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My 100th Hub And My Take on Life and Death

Updated on March 23, 2014

The Proverbial Pearly Gates

10 Months on Hubpages


Well it has been 10 months since I joined Hubpages, and it has been a very interesting and enjoyable experience to say the least. I figured out quick that I should stay away from Religion and Politics, as they brought out the worst in me as well as in some others that were commenting on my hubs. So it really surprises me that for my 100th hub, I am writing about Religion, not so much Religion per se but life and death and how a certain hub affected me recently.

An Atheist's Perspective

BaileyBear wrote an interesting hub called Death-An Atheist’s Perspective and it got me to thinking about life and death, and religion, and my feelings about each of these topics, as well as how I feel about heaven and hell. .

I guess you could say that I have been confused for quite some time as far as life and death goes, and what comes after death. I certainly don’t mean any disrespect to anyone’s religion when I say that I have always had a problem with organized religion and was never a big believer in going to church, or the importance of it.

Beginnings with my mother.

I grew up with a mother who was and still is a very religious person, and that maybe the reason for some of the feelings that I have for religion now. From the time that I can remember, my mother was taking my siblings and I to church and I remember dreading going every Sunday. I just would never get anything out of it and actually can go as far as saying that I hated going altogether.

I raised my children as Catholics because my ex-husband was Catholic and I he really was the one to want to raise my children with one religion and not have them confused about different religions, thinking that as they got older they would make up their own mind about their religious views anyway, which is what happened.


Now I’m not going to go as far as saying that I am an atheist, as that would probably put my mother in the grave along with a couple of my sisters, but I have always had the feeling that there is nothing at the end of our lives. That when we finally die, we go into a nothingness that is just an eternal sleep, and the importance and the point to our lives is what we make of it here on earth. BaileyBear said pretty much the same thing in her fantastic hub, she laid out a pretty good argument about why it isn’t so horrible to think about there actually being nothing when we die.

I don’t understand why it is hard for some people and mostly Christians to believe or contemplate that there may not be a heaven or hell, as the two seem to go hand in hand. I guess you could say that it is a comfort of sorts to me to think that maybe there isn’t anywhere to go but to ashes when we die. I mean we aren’t going to know one way or another, right? Of course there is always that argument about isn’t it better to believe in heaven and hell just in case they exist? That may be true, but how many people believe in heaven and hell only because they are afraid not to, and is that truly, sincerely believing? Sometimes to me it doesn’t seem sincere when people are worrying about whether they are going to heaven or hell and at the same time are committing the most heinous sins.

A Soul Brought to Heaven  William-Adolph Bouguereau
A Soul Brought to Heaven William-Adolph Bouguereau | Source

Heaven and Hell

I grew up watching a mother who even while in her 40’s had always been waiting for the time when she is finally to die and to be taken to heaven. So in a sense she has been living to die for so many years. She is 76 now and still only lives for the day that she will die, because of course she will go to heaven of which she is positive that she will be reunited with her loved ones. To me this is fine if she believes this and for her sake I hope its true for her, but what if its not true? {And to tell the truth there are many people that I didn’t care for on earth, so why would I want to see them in heaven}?

What I’m trying to say is that she has been living for the time when God will finally take her home and in the meantime she has missed the entire meaning of living! I don’t recall her being the kind of person that enjoys anything really, she never wants to travel, or see places that require her leaving her own back yard, and that has always left me perplexed. For someone who has so much faith, as she claims to have, she never even seemed to get any pleasure of even being alive. To her anything that was pleasurable was considered a sin. Laughing too much, dancing, music that wasn’t religious, even drinking a small glass of wine.

The Damned  Signorelli Luca
The Damned Signorelli Luca | Source

I think that for the most part I am more like my father in his spiritual views. He was raised Catholic but he wasn’t a practicing Catholic by any stretch of the imagination, and would always give my mother a hard time about her religious views, in a teasing sort of way of course. But I do remember when my father was dying and how important it was for my mother for my father to give his life to Christ before he gave up the ghost and to be “saved”. I remember my dad doing this on his death bed before he died, and I have always suspected that he did it not because he was frightened that God would throw him into the depths of hell, but to placate my mother so that she wouldn’t spend the rest of her life thinking that my father was burning in hell. I think it was a very unselfish thing for my father to do for my mother.

