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POLYGAMY AMONG MUSLIMS
Could be Noble, Could be Sinful, Could get nothing
There is a kind of misunderstanding in the minds of those who do not understand Islam wholly about the practice of polygamy in this religion. Many of them only take a look on the negative sides that take place behind the practice of this marriage carried out by the wrong people; meanwhile, on the other hand, they turn a blind eye to the positive things that exist behind the worship of this one just to put Muslims on the corner.
Polygamy (having more than one wife) indeed was told by Allah to be implemented by male Muslims; but in the practice this obligation applies only to those who are able and willing to do it. For those who can not, this practice is actually prohibited to do, for they are the women which will become the object of the practice if there are some inappropriate treatment on them or not approved by their father or their guardian (if the women are still girl / virgin). (Note: In Islam, a woman who would get married -- if she is still a girl / virgin, the marriage must be approved by her father or her guardian; but if she is a widow, she has the right to define her marriage by herself - allowed or not by her father or her guardian).
When must a Muslim carry out polygamy ? A Muslim must have more than one wife if he has the following conditions:
1. He has a very high sexual libido that could not be offset only by one wife.
2. He has property that could finance more than one family.
3. He is a honest and responsible man.
4. He has a good understanding at Islam so that he can control all of his families in order to always be in a state of peace and fun.
5. He really can be a fair leader for all of his wives and children, so that he could control his families to always be in stable condition and no bickering or jealousy among the wives of one another - as well as the children.
For those who are in the fifth conditions above, the obligation to carry on their polygamy is on them, because they would be able to get through it. It means:
A. They (the men) who have normal or low sexual libido;
2. Those who have wealth which only will be able to support a wife and some children;
3. The hypocrites and the cowards who always run away from responsibility;
4. The ones who are not so familiar with Islam and its rules;
5. The men who can not be a fair leader for his wife and children;
are forbidden to practice polygamy for if they insist on doing it then only the misery that would be obtained by his wife and children, and everything will happen by necessity.
Islam indeed tells its followers to practice polygamy, but with the five conditions as mentioned above. And it will always be in line with Al-Qur'anul Karim in Surah An-Nisa 'verse 3:
"And if you are worried you will not be able to be just to the (rights of) orphan girls (if you marry them), , then marry (other) that you like: two, three, or four. Then if you are worried you will not be able to be just, then (marry) only one, or the slaves which you have. so it is closer to not doing injustice.”
In the verse, it is clearly legible, the concept of polygamy in Islam. Those who do not qualify are not allowed to do so.
Islam is a religion of the noble and transparent. It is a far more noble man who married more than one women if he has met the five requirements mentioned above, instead:
a hypocrite who commits adultery everywhere (having sex with many women without being in marriage) or;
• a man who pretended to be faithful to his wife, but she had an affair or adultery with another woman (women) without her consent, or;
• a figure who acted holy in the community, but immoral in the reality behind the society because of adultery with many women by his sides in the name of Gods.
Outside of the above conditions, there are other conditions which makes a Muslim may practice polygamy - that is when his first wife is not a submissive and obedient woman to her husband (compliance in accordance with the teachings of Islam), and do not want to stay with her husband by many reasons: they live far from each other and could only meet one timeS a month, once every two months, and so on. In this condition, if the man is not able to live in the separate condition, he may marry another woman.
In Islam, a man who meets the five conditions for polygamy above and implement them is a noble man, moreover if he marries the women who also love him and need all the excess (the five conditions) that he has; his lust, wealth, religion , honesty and leadership.
This has been exemplified by Nabiyullah Muhammad Salallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam; he had several wives; but one thing to remember, the one which was still a virgin when he married to was only Siti Aishah Radhiallaahu' anha – meanwhile the other ones basically were widows aged older than him, the ones who had some even many orphans who had sustained their live by a figure of a father. And one more thing to keep in mind, his second marriage and the next ones, done after Siti Khadijah Radhiallaahu 'anha, his first wife passed away. That means, he never married another woman while Siti Khadijah, the best wife and the one he had loved most – was still alive. Meanwhile, the other wives whom he married to after his first wife passed away, were based more on humanitarian considerations, to protect them from neglect due to the condition that their husbands died in the battle or divorced by the previous one, exception to Siti Aishah for that the request of Abu Bakr Shiddique Radhiallaahu 'Anhu, his best friend, and the father of her.
He himself had never told his followers to follow the form of marriage which he lived in, for the marriage that he did not get out of the permit and the command of Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala.
Once, a young man reported to him if he wanted to follow his path by marrying a widow who was 15 years older than him (like the condition of the Him with Siti Khadijah), the Nabiyullah was surprised and asked why he would marry a widow when he still had a lot of choices to marry a virgin who can be flirted and loved. And then the man cancelled his planning because of this.
The problems that occurred in the practice of polygamy in the field is always comes from the people who do not meet the whole requirements to implement, yet they still wish to do it on the basis of prestige.
As the final emphasis, once again, I want to outline, polygamy may be done by a Muslim if they have conditions that have been determined - and they intend to do it, mean while those who do not qualify the regulation, they were forbidden to practice polygamy.
Payakumbuh, 14 April 2012