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Preparing To Be God's Choice

Updated on February 12, 2010

TITLE                         :           Preparing to be God’s Choice

TOPIC/LESSON      :           Relationship / Love

TEXT                          :           Selected Scriptures

THRUST                   :           The purpose of this lesson is to teach the students the                                                     principles that will prepare them to be the right person                                                      for God and other people


·        React the statement:  “Before you look for the right person, first be the right person.”

·        Before we discover God’s will in the future for us in the area of relationship, we must need to be following God’s choice for a partner for us, we first need to cultivate the qualities that will make us more attractive and prepare us to be God’s choice for another person.

·        The ff. are some of the principles to prepare us to be God’s choice:


1.      Define your worth in God’s eyes.

·        Illus.:  Teenagers

o       A psychologist was counseling the mother of a sixteen-year-old teenager. “How would your son fill in the blank at the end of this sentence?” he said.

o       “I only count when _______________”

o       How would you respond to the above statement” (allow the students to answer)

o       The implication was that the answer would reveal the driving force behind the teenager’s decisions, actions, and behaviors.

·        We’re all searching for what makes our lives count – for someone or something that will keep us from feeling worthless.

·        Why are we inherently important?

o       We are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

o       God loves us.. (Jeremiah 31:3).

o       God has a wonderful plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11)

·        However, we must view ourselves as whole and complete people based on our relationship with Christ, not our value to someone else or even our marital status.

·        Psalm 32:8.

·        A more literal translation uses the word “eye” which is rendered in many version.

·        “I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” (Psalm 32:8bm NAS, ESV, RSV)

·        “I will guide you with My  eye, if the eye is silent and does not make any sound?

·        How can God guide us with His eye, if the eye is silent and does not make any sound.

·        The only way we could get guidance from God’s eye is to look directly at Him.

·        The longer it takes to get to that point, the more opportunity we have for making damaging decisions that can affect our lives forever.

·        Illus: Deb.

o       Deb thought that she didn’t count without her boyfriend. She gave in to his demands for sex (“say yes or I’m gone”) because in her mind she felt as though she was nothing without him.  She feared being rejected and abandoned.  One demand led to another, and she gave in again when she felt forced by her boyfriend to have an abortion.

o       Years later, Deb went through a radical transformation after a faith conversion.  When her view of God changed, so did her view of herself. Self-esteem can’t come from anywhere but Jesus, Deb now says.  “He will  love you in spite of your failings.  If your self-worth is based on your looks, your parents’ love, or the sense that  you’re great, it will fail. All that will pass.”

2.  Discover the fulfillment in doing God’s work.

·        Ephesians 2:10

·        The Greek word for “workmanship” sometimes has the connotation of a “work of art,” and the words “prepared in advance” indicate God’s sovereign purpose and planning.

·        Illus.:  Frank Laubach

o       Frank Laubach once called himself “the happiest man in the world,”which is strange for a missionary who lost three children to malaria and dysentery. Laubach spent his life in remote parts of the world among the desperately poor.  He organized a literacy program in the Philippines that became a global movement and literally changed millions of lives (around 60 million).  He had the pleasure of watching men and women jump for joy when they realized they could read.

o       He died in June 1970. People regard Frank Laubach as the “Apostle to the illiterate.”  His movement still continues today through the organization :  ProLiteracy Worldwide.

o       Trivia:

§         Laubach is the only American missionary to be honored on a US postage stamp, a 30-cent stamp in 1984.

§         Noteworthy was Laubach’s interest in the Philippines, which was deepseated.  He wrote a biography of the Filipino national hero, Jose Rizal: Man and Martyr, published in Manila in 1936. He also translated the hero’s valedictory poem, “Mi Ultimo Adios” (My Last Farewell).  His version is ranked second in ideas, content, rhyme and style among the 35 English translations in a collection.

§         He was also considered a pioneer mover of Maranao literature.

·        There is a strange thing about  happiness.  The people who are so pre-occupied in getting a partner and who look for happiness are the ones who most rarely find it. Why?  Because happiness is the by-product of something else, and only a sovereign God who has planned a good work for us can guide us with.

·        James 1:2

·        Why can we still be joyful when we face difficulties?

·        What is the difference between happiness and joy?

·        Happiness is elusive and dependent on circumstances – on what is happening to us (that’s why it is called happiness). Joy, on the other hand, is dependent on our relationship with God.

·        Ex: Paul and Silas worshipped and sang praises to God even though they were cruelly beaten and put in jail. (cf. Acts 16:19-40).

·        God can also use our times of difficulty and loneliness to build character, in us. Instead of trying to change our circumstances to be happy, we should concentrate on letting God work through our circumstances to change us and build godly character in our lives.

3.  Develop godly qualities through your relationship with God.

·        Most marriages fall apart because the partners have not developed godly qualities that actually serve as foundational pillars in a marriage.

·        How is love described in the Bible? How are these qualities beneficial in a relationship?