That’s another thing that I have always had trouble with, getting thrown into hell for my sins. I have always wondered why a God would want to throw any of his children in hell for any of their sins. I have a very hard time with this one because I have often heard that God needs to punish us, the way we as parents punish our children, but there isn’t anything my children could do that I would want to punish them by burning them for eternity. It doesn’t make sense to me and I guess it never will.

Don’t get me wrong, I have always been on the fence on this, I have had spiritual experiences that I have not been able to explain and I do believe that Jesus was a man and prophet that died on the cross, but there are just so many other things that do not make sense to me, especially the heaven and hell thing. Maybe there is a God and maybe he made us but maybe that’s where it stops and there is no heaven or hell! Because as BailyBear put it, what’s the point of heaven? Wouldn’t everything eventually get boring anyway? I loved that line of hers.

I used to be afraid to die and I’m not afraid anymore, sometimes I feel like I am more afraid to live than anything else, because of so many bad things that can happen to a person in this life. I guess I’m more afraid of how I will die than the actually being dead, and maybe this is where many people have problems too, and that is understandable. But it really isn’t a problem for me to think of myself of dying and going into a nothingness forever. If I lead a good life, experience all that I want to experience and enjoy my children and grandchildren, and most importantly do not have regrets, (and if I do have regrets, I would work them out before I died), then it just doesn’t bother me to think of leaving this world.

I guess until the end of time this will be an argument that no one will truly know or understand until they are dead, but in the meantime I have made up my mind to not worry about what comes after. I feel like I am being the best possible person while on earth, of course there is always room for improvement and hopefully as I get older, I can finally be the person that I have always wanted to be. In the meantime, I try to enjoy life, enjoy my children and husband and my family. And definitely I want to be able to experience as much as possible in this world, and stop once in while to smell the roses, and I so wish that my mother would as well.

Hubber Friends

Also as an aside, I would like to thank all my hubber friends for giving me such an enjoyable time here on hub pages. When I started, I never dreamed of having 10 hubs much less 100, and although I am not as prolific as some of the fantastic writers here on hub pages, I appreciate the friendships, the feedbacks and the encouragements from all of my friends, and there are truly too many to mention. I do however feel like I need to mention De Greek, only because I have been picking on him forever in my hubs and I want him to know that its only because I respect him very much and his humor, and I definitely never mean anything mean spirited.

Also since I joined the Hubpages Elite group as a greeter, I have made many great new friends, and hopefully many more to come.

I would also like to thank my sisters:

Whidbey writer



And my husband who is also a writer here on Hubpages and whom you probably have on your friend list as he is a fantastic writer, but because he is rather shy and doesn’t want to appear biased when he gives feedback on my hubs, he wants to remain anonymous. Thanks to all my family for putting up with my crazy hubs and crazy moods. And as this hub has proved, I will write about anything! I LOVE YOU ALL!!

© 2010 ladyjane1


Submit a Comment

  • Linda Compton profile image

    Linda Compton 

    6 years ago from The Land of Enchantment

    Dear LJ,

    This is the first hub of yours I've read. Let me say right off, congratulations on your super hub-accomplishments!

    I think this hub is so poignant and sincere and forthright, and it touched my heart. The story of your father's thoughtful "gift" to your mother was deeply moving, and I think your notion of parenthood is closer to my understanding of our "heavenly Father" than a lot of what is proclaimed in churches. Love trumps punishment every time, just as mercy trumps judgement.

    Thanks for your thoughtful reflections. Cheer, Linda

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    moncrieff thanks for reading my hub and for your nice thoughts. Cheers.

  • moncrieff profile image


    7 years ago from New York, NY

    Great thoughts! I admire you for your quest of harmony and accept my belated congratulations on your 100th hub.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    James thanks for your very insightful comment to this hub. I guess lately I have been feeling like I have lost a lot of the faith that I used to feel and I need a way to get back on the straight and is still hard for me to think of God throwing people into hell and thats the part that has me perplexed. I used my mother as an example because it seems like she lived for God yes but she didn't seem to enjoy her life or find any pleasure in small things. This is why I feel bad for her. At any rate I appreciate your point of view. Cheers to you James.

  • James A Watkins profile image

    James A Watkins 

    7 years ago from Chicago

    I go to church in spurts. There are three reasons for church. One, is to honor and thank and worship God. Two is to learn or be touched by God. Three is for the sake of community.

    I hope your mom didn't really miss the meaning of living—which is not pleasure but to serve God and serve your fellow man. Pleasure is certainly not a sin. Pleasure has parameters, which are not set for God's sake but for your own good.

