Offer of Forgiveness
Chained by unforgiveness!
In reflection, everyone seems to hurt someone else at some point in their life. I'm not talking about childhood offenses. Even though childhood events form the character, we each enter into life equal, and have opportunity one and all to choose to forgive those who hurt us. To quickly summarize the content of this hub, I want to address that sometimes we offer our forgiveness to those who aren't accepting it, or ignore us and sometimes might not seem to deserve it. Yes, everyone deserves to be forgiven, but in their manners they fail to realize the value of it. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful sources of release, empowerment, and of freedom. I must emphasize and iterate that without it, we remain attached to the other person, or persons. Invisible chains hold you together, and until it is dealt with, the unforgiveness is part of you, or part of them, and there is a cross flow of negative energy between you. What complicates the process of true forgiveness, and the area I am addressing is when the offended refuses to accept, harbors deep resentment or seemingly are haughty toward the offender. Sometimes that person even steps it up a level in holding it against you, to use for control. Vindictive, hostile, and other words come to mind when an offended individual refuses to forgive and let go.
The safest way to release yourself from an unforgiving individual involves asking forgiveness from them in a respectful way, whether by personal contact, or by letter. Sincerity goes a long way in such matters. Also once you have dealt with the cause, realize if the offended is not conciliatory, then once you have offered, to forgive yourself. If it is a moral trespass, ask Gods forgiveness, and refrain from retaliation or anger at the unforgiving person. Then you must take steps to move on.
In the case when you have been wronged and the offender won't ask forgiveness, you can scarcely offer them forgiveness. You can however forgive them in your own heart. But you cannot force another person to either forgive you, or to ask forgiveness of you. They must come to that conclusion on their own. I can think of one or two people I have known who have let themselves become hard and unforgiving, actually staying angry and resentful. In that case you can only do what you know to do, release yourself, and take steps to move on.
Sometimes others around you are effected by your actions, and you try to resolve the issue without them ever understanding or forgiving. So be brave in your own conscious and actions by knowing that you tried and knowing that you did not intend those other people harm by your actions. Some people seem to want you to bear guilt when even God has forgiven you. They want to be your guilt provider and judge and jury. How shallow and wrong they are. We can never be happy by blaming others needlessly. We can never make something right by keeping someone hostage by unforgiveness. It becomes an illness to the one who harbors it and they cannot see the danger until they are paralyzed by it. So in conclusion to forgive or to be forgiven is a type of healing to those who are hurt. It indeed is a big step in the healing process of life and its sometimes hurtful events. Getting past it is however crucial and hinges on our ability to forgive.
The Turtle and the Rabbit
Once upon a time, Mr. Ronnie Rabbit was at home, painting his burrow, and was almost done when Mr Tom Turtle came by to visit. But before he could speak, his visitor bumped the ladder next to him and paint dripped on his beautiful turtle shell. So Mr Tom Turtle got all upset and said, "Ronnie Rabbit I can never forgive you, for you have ruined my beautiful turtle shell!" As he turned around, about to go off in a turtle stuff huff, Ronnie Rabbit said in apology, "Tom Turtle, I am so sorry, I didn't know you were going to bump the ladder and get paint on your shell. I wasn't expecting you! Can I clean your shell off for you, so you will appear beautiful again?" So he went and got a wet rag and hopped right over by Tom the turtle. Now, Mr. Tom was a snapping turtle and every time Ronnie Rabbit even got close to his shell, he snapped at him.. He snapped left and right, and Rabbit finally gave up, with, " you are so hateful and snap at me each time I ask you to forgive me while I wipe off the paint!" So after getting snipped at and snapped at, Ronnie Rabbit gave up trying to wash the paint off of Mr. Tom Turtle. To make a long story short, Mr. Tom Turtle goes through the grass with a painted shell, and complains every day that Mr. Ronnie Rabbit got paint on his beautiful shell.
How does this story end? Well eventually the paint wore off and Turtle had his natural shell back again. One day he actually wandered close to Ronnie Rabbits Burrow, and actually complimented Rabbit on his beautiful Home that was so recently painted. "Ronnie Rabbit, your house is so nice and the paint looks so good!". This made Rabbit wonder, Why is he complementing me? So he said, "well, Tom Turtle your shell is oh so beautiful too". (a turtle's shell IS his home). And Tom Turtle raised his turtle eyes at him and said, "Why thank you Mr. Rabbit! I am sorry I snapped at you and snipped at you, for having the paint on me made me realize what I had and while I walked around so miserable, not forgiving you, I realized how good my shell was and how sorry I became with unforgiveness. But when the paint finally wore off, I received a new perspective and realized I was in the wrong; will you forgive me?" So the two friends made up, and now they visit frequently, with new appreciation for each other.
1. Why did the turtle end up being the one to ask forgiveness?
a. because he was a turtle?
b. because he first failed to forgive?
c. because he was beautiful?
1. Sometimes we have to back off and wait for the paint of unforgiveness to wear off of the other person(s), just like it happened with Mr. Tom Turtle.
2. At first they have a snapping turtle personality and it is isn't until they realize in their mistake of not forgiving that they seek the freedom of forgiveness.
3. Efforts to beautify his own home made Mr. Ronnie Rabbit the better man. It rubbed off on Mr. Turtle, but it took a while for forgiveness to take place.
4. In the end both Tom Turtle and Ronnie Rabbit benefited from forgiveness.
© 2015 Oscar Jones