Confession online - what a novel idea!
I booted up my computer the other day and happened to glimpse something about the Catholic Church considering "Confessions Online". I must first confess that I did not read the article, rather I only glimpsed the title. This is a beautiful idea! Having been baptized in the Catholic Church myself, I must first confess that I have gone to confession only one time. Confession is so humiliating, which I suppose is what it's supposed to be. The righteous say humbling, I say humiliating. I say Po-TAY-to, you say Po-TA-to. My guess is that only good living, elderly people go to confession to confess all, and the rest of the masses leave out a whole lot. And if you are going to sit in that booth confessing your sins, isn't it a sin to leave out the really bad parts? Wouldn't it then be a sin to partake of Communion?
I'm confused. If God is everywhere, why do I have to share my deepest darkest indescrepencies with God's Cabinet? Couldn't I just say my prayers at home, confess to God, and tack on a few more Hail Marys and Our Fathers that night? I'm thinking if we really could confess online, God would hear a whole lot more mortal sins thrown in there with the pile of venial sins he (or she) is getting now.
And hasn't the Church become a business? Let's be honest here (we are on a religious topic and religion and honesty go hand in hand), therefore, the Church needs money to pay the light bill and oil bill just like the rest of us. They need money to do their Catholic Charities work. And they need money to buy choir robes and candles. Why can't we "PAY" pay for our sins? We could email our weekly list of sins and decide what we think is a fair price per sin, and then put that money in the collection plate on Sunday (or on Saturday night if you prefer the Youth Mass, like I do! I just love the music!) If we could confess on line, I would profess, to undress my sins to God, on a weekly basis! I'm even willing to pay the church retroactive confession money. (Of course, I would have to pay in installments on this, but it could be done.)
I just think that God's Cabinet should know (or at least admit) that a lot of their sheep have jumped the fence because we don't want to voluntarily go into a confessional booth feeling like we are going to get butchered. And us non-confessors do not want to stand up and take Communion, if we have to add that to our list of sins: Communion without Confession...isn't that a package deal?
I think that my first confession might read something like this:
Forgive me of my sins. It's been 36 years since I've confessed. 1.) I've coveted my neighbors husband; 2.) I've stolen several things over the years; some of which are: a Barbie Wig from King's Dept. Store (this was partly my sister's fault, because we stole this wig together, and her being the older sister, she should have known better!), I stole an 8-track Rita Coolidge Tape (By the way, I loved her rendition of "Desperado") , I stole 37 cents from a church once (back when the church kept their doors unlocked at all times...not unlike us New Englanders), I stole a tube of Ora-Gel once because my teeth were killing me and I had no dental insurance (but I got caught stealing that one and believe you me, I paid for it! But, I am still willing to pay you), I stole $20 worth of dimes/5 rolls from my parents, and I stole an AMAZING suede fringed Indian Hippie jacket from a rich girl (but I returned this prize the very next day...my conscious would not let me keep this little gem, even though I had that beauty home free!); 3., 4., 5., 6. & 7.) I've cussed; used the Lord's name in vain; driven a car probably when I shouldn't have; skipped school (again, influenced by yet another older sister, made easy due to the fact our Mom died at an early age and my sister wrote all the dismissal notes); and I've even taken hits off the gallon of milk in the fridge without using a glass when no one was looking.
Okay, you get the point. Confession on Line- what a Brilliant Idea! Of course I have a million other sins to confess, but that's for me and my God, and unless I know for sure that I'm typing my Confession on a secure site, I'm not putting anything that can be used against me in print.
Now aside from Absolution and a having a clear conscious, I'm guessing that if one was to put a "retribution value" to it, with just those few sins alone that I listed above, I would fairly value that at $1,000 that I owe to God, to the people I have trespassed against, and to help me in the forgiveness of myself. Add to that, the Big Sins I've committed, and you've got yourself a Sunday Regular depositing my payment in the collection basket.
You know, I've been kind of worrying about when it comes my time to meet my maker. I thought, "Will I go out in a cloud of dust withoutever truly having Absoultion?" Not if Online Confessions catch on, I won't. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!