    Hell is often misunderstood. Rightfully understood, it is exactly what you expect—nothingness. Those who reject God will be burned up and be no more. Heaven is the opposite of boring. It is everything you have ever dreamed of and far more. Everlasting joy and peace and love.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    AngelTrader thanks for your very insightful comment. I am definitely trying to live my life in this manner. Cheers.

  • AngelTrader profile image


    7 years ago from New Zealand

    Live each day separate from the past and with no expectations of the future. Only at this moment can you affect the reality you live in. From each moment an infinite number of possibilities arise!

    We are eternal etheric beings whose purpose on Earth is to grow and develop with the ultimate aim of reuniting with the One Universal Consciousness.

    And Beverly is right don't worry about the afterlife, rather learn to open your heart, act with compassion and develop empathy.

    Love and Light.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Beverly thanks for reading and giving your thoughtful insight into this issue. I honestly don't know whats to come after our life is over but I do agree with you that more people should concern themselves with what is going on in their lives right now and live their life as if there is no tomorrow and really appreciate what we have. I wish my mother could do that as well. THanks for sharing. Cheers.

  • Beverly Stevens profile image

    Beverly Stevens 

    7 years ago from College Station

    Good hub--very well thought out. My mother also looks for death for things to be better. It's just crazy. Unfortunately, too many people don't want to think or live their lives today. They want some crazy preacher or preist telling them what to do. The only life we know that actually exists, exists now. We should live this life well without worrying about a fairytale afterlife--how absurd! Thanks for posting this.

  • Fossillady profile image


    7 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

    I'm certain its your father saying hello from where he is. We can never know exactly what it's like, but I hear it's unimaginably better up there and look forward to seeing Joe again when my times up! Joe knew he was going to die cause of cancer and he used to say the same thing, that we are energy and he believed he would live on. Neither one of us was religious, even though he was brought up Catholic, like yourself. When he could drive, instead of going to catechism, he would take his little brother to the donut shop, then grab the service schedule on the way home to show his parents. lol! Peace and love!

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Fossillady you warmed my heart with your comment. I guess part of me wants desperately to believe in heaven and part of me says its nonsense but I have had experiences as well when it comes to people who have passed away such as my father and swear that he comes to me in dreams. I am open to the idea that we are all just energy and energy never goes away even when we die so when we die I like to think of our energies all around the ones we love and perhaps some of us are more susceptible to feeling the energy around us if that makes any sense. Cheers to you for reading and understanding my point of view. Happy New Year. Oh and I am sorry that you lost Joe.

  • Fossillady profile image


    7 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

    Hello ladyjane1! Read most of the comments, tried to read all the comments, but too many, too little time. It's obvious you opened up a can of worms for a great discussion. I did not grow up with religion crammed down my throat so I was free to believe what I wanted. That's been a wonderful blessing. I too always doubted the idea of hell. It didn't make sense that a loving God would send his son's and daughter to a place so horrible to live out the rest of their existence for a few measly mistakes on Earth! Do we do that to our own children, don't we try to match the consequences with the crimes? I feel sorry for God that people think he's that unforgiving! He just wants us to know his love that lies right there inside us,if we just shut up long enough to listen! My dearest husband of 25 years died a year ago, I've thought hard about my own death cause of it and it brought me to do a lot of soul searching. I actually got down on my knees and asked God to know him better. It's been an awakening experience ever since. In my heart I know we go back home after death. I've heard so many stories from people who felt bad for me for losing my dear husband Joe and so shared how thier loved ones came to them from beyond; in more ways than one. It opened me up to that idea, well I already was open to it, but I wanted it for myself. I wanted to see Joe one more time. I'll tell you bout it some time! Anyway, my heart goes out to you! I understand you're searching for answers. How do you obtain them if you don't ask, right! Congratulations on 100 hubs! Wow! Keep writing, you're very good at it!

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    lifeplanner thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate the feedback and its nice that you are so comfortable with your beliefs and that you have so much faith. Perhaps I will get there someday. Cheers.

  • lifeplanner profile image


    7 years ago from California

    I want to join in the conversation and share my perspective. I certainly believe in living your best life now. That being said, because of occurrences in my life, I know there is something beyond what we see on this earth. I'm not saying it's anything like what most traditional churches preach but honey the fact that I'm still alive after all I've been through (and writing this) is evidence enough for me!

    Also, I practice a metaphysical faith which has been a lot more practical and life changing than the traditional practice I was raised with. Think the Movie The Secret. Michael Beckwith is a very well-known leader in my spiritual community.