·        1 Corinthians 13:4-6

·        How can we develop these godly qualities?

·        Galatians 5:22-23

·        The ability to love your mate, serve, and sacrifice is not a character quality you got the moment you say “I do”, by taking a course, or reading a book. The only way you can develop those qualities is by being in such close fellowship with God and His love flows through you.

·        “When one has once fully entered the realm of love, the word – no matter how imperfect – becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for love. “(Soren Kierkegaard, Danish theologian and philosopher)

·        By focusing on your fellowship with God, you’ll not only be fulfilling the word God has for you but you’ll also be preparing yourself to be God’s choice for someone else. You’ll  become the right person for another person. Your relationship with your future spouse will be only as strong as your fellowship with God.

4.  Devote yourself in serving God and people.

·        Many times God uses ministry as a practical means to bring two singles together. After He has placed a future mate in your heart during prayer, ministry can be an excellent way  to confirm god’s direction in choosing a mate.

·        If you want to know whether a  man will be a good father, watch him minister to children. If you want a wife who will be flexible and adaptable, join her on a mission trip or in serving the poor families in your community. Watching how other singles minister is one of the best ways to evaluate their character before engaging in courtship.

·        Galatians 5:13-14

5.  Decide to love God regardless of His answer.

·        As you involve yourself in ministry and service, God may bring you a partner with whom you can share your ministry and your life. But what if God says, no? Would you still claim that His plan for your life is wonderful?

·        Illus:  Max Lucado

·        Max Lucado’s daughter fell once into a swimming pool and almost drowned. Fortunately, a friend saw her and pulled her to safety. “The next morning in his prayer time,” he says, “I made a special effort to record my gratitude in his journal.  He told God how wonderful He was for saving her.  As clearly as if God Himself were speaking, this question came to his mind: “Would I be  less wonderful had I let her drown? I be any less a good God for calling her home? Would I still be receiving your praise this morning had I not saved her?”  How about you?

·        Would you still consider God to be good if He says no to your partner?  If your request is delayed or even denied, will you still serve Him and praise Him?

·        The greatest test some of us face is trusting God’s goodness in every area of our lives.  Insisting that we have to be married before we can be happy demonstrates that we don’t trust God.  It shows we don’t understand that He is a God of love, planning and desires only what is good for us, with or without spouse.

·        Habakkuk 3:17-18

·        If you’re constantly looking at every member of the opposite sex as a potential mate and letting the “hunt” occupy all your thinking, it’s a sign your not really trusting God. If you make marriage the focus of your life, you will waste your time waiting for an imaginary companion.  Even worse, your constant desire to be in a dating relationship will hinder your spiritual growth.

·        To focus your mind on the “highest point,” pray that God will work His good will in you as he conforms you to the image of Christ.  If marriage is in His plan for you, pray that God will give you the wisdom and discernment to make the right decision and that He will begin now preparing both of you for each other. Then put aside the looking, hoping, and hunting and concentrate on serving .


·        Illus: Billy and Ruth Graham

o       Billy Graham is probably the best-known preacher and minister in the world today. Can you imagine him married to anyone but Ruth Bell Graham, the daughter of Presbyterian missionaries to China?  What she learned growing up in missionary home prepared her to be the wife of one of the world’s most famous men.  Self-sacrifice. Dependence on God.  Love for God’s Word.  Concern for others.  “The Lord certainly knew what He was doing when He chose her for my wife and number-one adviser, ”Graham says.

o       In spite of these good words., Graham wasn’t always so sure about God’s plan. In college, he had a disappointing romance with a girl who chose someone else.  Struggling to get over the pain of a broken relationship, he wrote to his roommate and confidant: ”I have settled it once and for all with the Lord.  No girl or friend or anything shall ever come first in my life.  I have resolved that the Lord Jesus Christ shall have all of me. I care not what the future holds.  I have determined to follow Him at any cost.

o       Ruth, on the other hand, was rising early morning and praying for her husband’s future ministry – the husband she still hadn’t met. At that point, she didn’t even know Billy Graham.

·        May this be the prayer of our hearts:  “My heavenly Father, teach me to be a sacrificial servant to glorify You and spread the love of Christ.  Please direct me into the areas of ministry where You desire me to serve You and Your kingdom. Help me not focus on my happiness, but to gain an eternal  perspective on my life. Jesus, I thank You for my significance lies alone in You.”


“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I

will guide you with My eye.” Psalm 32:8, NKJV)


Choosing God’s Best by Dr. Don Raunikar

Wikipedia (English) en,       

This Bible study material was prepared by Ramil Dizon the cellgroup leader of the Professional Ministry of Grace Bible Church.


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    • DavePrice profile image


      8 years ago from Sugar Grove, Ill

      Thank you - it was a reminder to me that everything in the spiritual realm is manifested in the physical realm, its just sometimes hard to recognize it for what it is. Looking forward to reading more.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      8 years ago

      Crisitina, Yes our "worth is in Jesus Christ" Our true security and significance can only be found in HIM! Again this was wonderful and inspiring, As always Thank you for sharing, Blessings!

