of ourselves that we may gain true life, may have not quite taken a hold in our life just yet. Yet through God, if you are willing, and if you ask Him for understanding through prayer and meditation. He will show you what love is. When that knowledge has been revealed, you will live, and live more abundantly.
Tragedy is a real eye opener
Tragedy, it changes your priorities immediately, and it brings decision. For some, such a trauma may come and close our minds, setting our disposition to an abandonment of hope, but this could be our greatest moment, this could be the best testing of our character and soul.
Now before you consider me to be a lunatic or masochist, consider first that no one will escape pain in their lives. The loss of a spouse, child, relative or friend; the loss of a job, home or health or any other major change in our lives is inevitable. So what can we do to prevent decay of our own hopes and dreams if misfortune lands at our feet? A good starting point would be to become a realist about the cycles in life, and to remember that for those who know only sorrow now, wait patiently, for tomorrow may be a time of great joy! I have waited for knowledge about what to do in my life, and I have had regrets, but just as quickly I shelve them; for the pain I felt in the past, may just consume my tomorrow, if I allow it to live any longer than today.
Consider me a fool if you will, but I can't help feeling that everything that will happen to me, will happen for a good reason. The first moment that I found hope beyond what I knew in this life, I felt loved like no other. This is an indescribably and all encompassing love, that even in my most daunting of tasks; that is moments of showing grace while under attack or times of self-doubt and self-criticism, the One who loves, has seen, been, and done this with selfless motives, has allowed me to apprentice under Him, as His child, and when I at last have understanding, He will bear me a crown, bliss!
Show me how to love
I thought good news came through improvement in our lives, immediately tangible, of better conditions for living in the here and now. Why wait, why can I not experience the love of God today, even now through trying times when needed most?
Then through the lens of painful sorrow, I did see love. God's love had never left me, it had only been rejected by my mind. Through the torment of loss, I felt anger, and then acceptance of circumstance, but I did not feel God. That feeling lingered on for many days, weeks and ...
Then, as in the summer, when the oppressive heat and humidity leave the air after a time of torrent bursting forth from the heavens, I felt His touch once more. His gentle hand and supportive arm were leading me once more. This came to be by searching for Him once more, the blur caused by tears had left my eyes and now I was led by my heart, it ached, and I longed for a return to that place of solace that I had known before.
God's love, right where it had always been, inside my soul, but pushed aside, had returned to lead me once again.