    Thanks for becoming a fan. You've inspired me to write another Hub!

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Eiddwen thanks for stopping by, I appreciate your feedback. Thanks for adding me to your list cheers.

  • Eiddwen profile image


    7 years ago from Wales

    Congratulations on your 100th great and well written hub. I now look forward to reading more of your work.

    Thank you so much for sharing and take care.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    tonymac04 thanks for visiting my hub and for the nice feedback. Love and peace to you too. Cheers.

  • tonymac04 profile image

    Tony McGregor 

    7 years ago from South Africa

    Great Hub and congrats on your 100th! Thanks for sharing such interesting thoughts and so gracefully!

    Love and peace


  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    alphonsians93 thanks for your nice commnents and for giving us your opionion.!!!!

  • alphonsians93 profile image


    7 years ago from Cebu Philippines

    wonderful hub! Congratulations you reached 100th. I am a Roman Catholic and I do believe that there is life after death and everything we have right on this world is owned by the supreme being.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Tom thanks for reading, I am happy to read your hubs about your experience, you really peaked my interest. I find it fascinating when I hear about after death experiences and it seems that many many people almost say the exact thing about it. I died for a few seconds as well when I had open heart surgery to remove a large tumor in my heart about 9 years ago but I didn't see anything. But I am interested in your experience. Thanks again for giving your opinion and your nice comment. Cheers.

  • tom hellert profile image

    tom hellert 

    7 years ago from home


    nBeing a person who has died gives me a different perprective than ANYONE ELSE HERE.... I take offense to what Jonl D said- I WAS legally DEAd- (see my 3 part series on that) I saw what there is after all this. Joni may call me a LIAR but- I know what I saw and i take offnse toher assertion nd let me sy ths the more I read accounts of post death descriptions the MORE I believe what I saw and FELT!!!

    I do not expect anyone to suddenly believe in heven becuse I said so but i would just say i saw what i saw and felt what I felt I m that I am and thats all that I am.. ( I realize i am quoting Popey the sailor0 but if the shoe fits - buy the other one...

    Your Pal


  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Lisa thanks for stopping by and for your very insightful comment. Its nice to have such faith as yours. And it is nice to also have a choice of what we believe, I honestly wish that I could have so much faith as you and it seems at one time I did, I guess things change. Perhaps they will change again. Thanks for your honestly as well. Cheers to you.

  • Lisa M Smith profile image

    Lisa Smith 

    7 years ago from Coupeville, WA

    Hello Ladyjane. Congratulations on your 100th hub. I admire your writing and being so honest in your feelings and doubts. It takes a lot of courage to admit to having doubts and feelings that go against the grain of society's thoughts. Isn't it wonderful that we all have the CHOICE to believe what we want to believe? I believe that my spirit will live on after my body is worn out and dead. I have FAITH in that. It gives me peace. I think that life is a great adventure and I plan on living mine to the fullest. I know that my spirit will have another great adventure when it leaves this earth. Our thoughts and beliefs are what makes each of us unique. It wouldn't do for all of us to be the same. I think it would be a very boring place for all of us to have the same opinions. So, I applaud you for having the courage to be you and to make your thoughts known. I look forward to reading more of your hubs. Happy Thanksgiving.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Hey sis thanks for reading this hub. Yes it is my 100th hub and it was a long time coming and I never thought that I would make it. I know how you feel about life after death and thats fine. And I didn't mean to insinuate that mother has not had a good life, its just that I wish that she sometimes would enjoy her life more as it seems that she has a one track mind when it comes to religion, God, life after death and our sins. For her sake I hope there is a heaven. Cheers to you sis LOve

  • Whidbeywriter profile image

    Mary Gaines 

    7 years ago from Oak Harbor on Whidbey Island, Washington

    Hi sis, I know I am very late here to say Congrats on your 100th hub! Wow what a great accomplishment - and what a wonderful writer you are. I too really admire your honesty on this hub. You are right we will never really know whether there is a hell or heaven. I believe we should live our life to the fullest and enjoy what God has given us to do on this earth. But of course I believe that because of Jesus we will have eternal life after this life on earth. I understand what you are saying about mom and believe me I too wish that she would have tried living a more fulfilling life. I think she gave up when dad died. I spent some quality time with her this trip to Texas and we enjoyed each other very much. I was encouraged by my mother from her prayers and I believe it was her prayers to God that changed me from the person I used to be, which was in a direction away from God. Isn't it funny how we can perceive our own mother so differently. I too remember going to church and not enjoying it, but she wanted us to know Jesus. I guess I choose to believe the best in her and see the good she has done by her prayers for others at all times of the day and night sometimes. She chose her life the way it is and maybe that is all that she wants to do to be happy. But she does have her moments......:) You are a great writer sis - blessings.

