Obscure Deities: The Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Pastafarian Creation Story
In the beginning there was nothing, and then there was The Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is made up of a divine combination of noodles, spaghetti sauce, and two eyes made of meatballs. The Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world with his noodly appendage. Among the first of His creations, was a mountain, a tree, and a midget. The midget was given a beautiful wench, and they evolved into pirates, and the pirates evolved into the people we are today. The Flying Spaghetti Monster often comes to Earth to visit His creations, many sightings have been reported.
I'm not so sure about how obscure this one really is, but I do know of some people who have never heard of His Supreme Noodliness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the deity of the Pastafarian religion, The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Some believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster as a parody to Christianity, but some actually believe in His Noodly Greatness!
The Flying Spahetti Monster, through His gospel, written by the prophet, Bobby Henderson promises that heaven will include a beer volcano and a stripper factory.
Pastafarians believe that pirates are the Flying Spaghetti Monster's "chosen people", and that we are all descendants of pirates. In worship, Pastafarians will sometimes dress up in full pirate regalia, or just wear an eye patch. Global warming is is caused by the decline of the population true pirates in the world.
Here is a list of Pastafarian Holidays:
- Pastover - The pastafarian equivilent of Jewish passover and Easter. Not celebrated on any specific date. Celebrated by consuming mass quantities of pasta.
- Ramendan - Similar to Ramadan of Islam, only Pastafarians don't fast and pray. They just devote a few days to eating nothing but ramen noodles. This reminds them of their days as poor college students, and reminds them to be greatful for what The Flying Spaghetti Monster has given them.
- Halloween - On Halloween, Pastafarians dress up as pirates and hand out candy to children to honor their ancestors, who did the same (according to the Pastafarians).
- International Talk Like a Pirate Day - Ever September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Pastafarians dress up like pirates, and consume alcohol, as they spread the word of the Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
- Friday - Friday is the holiest day of the week, similar to the Jewish and Christian Sabbath. Pastafarians celebrate every Fiday by imbibing alcoholic beverages and doing as little as possible.
- Holiday - Holiday spans throughout most of the months of December and January, and is an excuse for two months of hardcore partying, where Pastafarians simply eat, drink and be merry!