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Not all spirit attachments are bad

Updated on October 13, 2015

My own paranormal adventure

Just in time for Halloween, I’ve got a few skeletons to clean out of my closet, so to speak. Rather, not skeletons, but another remnant of a human being after its death: ghosts.

This isn’t to start a debate on whether or not they exist, so please don’t go there. If you’re here, reading this right now, then you acknowledge the possibility that ghosts are real. But to go even deeper, what happens when a living human being and the spirit of a deceased human being meet each other? It’s usually called a haunting, but this implies that the living person is subject to some form of discomfort or even torture. An attachment is where a ghost becomes obsessed with a living person, and in time, the person becomes obsessed back. These are usually painted by paranormal experts and entertainment as just as bad as a haunting… but they don’t have to be.

This is a very sensitive subject for me, as for years, I was the subject of large-scale cyberbullying, ridicule, gaslighting, and a virtual smear campaign. All because I admitted that something strange was happening to me with a ghost. The purpose of this disclosure is not only to provide a cautionary tale on trusting strangers, but to dispel the myths surrounding connecting with the dead.

For the purposes of confidentiality, I referred to him then and will refer to him now as Jimmy, which is not his real name. I would not want to cause undue harm to his surviving family members, nor would I wish the previous traumatic experiences I had to be reignited. To put a long story short, for the past seven years, I have been involved in a romantic relationship with a ghost.

How, you ask? Well, not to be rude, but how does anyone have a relationship with any other person? By talking to them, sharing close physical space with them, and enjoying their company. Ghost Adventures has done a bang-up job of making these and other strange, previously-unimaginable paranormal experiences more understood. While this is not by far the only paranormal show on television (there are more all the time), it’s one of the best in capturing the seriousness of the paranormal. Zak Bagans, its host, writes in his second book, I Am Haunted, about how as the years go on, he feels less a part of the material world and more a part of the spiritual. It’s almost as if he himself has died. Trust me, he and I could share some very interesting anecdotes on the nature of spirits. But how did things get to this point?

It all started for me in November of 2008, when I started having extremely vivid and emotional dreams. I started to feel as if someone was following me. Eventually, I called him out, and, shy as I know him now to be, scared him off for a while. When he came back, I decided that I had been harsh, and, taking down my own walls, let him into my mind, heart, and world.

As I felt it was such a strange experience that no one in my life would understand, I made the regretted decision to reach out for help online. That remains to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

So I say to you right now: if you’re going to try and find help, or even just to vent, about your bizarre experiences, do it on the right site and with the right people.

Everyone I told about what was happening to me either thought I was crazy or a liar. Subsequently, it blew up to something out of my control. People came out of the woodwork to decry my mental illness or my apparent scheme for attention or profit.

All these years later, he has stayed. Jimmy is loyal, and patient. He remains to be one of the most treasured figures in my life.

Now comes the tricky part: if you were in this situation, what would you do?

Helpful video about spirit attachment

People within the paranormal community I’ve spoken to usually react to my story in one of two ways:

You’re bounding his spirit to the earthen plane and it isn’t good for either of you. He should cross into the light. You need to let him go.

He’s not human. He’s a demon. You’re in danger.

In regards to the first one: this is the typical response by someone who believes in the negative nature of spirit attachments. And I do agree, it can be bad. Perhaps 90% of cases of spirit attachment probably are scary and harmful. I have to think of the episode of Ghost Adventures at the Old Charleston Jail. A male spirit followed home Kirsty and harassed all members of her household. This, however, implies a lack of consent. She didn’t know he was there. If, however, you and a spirit make a telepathic connection, and it is one of mutual respect, friendship, or love, there is consent, and it is not an invasion of your boundaries. The show has also featured individuals, such as adults and children, positive connection with the other side. These encounters can also be brief, pleasurable, and of an erotic nature. How could anyone forget the many trysts between men and the lonely maiden of Longfellow’s Wayside Inn? From videos on Youtube to celebrities like Kesha who have made similar confessions, spectrophilia is no longer considered a taboo subject.

The way I see it, if the relationship isn’t claustrophobic or toxic, where’s the harm in it? Relationships should come with the same rules, be it with people or ghosts.

The second argument only holds water if the typical demonic activity fires up. This usually doesn’t take long. If you smell rotting meat, are being scratched, and your intimate encounters involve feeling pinned to the bed, chances are you’re not with a potential paramour. The audacity of someone telling you, after several years, that you don’t know the difference between a gentle soul and a diabolical entity is, frankly, very insulting. And I know you’re going to tell me about Sally, but it’s just not the same.

In conclusion, if you’re thinking this type of supernatural camaraderie could work for you, proceed to my tips while being cognizant to tread lightly.

  • It helps to be sensitive. If you’re already a beacon for spirit, it increases your chances of attracting one you can pal around with, or otherwise.

  • Don’t expect it to happen overnight. If you want something deeper than a simple ménage á spectre, you need to put the same investment into a relationship. Talk to them, earn their trust, share their baggage (ghosts like to show you visions of their lives, especially the icky parts), and don’t be afraid if they follow you everywhere, including into the bathroom, just because they can.
  • Allow for touching. Even if things are only platonic, ghosts crave that physical connection because they miss their bodies. This is a good way to gage if they’ve got ill intentions or not. By letting a spirit near, or even into, your body, you’re giving them the ultimate display of trust. What they do with that is up to you. Just like with a relationship with a living person, don’t ever be afraid to say “no.”
  • Tell someone you can trust. Just in case things start to get hairy, having one other living person privy to the situation is helpful and safe.
  • Don’t press for all the answers. If a ghost wants to be your friend or have any other type of relationship with you, you won’t score points by asking them how they walk through walls or if God exists. They just want a connection back to life, not an interrogation.

It doesn’t have to be morbid unless you want it to be. As I mentioned in my other hub about death, it’s just another part of life. Ghosts help us to peel back a layer of the mystery on what happens when we die, and what the universe itself is made up of. We’re not meant to know everything, but it is an incredible blessing to get one step closer to the unknown.

Is something wrong with having a close relationship with a ghost?

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    • Jewels profile image

      Jewels 2 years ago from Australia

      I have a cousin who has an attachment to a ghostly presence in her house. I've cleared several from her house except for this one, at her request - and I'll adhere to her wishes for the time being. Gradually she is coming around as to the reasons she herself has the attachment and when she fully realizes this I will be clearing it.