  • profile image


    7 years ago

    You have got yourself a deal ; ) x

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    TattoGuy hey great to see you pal, I hardly ever recognize you anymore and Im also sorry that I havent been around as much Im afraid I have been the selfish hubber but its great to see you again. Dont be a stranger and I shall not be as well. Cheers to you love.

  • profile image


    7 years ago

    Happy 100th Hub to one of my fav hubbers and well someone I also regard as a friend on here over the last year. I look forward to the next 100 and sorry for not passing my congrats on sooner, I am a lazy git, loves ya xoxo

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Mickey thanks for reading my hub and for your great comments. Thanks for the blessing, right back at ya...Cheers.

    Cheeky Girl thanks for visiting and Im glad that you found it interesting, hubs like this are hard to write for me because I feel like I am opening myself up to criticism and judgements but it kinda just flowed out of me.

  • Cheeky Girl profile image

    Cassandra Mantis 

    7 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

    Congrats on the 100th Hub! It's an interesting take on Death. Quite introspective, and that is nice to see here. We need more hubs like this. This made me really think! Thank you! :)

  • Micky Dee profile image

    Micky Dee 

    7 years ago

    Congrats! I admire your honesty. Nobody "knows" what the future will be. For some this has been heel enough. The Golden Rule transcends all religions and all laws. Every religion has that rule and my atheists friends abide by it whether they know it or not. I find it repugnant for religions or religious folks to send people to hell. That is not their job. That would be God's alone. And God is so big, God can change God's mind. Hey- God bless my Lady Jane! Whether you need it or not!

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Lita thanks for reading, I agree with you that we should live life and accept it as a gift. Thanks for your nice compliment. Cheers.

  • Lita C. Malicdem profile image

    Lita C. Malicdem 

    7 years ago from Philippines

    As a child, my Roman Catholic religion, taught me to believe that there's Heaven and Hell and that to end up in heaven you have to be good, otherwise, if you are bad you end up in flames and with eternal gnashing of teeth in hell.

    I'm not devout but I accept death as a gift, not punishment. So I just live today as if tomorrow I will die. I have my ready burial memorial side-by-side with my husband. I'm not afraid of death, but the probable cause of death- sin. You have a gift with words. You make it sound light for me that when my time is up, it's up. Nice hub!

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Katiem2 thanks for reading my hub. I find it interesting that you were not afraid of death as a child and its neat that you thought of it as an adventure, I guess that is what life is supposed to be about so why not death? Great comments thanks for visiting. Cheers.

  • katiem2 profile image


    7 years ago from I'm outta here

    It certainly is interesting the differences of opinion. I always say, others opinions of me are none of my business. I have no need to be in a church. I will say this, from the time I was a small child I was not concerned or afraid of death in any regard as I had this knowing that it would be just another adventure. Death is not for the here and now, I have so many better things to do and yet I can imagine a day when I grow so tired, to tired in fact and long to just drift off to sleep... Peace :)

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Christopher thanks for commenting, sorry it took so long but I missed this one for some reason. I do agree with you about my mother. I wish that she could open her eyes and realize that she only gets one turn at this life and she has spent most of her time just thinking about death and what comes after. And I cant blame her for how I believe anymore I do have my own mind and I do make my own decisions but there seems to be some influence from her in that respect and it has played a more important role in my life than I ever thought. Anyway, who knows what comes after its my life that I should be concerned with. Thanks for your very insightful comments.Cheers.

  • Christopher Price profile image

    Christopher Price 

    7 years ago from Vermont, USA

    Better late than never, I must congratulate you on your milestone.

    I am browsing my way through some of your 100 hubs and enjoying it very much.

    BTW, although some people consider it a cop out, there is nothing wrong with labeling yourself an agnostic. Humans are naturally curious and questioning, and whether we were made this way or evolved may be debated, Declining to pick a side until all evidence is in, is just being prudent.

    I'm glad you have chosen not to follow your mother's example. Someone should tell her that the saying "live each day as if it is your last" doesn't mean you should set out your casket clothes and neglect shopping for enough groceries to last the week!



