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Monthly Alternative Horoscopes For Children / Teenagers For August

Updated on July 10, 2012

Alternative Monthly Horoscopes For Teenagers in August.

Normal astrology charts do not consider that children have a future which is worth determining let alone mentioning. Alternative horoscopes for teenagers permit teens to enjoy the social implementations that adults have with no restrictions of age.

These alternative childrens horoscopes are surreal, sometimes bizarre, and occasionally really weird as well as cool. They offer the individual a chance or option to control their own life with a helping hand.

The following August horoscopes are blatant, and told as seen by me whilst viewing the night sky above the pig farm. Please also see the disclaimer at the foot of the page.


This month sees you full of vitality, more than usual. Maybe its that admirer that you are trying to impress or just the fact that your fashion sense has just had a much needed overhaul. If you have not updated your style of clothing, then maybe it's about time that you did. Take a good look at yourself, are you a bit scruffy looking, a bit tatty around the edges, and look at those shoes, so last year. SORT IT OUT.

Other than that, your spider senses are tingling in August as this new found vitality is like drinking lots of caffeine and puts a spring in your step. Even your family appear to notice the twinkle in your eye. Whatever you are doing this month should turn out to be excellent for you, so don't mess it up.

Advice for the month: Happy go lucky you will; have an excellent month, but change those clothes and feel proud.

Justin Beaver - Pisces
Justin Beaver - Pisces


Alternative childrens horoscopes this month predict that you may have been slacking a bit on your schoolwork. Sort it out. You need to get this done, once you have caught up you will have time to chat to your friends on face-book and get sore thumbs from texting.

The sky over the pig farm had a mistyness about it yesterday, which means absolutely nothing to me. So this month may be quite boring except for the school term coming to an end. This gives you a much needed break from the hassles at school and time to reflect on having fun for the summer. You are near perfection within yourself, so be happy, you are a good person.

August Horoscopes for kids advice for the month: Finish your work then face-book everyone you know for an excellent summer. Forget school for the holidays and just enjoy yourself.

Arian - Lady Gaga
Arian - Lady Gaga


Stop it. Whatever you are planning to do this month which you know is not right, then don't do it. Simple really. Behave and all will be well.

Your mates may be planning a party sometime and you will be literally the star. Your personality will really shine in ways you never knew you could. If you have a family holiday or vacation booked, then you are in for a wild time, even if you don't think that you are. This years' vacation will be one to remember.

The sky above the pig farm was clear on the night that I predicted your astrology for this month. This may mean that your conscience is clear over a certain matter, or it may mean an excellent summer ahead. A possible slight sibling rivalry appeared in my vision of you, so don't beat up your brother or sister for once.

Advice for the month; Enjoy your vacation and stop hitting the younger kids. Do not be tempted to do something that is not quite right, it could be your downfall.


As per usual, this month you are full of it. Stop going on about how much you have or want, not everyone can have the latest phone. The last time I looked, parents were not made of money.Seriously, they are only flesh and bone, pinch one to find out. If money comes out of them then I was wrong, if they slap you, then I was right.

You appear to be materialistic this month, according to my version of your monthly horoscope for August. You have so much more to offer than just wanting things for yourself, You are an angelic person compared to many others and that is one of your strengths. Be a love this month and help others a bit, the rewards are more fantastic that what you may realize.

Advice for the Month. Stop moaning and get a life, you are a better person that what you think, and others will definitely notice you for all the right reasons.


Horoscopes for teenagers are hard to predict as most of you are stroppy. This month is no different. Your mood swings are impossible and your moaning is worse than listening to a Justin Beaver song repeatedly for 24 hours. Sort it out, stop being miserable and realize that there is more to life than sulking.

Your ability to adapt to situations may be put to the test this month as upheavals seem to approach quite rapidly. Possibly family issues, moving home, or possibly the appearance of spots in abundance all over your face may happen. Not a good month for a moaner, grin and bear it and hope next month is better.

Advice for the month: Stroppy gets nothing, so get your back-side into gear and do something useful or energetic to give your big mouth a rest.


What a rubbish name for a star sign ! If romance is your thing and you are looking for a romantic meeting on holiday or vacation this year, then forget it. You are not that lucky. You will end up with an Ugly Betty lookalike or Jabba The Hut.

Your personal side this month. according to my version of August horoscopes, is not brilliant for romance or relationships, but there is hope. A small chance is there if you play your cards right. Someone you have not noticed before actually likes you, don't ask my why, I have no idea, they just do. People are weird. Just be yourself without trying to hard and let your sophistication ooze from your pores, you will delight others.

Advice for the month: Be yourself and don't get into a relationship with a fat star man or an ugly human. Just let things happen the way they are intended and all will be great.


