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Personal Evolution: Facing Uncertainty in Transformation

Updated on March 15, 2010

Do People Change?

People can change. But it takes work. It takes dedication. We don’t wake up one day and we’re different; we have to go through the process. I am hoping to become a very good writer, but I know it won’t happen tonight. I have to keep working at it.

Why is Change so Scary?

Sometimes people give up too soon. Sometimes I’m one of those people. Change can be painful. I’m much more comfortable with physical pain to be honest. Emotional pain is a struggle that’s often easier to drown out with loud music and funny movies. Hiding beneath the incessant BZZZZZ of electronica, with our fingers jammed in our ears. That is the easiest way to live. The path to transformation is treacherous. To look into the mirror and see deeper, into our own soul, that is petrifying.

But as I continue on this journey, I find there is also exhilaration. It can be a thrill to face the demons that exist in one’s own mind. These demons are tricky though. Sometimes, when you think you have them all figured out, it turns out that they have merely lulled you into a false sense of security. There is always some deeper truth buried within the self, and it will never be comfortable to face.

"The Ball Thing."

When we see how we treat others, and even more importantly, how we treat ourselves, that is the true horror show. When we see how we hold ourselves back from opportunity. How we punish ourselves even as our own parents once did. The terrible messages we continue to relay, through actions as well as words. In some cases, an overblown sense of entitlement may be covering up the feeling of total worthlessness. But the message is always the same: I am not good enough.

It takes both patience and support to work through these kinds of issues: Group or individual therapy, faith-based counseling, 12-step support groups, positive, encouraging friends, and determination.

Do not forget, as you are immersed in this journey, that you are fully worth it. You are worthy of happiness.

What Does it Mean to be Stuck?

Languishing can happen. We get stuck or seem to move backwards. But this is where the real seeds of change are sewn: deep within. The appearance of stuckness can be compared to a caterpillar in a cocoon. To the outside observer nothing is changing, but on the inside, nature is practicing wizardry of the highest order. When the breath-taking butterfly emerges, she is grateful for her previous “stagnation.” She understands that her wings were born from patience.

Kind of a Miracle.


When Do We Get to the Good Part?


We cannot predict the future, although we try in every moment. Guessing, wondering, hoping, fearing. But like the butterfly we are moving both through and toward something that is beyond words. A perfection outside our range of fathomability.


This journey is both beautiful and fun. Painful and aggravating. Enraging, enrapturous, fragrant, and explosive. Surprises lay waiting like flowers to be picked. And at the end, if we’re lucky, we can look back over the whole thing and laugh, full.


Full of experiences that span the spectrum. Full of grimaces and grins. And full of the knowledge that we grabbed the bull by the horns, scowled viciously, and yelled “Come on you son of a bitch, I dare ya!”

I was looking for a picture of a scary bull but I want to give this one a hug.
I was looking for a picture of a scary bull but I want to give this one a hug.


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    • AdamGee profile image

      AdamGee 8 years ago

      Thanks, Cosette, that's really nice of you to say! I am trying not to hold myself back from opportunity pretty much as I'm typing this. I need to find a job! Thanks again, Cosette. You made my day :)

    • profile image

      cosette 8 years ago

      i am guilty of this one: "When we see how we hold ourselves back from opportunity."

      other times i feel like that unborn butterfly.

      this is perhaps one of the most beautiful hubs i have read in a while...