My Perspective on Electronic Harassment
The Why of Electronic Harassment
I'm at a very crucial stage from a spiritual point of view. I've won so many battles and lost a couple times. When I got so electronically-attacked, it felt like a near death experience. One time, it seemed like I was going to go to heaven. I saw the light in my mind so clearly that it was almost physical reality. When my parents revived me, I decided I didn't want to "die" right now. When they released me from the ER, I immediately felt as though I was going to not only die, but go to Hell as well. Tendrils of black energy sucked at my abdomen and I was made to feel I would become a "whore for Satan". Sound nuts? Yeah, it does.........but this was too real and there was a notable pattern which I have discerned from the sum-total of my experiences.
When do we get harassed? Well, if you look at it from a Biblical standpoint: we get harassed whenever we sin. Now, these folks are very strict about sin and I technically raised myself to Love the tao of : sex, drugs and rock and roll. So I look at myself and all my experiences and then I feel the beautiful tinglings of response to my long-abandoned(but never forgotten) faith. I also recieve "threats" or thoughts of being physically-damaged, even crucified for my faith.
This IS something you want to be very careful with: I've got this crazy hunch that they can hear my thoughts. Time and time again, I've been exposed to stimulation with a definite pattern that clearly demonstrates the technology we are dealing with. If you can read a mind and know it's every nuance, is it so far-fetched that these thought-patterns could be stored in a virtual reality. Hey, it would beat being physically dead if the option existed..........and my hunch is that it just might exist.
People are clearly doing this. Another hunch of mine. These people appear to do what in their minds are what God would want them to do. They are seriously strict. Just about everything I do triggers a definite response. I like to: cuss, have sex, work out like a beast and listen to music all the time. Now if you believe in the power of the music, even become the music......no one can really touch you. This is a "cheat" I'm slipping into the mix because I haven't got it worked out just yet. I was almost "killed" and sent to heaven........then the next time I tried to get them to kill me by accepting the worst electronic torture I'd ever received. This didn't work out. Something kept shocking me to wake up and stop this........so I did. I tried it again, got BOTH frequencies humming like a sonic electric chair. Then I broke the connection to go to the bathroom. Immediately, there was this storm so bad that I thought that it was the apocalypse. I got myself a beer and waited to see what would happen.
What I'm trying to say is this: maybe we've created a "digital heaven". Science magazines even discuss the possibility of uploading our neural firing patterns into a virtual system with virtual brain-cells identical to our own (same firing potentials, the works). This whole "system" is based on Biblical principles. I don't know whether to hate them for what appears to be a 21st-century Inquisition in which most people have had their minds pounded into mush and enslaved to some sort of Robotic Society or go hardcore Christian. There are all these really nice people I meet who "weather the storm" with such ease, it amazes me. See, the righteous do not get harassed. Don't think I'm on a soap-box, because I'm virtually self-programmed to seek out sinful pleasure. I practically run on it. My conversion to Christianity must be taken very slowly and carefully.
The next question seems to be: trust. Are there two warring factions competing for the "soul" of each and every person on the face of the Earth? It sure looks like that. Do I trust the "God faction" ? Do I embrace the world by committing an act which I find to be so shameful that I would probably lose all self-respect (not to mention salvation?) Right now I'm off both grids. I've got to say that FREEDOM is another issue I'm grappling with. Would the me I'd become through "electric training" really be ME. I don't know. Would such a bland existence enlighten me somehow to deeper levels of being or would it just suck ass? I tried practising Buddhism, which teaches Bramacharya (willed abstinence). This went a long way to gaining acceptance from the rest of the world. I got a job.......but it was still "Hell".
All I can say is that I represent an extreme example: I was once a "good boy" who decided to be "bad-ass" after being constantly humiliated for being who I was. Now I see I might have made some errors and who I now am is going to be very difficult to be saved. It's like you only get two choices: go Christian or "sell out". What will happen if I do neither? Actually I consider myself Christian, but technically I'm horrible about being one. What fills me with life gets me "punished" and I think one more self-crucifixion would pulp my brain. Recovery from these NDI'S takes months........but we do eventually "bounce-back". Any NDI can be prevented totally with anti-anxiety drugs and music. A word to the wise - always have an "emergency kit" for these mental breakdowns. My greatest mistake was refusing anxiolytics in the ER. This is a MENTAL BREAK and I'd been spared one "brush with Hell" had I accepted them. If you are in a hospital, it's time to break out the anxiolytics, NOT the anti-psychotics. They actually leave you MORE VULNERABLE to attack. Abilify is a mood-stabilizer that actually works for me, so there might be some hope there.
I guess that if you feel mentally-weak, mellow out for awhile and work on being a good Christian. This will REALLY HELP with the electronic harassment. Maybe you'll find something and never come back to "the jungle". If so, let me know about your experience. I'm looking for reasons to "get serious". I believe that this is all coming to a head soon. Ron Artest changed his name to "World Peace". So now every time he scores, they mention world peace. "And they will be saying peace and security" quotes the Biblical pre-Armaggedon time phase. Just the fact that all this electronic hoodoo exists to make one's existence a living Hell is itself a sign.
Either way, here's some good advice: be good no matter what. This will help lower the torture you are experiencing. Bend the rules.........very carefully if you MUST. And be ready for the "artificial mental breakdown" by keeping a good anxiolytic and I-Pod around. Also, don't ever get so dependant on a drug that you could be "beat down" psychologically by not having it around. Do not trust anyone, even your doc.......keep an "emergency stockpile" around in case of attack. If you are really strapped, you can take 8 imodiums and put them under your tongue and take a very high dose of diphenhydramine. This is all about stopping a mental breakdown, not being high. Valerian root is also cheap and somewhat helpful.