  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    electrcsky thanks for reading my hub, however I never said that I was an athiest, these are just some thoughts that I have been dealing with as far as life and death and heaven and hell. Thanks for stopping by. Cheers.

  • electricsky profile image


    7 years ago from North Georgia

    To say one is an atheistic is to ignore all the evidence around us - when we see a stop sign, or a street lamp or a road we instinctively know these things didn't happen by chance, but were made by design but then a human being who is infinitely more complex than a stop sign just happened by chance. Well that takes some faith!

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Nell I so understand what you mean because there are days that I am really torn as well about the hereafter and sometimes it makes sense that we just go nowhere but then there are those days that I think to myself that there has to be a higher puropose for living and dying then just to go into the dirt and be done with it. And I understand completely about thinking who the heck am I, not my physical being but my soul and how did I get from where I was (if I was anywhere before) to here. Sometimes I can go into a panic attack just thinking about the deepness of it. Im glad Im not the only one that thinks this way, thanks for reading. Cheers.

    Denise thanks for your very nice comments and I try not to make too many judgements on people and their beliefs even if they are different than my own and I wanted to express my feelings about how confused I am at times, life and death and the afterlife, its very exhausting thinking about, much less making sense of it all, thanks again for visiting and I shall check out your hubs. Cheers.

  • Denise Handlon profile image

    Denise Handlon 

    7 years ago from North Carolina

    Congratulations on reaching that 100 mark. I really enjoyed reading this hub. You bring the reader from the beginning of your religious influences, starting with why you wrote the hub, to your present day feelings about death and dying. Beautiful. If interested I have a recent hub about Silence and being in the abyss which likens itself to a permanent emptiness. Thanks for sharing your views and again, congratulations.

  • Nell Rose profile image

    Nell Rose 

    7 years ago from England

    Hi, Congrats on your 100th! I am nearly there, but never seem to have enough time in the day to do more! but I totally agree with you about everyone one here being so special, it has certainly got me hooked! I totally understand what you mean about life after death, I sometimes wish I had the faith in a religion that somepeople do, I sometimes feel left out! but I am like you, I question and I question. The thing is with me is that I go round in a circle, first of all I say, no I don't believe we go anywhere, then I say, 'well I don't remember where I was before I was born, so surely I would if there was a Heaven or someplace like it' I think people forget that bit. I wasn't here fifty two years ago! so If I have a soul or came from Heaven, why can't I remember it? then I do the one thing that gets me totally confused again, I look at 'me'. I suddenly think, 'where did 'I' come from? the me that looks out of these eyes, the me that is sitting at this computer, not the physical me, but the concious me. we are all unique, how did we get here? not genetics as I say, but that chemical and electrical field in our brain that makes us 'us'? I know it can be quite complicated to understand what I am trying to say, but if you sit on your own for a while and just think, it can get quite scary! so, at the end of it all I am just one word, confused! lol maybe there is more to heaven and earth that we will ever know, great hub rated up cheers nell

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    geegee thanks for reading and Im glad you understand and I too remember the last night you were here with us and we were looking up at the stars and talking about the universe and all that jazz and we werent even drinking lol. Ahh good times, thanks for reading as always,love ya sis. Cheers.

  • geegee77 profile image


    7 years ago from The Lone Star State!!

    Happy 100th hub! First of all I want to say I understand your feelings about everything in your hub, I also remember having this same conversation with you outside on the front porch the last nite before I left Missouri, it is very confusing and I too wonder about the afterlife. I guess all we can do is try to live the best life we have while were still in this world as you say, enjoying the beauty of this awsome place. And of course our kids and grandkids and family. Great hub and I can't wait for #101 love ya sis :) ge

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    breakfastpop thanks for readind your feedback is always appreciated. Cheers.

  • breakfastpop profile image


    7 years ago

    Congratulations and thank you for a very thoughtful and interesting piece of writing.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Loriamoor thanks for reading, and I know what you are saying because I have heard it all my life. And I know about "getting saved", there are just too many inconstistancies that I dont agree with and its not so much that I dont understand them but I just dont agree with them. THanks for reading, cheers to you for always reading my hubs :)

  • profile image


    7 years ago

    Happy 100th Hub! Many people, for example my mother, don't understand the whole Christian thing or Heaven thing. She thinks that if you're "a good person" you go to Heaven, although she doesn't realize the subjectivity of what being a "good person" entails. For Christians (I am one), we believe that the only way one enters Heaven is to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Yes, it certainly does lead to confusion, controversy, and argument. Good hub.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Mike so nice to see you on my hub and I appreciate your very nice comments. Cheers.

    dealrocker thanks for visitng and for your nice comment. I appreciate it cheers.