Leo the lion whose roar is usually enough to shake the ground people walk on. I said usually, lately, according to the night sky above the smelly pig farm, your roar appears to of become more of a whimper. You seem to be getting a bit more shy for some reason. maybe you have done something that you are not proud of. If so, bring it out into the open and all will be sorted and even forgiven.

If a dream is worrying you, and you believe in the power of dreams, then go for a free dream meaning to satisfy your own conscience. Get the free one, not one which you have to pay for. A call, letter, email, or face-book message brings good news. Take the chance to enjoy an invitation.

Teenagers Horoscopes for August: Don't dwell on something that has happened, let it all come out and enjoy your life. Dream away and see what it means for you and watch out for good news.


Are you ever going to tidy your room properly??? Messy must be your middle name. Have you ever tried washing up, vacuuming or washing clothes. The August horoscopes for kids depicts that although you are dead scruffy, you are loved like no other child. Amazing. Your doting family adore your angelicness and your number of friends will swell this month. Just don't let them see your bedroom.

Apart from trying to be a nocturnal child, your month is going to be quite exciting for you. Late nights with games or TV, face-book is buzzing on your behalf, and your popularity is increasing. The summer holidays are looming and your plans are exciting you, as well as plans yet to unfold that you don't know of.

Teenagers Horoscopes Advice for the month: Help around the home on occasions and don't get lost in that pile of rubbish in your room. Summer vacations are great and you will have more friends than you know what to do with.


If you can drag yourself out of bed this month over the weekends, you may be surprised to find that there is a different world out there. A new you may emerge into the sunlight and discover that the world has a lot to offer a person of your calibre. According to the sky above the local pig farm, you month will be very energetic.

Future plans, even for next week, are being made as end of term parties and plans are being made for vacations as well as meeting with friends. There may be a slight romance on the cards with someone you have your eye on, but beware of their previous partner. Wear something green for good luck on a trip or adventure into the unknown.

Advice for the month: Beware of jealous ex-boy or girls friends and get yourself out of bed before 10am on a weekend for once. Plan ahead for a great time and be as energetic as possible.

Scorpio - Rihanna
Scorpio - Rihanna


This is the best, most fantastic, and amazing star sign of the zodiac. I know this because I am also a Scorpion. The sky above the pig farm showed me a green-ish haze, which may mean a fresh start. A possible home move, new school, or even just a new boy or girl friend are coming. There is something happening to you or a member of the family which will mean some kind of a move.

Even though you are still young, beauty is skin deep, and you may need to do something about your personal hygiene or skin complexion. Eternal youth is not available at the local stores so look after your body now, it won't last forever and you don't want to stink. Work related items are on your list. I have no idea why as you are to young, but they are there. Could be parental pressure, a baby sitting job, or simply extra chores, but with your positive attitude you will be fantastic at all of it.

Alternative Teenager Horoscopes Advice for the Month: Be positive even whilst sitting on babies. Keep that youthful appearance before your skin sags and you look like a Great Granny before your time with wrinkles as deep as the Grand Canyon.


Take a good look in the mirror. Are you happy with yourself? Many people around you think that you are near perfect. But you seem to have a problem with yourself. Don't be silly. As a person, you are quite magical. You have hidden depth which will surface sooner rather than later, then people will be coming to you for advice and help. You are really cool, maybe you just don't know it.

Take a bit of me time and enjoy yourself to the max. Go out and shop till you drop with what money you have. Retail therapy can be good but don't overspend, it is the holiday season for trips and you may need a bit of extra cash for special occasions. Be careful of strange offerings and people, nothing is to good to be true.

Advice for the month: Use your judgement on shopping and people, be warned of the latter. Be yourself and you will grow into a butterfly from your cocoon state. ( Not literally a butterfly, you aint going to grow wings and flutter away ).

Kate Moss - Capricorn
Kate Moss - Capricorn


Temptations this month are everywhere. Some are good, and some are not so good, please avoid the not so good ones. A little bit of money comes your way this month, which is always good, but it won't last long as you know you spend to much. Other than that you may feel lethargic ( lazy ) in the mornings, which is typical, but that is just you.

You have an ability to understand people, and you may be called upon to help sort out a friends problems, be nice and smile, even if the advice you are offering is not heartfelt. Learning how to cook is always adventageous, try it. There is no new romance on the cards but you will get admiration from someone whom you do not wish to be romantic with.

Advice for the month: Don't be tempted into wrong doing whilst enjoying a lazy morning. A friend in need is a pain in the back-side, but be your usual smiling self, or at least pretend to be.


The above written August monthly horoscopes are about as real as the Easter Bunny dropping eggs through my front door at Easter. I have no astrologically inclined diplomas, qualifications, or even the slightest interest in what lies beyond the moon.

The horoscopes are simply designed to be fun with a slight humorous side and nothing more

Thank you.


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