My Agenda For When I Get To Heaven
OF COURSE, JESUS, WILL BE IN HEAVEN
Other Sights and Sounds in Heaven
the one-time, legendary sportswriter for the Detroit Free-Press wrote a best seller entitled, "The First Five People You Meet When You Get To Heaven," and to say Albom's book was great, is like saying Frank Sinatra had a lot of hit songs. Albom created a stir with his personal view of Heaven, death, and then life after death with his book that reprinted no telling how many times.
I don't know about you, but I have to respect Albom's boldness and courage to publish a book of this nature for the subject of Heaven has mostly been kept in the organized church. And to be honest, I wish I knew more about this place of total peace and happiness. Okay. Let me go a step further. I wish more preachers knew more about Heaven. Then "sheep" like me wouldn't find ourselves in a mental funk when we hear one minister describe Heaven one way and then another minister say that "he" went to Heaven in a dream and saw trains like the "L Train" in Chicago. Possible? Yes. Probable? Don't ask me. I am afraid to elaborate.
From what I have read of the Holy Bible pertaining to Heaven, I do know that Heaven is a place where the regenerated of fallen man will go although they do not see themselves fit to live in such a place. And heaven, according to Jesus, is not going to have in its residence, self-righteous, judgemental, or vain souls who look down on people such as myself. Jesus taught more about Hell than He did Heaven. I've always wondered why.
But to not start a theological debate that sometimes ends with harsh words and hurt feelings, I am going to try Mitch Albom's approach to Heaven and give you my personal agenda for my impending arrival to this place that I do believe exists.
My list is simple. There are things that I expect, things that I will not want to do, and just my overall up-front intentions in the here and now that I would love to be set in motion if this is my last hub before I leave this dimension and enter the dimension of Heaven.
WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, I DO NOT WANT TO . . .
- Pick cotton. I did this as a child. And it was always hot, sweltry days when I helped my dad and mom with the sharecropping that kept us in food and clothing.
- Get up early. I did this all of my working years on earth. I'd love to be awakened around 8:30 if there IS an 8:30 or morning. I just realized that the Bible states that in Heaven "time will be no more," so I would like a wake-up call for "sometime."
- Wash dishes. Yep. Helped my mom when I was a teenager. Now help my wife with washing the dishes. Not a job that I want in Heaven. I guess they will have dishes up there or out there, because the Bible speaks of the "marriage supper of the Lamb," so they will have to have dishes there. I would think that even Jesus, the Guest of (all) Honor, would love to see us eat with utensils and off of plates.
- Go with my wife shopping. In Heaven surely men can take it easy while our wives shop until they, well, they cannot drop since they are in their spiritual bodies, so they can shop all they want to while us husbands sit around (all we want) and talk of our lives on earth.
- Answer a phone. I hate the sound of my phone ringing. I know that it sounds harsh, but I can't help it. In the newspaper business, I heard a lot of phones ringing five days a week and friends, it can get old. Quick. Please, Lord Jesus, make sure that there is not an AT&T, T-Mobile, Verizon, Sprint or Tracfone up there. Please?
- Mow my grass. Again. Did that enough on earth. And Lord Jesus, if you do have grass, it has to be the grass YOU planted that never needs mowing, right? But if it does, I would cut it with a new mower from a Home Depot or Lowe's you just have to have in Heaven. Lord, I want you to remember, although you have a special place in your heart for women, we men have to have our Home Depot or Lowe's so "we" can have some pleasure too.
WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, PLEASE KEEP THESE PEOPLE AWAY FROM ME . . .
- Nosy people. I cannot tolerate that now. Why should I in Heaven?
- Self-righteous people. Churches are not built by self-righteous, but humble-hearted people with a "servant's heart." I just do not want to socialize with people who "think" they are a bit better than us common people.
- Combative people. I hate arguing. Especially with people who are not fully-educated on the subject we are arguing about.
- Short-tempered people. Need I explain?
- Self-absorbed people. If Jerry Seinfeld is to live with me in Heaven, Lord would you take his narcissistic personality from him for I do not want to spend eternity talking ONLY about Jerry or those like him.
- Telemarketers. I don't care if they live near me in Heaven, just don't call me selling something like a broom that sweeps floors by itself.
WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, I WILL EXPECT . . .
- A Friendly Greeting, not a person who worked for the DMV on earth who is used to barking, "next!"
- To Be Accepted, by everyone there in Heaven. Not just put with those of my lowly-state. I want the wealthy to sit down and eat with me and my friends who never had wealth to speak of. And get along.
- Good Food. Not that this is the ONLY reason for me to live in Heaven, but I have heard wiser students of the Bible teach that there will be enough food to feed mankind. Sounds great to me. Oh, Dear Lord Jesus, I hate to quibble, but can you have some fried chicken with potato salad?
- Quiet Time, especially somewhere after we sing and praise Jesus, The Son of God, for about two thousand years. Then a nice, quiet nap in one of the always-available hammocks hanging between the lovely Cypress or Oak trees they have up, or out there in Heaven.
- To See My Pets, all of them. All of my pets I had on earth and they either died or some jerk killed them. Give me my pets, some good food and company and well, "I'm in Heaven."
- No Pains, in my body. I hear tell that we will have new bodies in Heaven that do not grow old or get sick. Where is the line for signing-up?
WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN, SURROUND ME WITH THESE PEOPLE . . .
- Jesus. After all, He did make this place, Heaven, possible.
- Angels. I want to meet my Guardian Angel for he or she surely had their hands full taking care of me while on earth.
- Mother Teresa. And hear her talk about her passionate love of God, orphans, and sickly children of Calcutta, New Dehli and India.
- The Apostle Paul for he was the wisest man, next to Jesus, and King Solomon. I will need someone smart near me. To tell me when to keep my mouth shut.
- My wife. She deserves an eternity of peace and quiet having endured me on earth and I would miss her if I were to be there without her.
- ALL OF MY HUBBER FRIENDS for in the past eleven months, all of the Special Writers have helped, advised and influenced me so much on HubPages. I surely want these special friends with me. Then, I can finally see them face-to-face.
I told you that my list was simple. And yes, short. So there is "my" agenda for living in Heaven with you.
I can just see the face of Jesus as He reviews my last few years on earth. He smiles some. Frowns some. And is totally-fair on all accounts.
Then He says with a smile, "Ken, you made it. Although some of your work on earth was confusing, I still see where you had your heart."
"Thank you, Lord Jesus, for allowing me inside your kingdom of Heaven," I will happily reply.
As I start to skip my way to the Pearly Gates, I hear Him say, "Ken, this hub you wrote on April 30, 2012, your time, about "your" agenda upon entering Heaven, this segment where you talk about "what you WON'T Do," well, Ken, we need to have a good, long talk before you take another step.
Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but it's a good thing I had my wife put my PC in my coffin.