    Greenlotus thanks for visiting, I feel you are giving me way too much credit here but it is appreciated, cheers to you.

    Saddlerider what a wicked awesome thing to say to me. I so appreciate your comments and I am always happy to see you on my hubs. I also make it a practice to stay away from those topics and this will be the last. Cheers and thank you.

  • saddlerider1 profile image


    7 years ago

    I also echo everyone's sentiments on your reaching your 100th hub. You are a very interesting creative brilliant writer and I am honored to be one of your friends.

    What you have written, I follow your views, I to have struggled most of my life with religion and it's controversy and complexities.

    I am more a spiritual person than religious and like Mike Lickteig and a few others, keep my thoughts out of the religious and political arena's on the Hubs. Least I get myself in trouble:0)

    Thank you for sharing what many often wonder about. Peace and hugs

  • Green Lotus profile image


    7 years ago from Atlanta, GA

    Congratulations on reaching your 100th Hub and for presenting this powerful article. I know what it's like for people to question your views on life, death, god and spirituality and it takes both conviction and a bit of gumption and communication skills to dare to share personal beliefs that are not mainstream. Well done and keep up the good work.

  • dealrocker profile image


    7 years ago from California

    Hi ladyjane! First of all congrats for your 100th hub. Now coming to your hub. I liked these lines. "That’s another thing that ......... burning them for eternity." I agree on what you say and appreciate your thoughts. A very nicely written hub. Well done and keep it up!

  • Mike Lickteig profile image

    Mike Lickteig 

    7 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

    Congratulations on your 100th hub. Your work is always well-written and thought-provoking. I have resolved to refrain from voicing my opinion on political or religious topics, but I applaud your ability to write about God, religion and faith in a non-judgmental way. Once again, congratulations.


  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Drbj always great to see you and thank you. Sometimes it is kind of scarey to write about personal things on here but it always makes me feel better. Cheers pal.

    Joni thanks for reading and I appreciate your nice comments and your views. Cheers.

    nifty thanks for reading, for some reason church doesnt work for me, I have tryed many times and I have had some great moments in church but still doesn't answer my questions or fill that deep down doubt. Cheers to you for visiting.

    Wayne thanks for reading and I agree with what you say, faith is very personal and I also agree with the money thing. There are way too many preachers on t.v who talk about making money and how its okay to pray for wealth and I remember thinking, "when did that change"? I seem to remember reading somewhere in the bible about how hard it is for a wealthy man to get into heaven...not that Im saying wealth is a sin but just living for wealth used to be if I recall. Anyway, cheers and thank you.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    De Greek thanks for reading and I dont know about the Christian Athiest thing but its pretty funny and you are clever. Cheers.

    Martie what a nice comment and thanks for the hug, I like your way of thinking and I agree with you as well. And I was mortified when I found out about Santa too. Cheers.

    Stan great to see you and I know what you mean about faith, it seems some days I have much faith and then before I know it it slips through my fingers, I just have so many doubts about so many things. Thanks for reading Cheers.

  • Wayne Brown profile image

    Wayne Brown 

    7 years ago from Texas

    Thumbs up on 100! Faith is such a personal thing and shaped pretty much in our own or many cases how we were raised. Without 'faith' I think many people would just go insane trying to anticipate the hereafter if any. I believe religion long ago became the first bastion of political correctness daring those who would speak out or express doubt. One of the big turnoffs for is that far too many activities associated with religion quickly move to the subject of money. Thanks for sharing a well thought out and well expressed hub...I love your "matter of fact" style and delivery. WB

  • nifty@50 profile image


    7 years ago

    Congratulations on your 100th hub! Your advice about avoiding religion & politics is sound, and one I try to follow myself! I think even very religious people struggle with their faith, going to church regularly helps.

  • Joni Douglas profile image

    Joni Douglas 

    7 years ago

    Congrats on your 100th hub. Well done on this hub. We all have doubts and questions. As a firm believer in God's love, I'll leave the afterlife questions to Him. Anyone else claiming to be an expert on the afterlife is lying.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    BaileyBear thanks for reading and do not underestimate the power of your hub, it did inspire me and will inspire others Im sure of it. As for the person who asked you the question in the first place, Im sure that they only commented the way they did because you made a lot of sense in your hub and it rocked their smug world, so Im sure it was depressing for them to have to think about a different view. Thanks for sharing your views with us all and thanks for linking, cheers to you.

  • drbj profile image

    drbj and sherry 

    7 years ago from south Florida

    Congrats, ladyjane, on your 100th hub and for having the strength to write what is in your heart and mind.

  • Stan Fletcher profile image

    Stan Fletcher 

    7 years ago from Nashville, TN

    This was well-written and echoes the thoughts of many. Faith is something that I have in very short supply these days. I'm open to it. I just have many more questions than answers.

  • MartieCoetser profile image

    Martie Coetser 

    7 years ago from South Africa

    LadyJane, you are such a lovable person. For me a cousin in cyberspace. I am sure the most of us think like you about heaven and hell, but we just don’t share our thoughts, for we don’t want to upset our mothers, sisters, children and all the people we care for and even those we don’t care for. We want people to be happy and contented. You have shared your thoughts about this in such a humble – almost sad – manner.

    You reminded me of myself when I was 5, when I realized the Christmas father who fall down our chimney was my own father. Nobody wanted to believe me – they said I was wrong – but I KNEW it was him, although I could not prove it, and yes, I tried to convince myself that I was wrong. I was so sad.... Sad because what I thought was real, turned out to be (perhaps) not real. Still, when I remember that rude awakening, I feel that sadness all over again, which I still can’t put into words.

    I’m sending you a hug, and one of my thoughts I prefer to cherish - When we look around us, we see and hear many-many things that can’t be explained. Mysterious things. Nobody (still living) really knows what lies beyond the grave. Of course not a heaven with silver houses and golden streets and a hell of fire, but perhaps we’ll be part of the positive (or negative) forces in the air – without even knowing it. Nothing that exists disappears completely after death. Dust we were and dust we shall become again. Perhaps stardust? Perhaps some nourishment for trees and shrubs... Fact is, we have only one life like the wonderful one we have now. So let’s make the best of it. Shalom!

  • De Greek profile image

    De Greek 

    7 years ago from UK

    You are a THINKING, intelligent person and I am glad to know you and to be your fan. :-)

    And a piece of advice from one atheist to another. Always say that you are a "Christian Atheist". That way you reduce the shock to the loved ones :-)))

  • profile image


    7 years ago

    Congratulations on your 100th hub. I have a way to go (I'm up to about 20 in 4 months), but have reached a new milestone of 10k views.

    The death hub was an unexpected one for me to write - I wrote it because a christian asked the "what if.." question. Then they summed the hub up as "so depressing" - can't win! Will link. Glad it inspired some people.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    mwatkins thanks for reading, and you are right no matter what happens tomorrow,today is a gift,cheers.

    gypsy willow thanks for reading and this hub is quite uninhibitied for me actually and was rather hard for me to write. And I agree with you about the funeral, my father looked like an empty shell as well as he was gone and it was hard to look at. I guess my apologetic tone is just a part of feeling like I have to apologize in case I insult someone with my beliefs and I guess I have to work onthat. Thanks for stopping by.CHeers.

    Rose56 thanks for reading, Im not sure whats coming as you say but these are just my thoughts and I felt I could share them. Cheers.

    Samsons1 thanks for reading and if my mother is right than that would be wonderful but it still doesn't take away my belief that God wouldn't throw me into hell for my opionions. THanks for sharing your opinion. Cheers.

  • samsons1 profile image


    7 years ago from Tennessee

    Mark 8:36

    For what will it profit a man(or woman) if he(she) gains the whole world, and loses his(her) own soul?

    What if your mom is right?

  • rose56 profile image


    7 years ago

    Wow what a hub. I knew it would be complicated some how. But it was interesting as well. Get ready because I am sure its coming and you know what I mean.

  • Gypsy Willow profile image

    Gypsy Willow 

    7 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

    Oh indecision, indecision! I wish for your sake that you had been able to write this in an uninhibited frame of mind. You seem afraid to upset anyone and hurt their feelings. I can't believe that anything happens to us after we die. I attended an open casket funeral once where my neighbour who had committed suicide was laid out for all to see. It was unnerving as he looked fine except he wasn't there!

  • mwatkins profile image


    7 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC

    Beautiful and congratulations! I got to look death in the eye when I was 16. I preferred to believe I would go to heaven at that time. What I learned is that I may not have tomorrow, but I have today. That is my gift. Today is my story. I live it wholeheartedly. Enjoy!



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