    • jesusmyjoy profile image

      Betty Bolden 

      8 years ago from Bucyrus Ohio

      Thank you cristina327 for having me here..

    • cristina327 profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Cristina Aquino Santander 

      8 years ago from Manila

      Hi Jesusmyjoyit is nice to hear from you again. Thank you for gracing this hub.

    • jesusmyjoy profile image

      Betty Bolden 

      8 years ago from Bucyrus Ohio

      Great works..thank you

    • cristina327 profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Cristina Aquino Santander 

      8 years ago from Manila

      Hi SaintatLarge it is nice to hear from you again. It is very encouraging to read your comment. Thank you for sharing an additional insight. Truly we should find our perfect security in Christ. We are complete and secure in His love even though we have or do not have a lifetime partner. Christ Love is just awesome. Have a happy heart's day.

    • cristina327 profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Cristina Aquino Santander 

      8 years ago from Manila

      Hi Dave Mathews it is nice to hear from you again. It is very encouraging to read your comment. JesusChrist is our eternal groom and we must be prepared to meet Him anytime for His coming is imminent. I am always excited about this "blessed hope" we have in Christ. Thank you for taking time to read this hub. Have a happy heart's day.

    • Saintatlarge profile image

      Saint Lawrence 

      8 years ago from Canada

      Cristina, lots of great points to ponder in this informative hub. Well done!

      "Decide to love God regardless of his answer." Probably the hardest thing for us all. What are we willing to let die on the alter before him, even putting it to death ourselves? Abraham and Isaac, complete surrender. "Now I know you fear me."

      Our love relationships manifest in the soul realm within us and if we are not placing the spiritual above the soul we fail miserably. i can contest to that happening from personal experience. Loneliness is a terrible task master.

      Thank you for your insightful work. Blessings L.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      8 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      Cristina327 I am reminded of one very significant point as I read diligently through this beautifully thoughtout put together instructional lesson, and that is that we as the "Church" must be ready at all times to be welcomed by the "BrideGroom" Christ Himself when He calls us to be his "Bride". I didn't know why this was going through my mind all morning, but then I opened your Hub and it became clear as the sun in the sky.

      Thank you Cristina327 for opening our eyes to so much. You will be truly blessed for this one.


      KUYA Dave.

    • cristina327 profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Cristina Aquino Santander 

      8 years ago from Manila

      Hi DeBorrah K. Ogans it is very encouraging to read your comment. Truly we should find our completeness in God's love not in any earthly relationship even marriage. Even marriage is not permanent, the death of a spouse will terminate it. We should find our worth in our relationship with Christ. Our relationship with Christ is bound to last for eternity. Thank you for taking time to read. Remain blessed always. Best regards.

    • cristina327 profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Cristina Aquino Santander 

      8 years ago from Manila

      Hi Unchained Grace it is nice to hear from you again. Thanks also for sharing a bit of your lovelife. I am happy for you that you have found the wife of God's choosing for you.I pray that you will continue to have a great marriage. May you continue to enjoy the bliss of a married life. God bless you.

    • cristina327 profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Cristina Aquino Santander 

      8 years ago from Manila

      Hi Coffeesnob it is nice to hear from you. Throughout unpleasant circumstances in life, God's presence remain strong and He sees us through these hard times. His character is never diminished by life's circumstances. Thank you for taking time to read this hub. Remain blessed always.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      8 years ago

      Cristina, Very good! We are a "work of art in progress..." You have made some really good points. The perfection we have through Jesus Christ brings completeness! As you stated "However, we must view ourselves as whole and complete people based on our relationship with Christ, not our value to someone else or even our marital status." This is so true!

      Our confidence must be in God. He is a solid ROCK foundation! Thank you for sharing, In His love & Blessings!

    • Unchained Grace profile image

      Unchained Grace 

      8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Cristina, Within the first paragraph of this Hub, I was brought back to a time when I lived in a homeless shelter.

      The church I'd attended went down due to the Pastor's mismanagement(?) of funds. In any event, there was a woman from that church who kept in touch with me. I clung to her as the only lifeline to a now fallen entity. I walked on everything and focused on her therefore hanging my happiness on her doorstep. God let me roll with it for a season only so I could see for myself what this person was really about. Then, he took her away from me.

      Was I ticked off? Major ticked off. But, not at God. At her for being part of the downfall and the funds mismanagement. For this was the reason He allowed it to continue on. To show me the true nature of the beast.

      Somebody whose relationship with God was very strong approached me after this happened and said the same thing you did. "Be the person you want to attract." One year later, I met a lady who is now my wife for the last three years and she is the one God had in mind for me.

      This, cristina, is a tremendous Hub and very well developed.

      Obviously, it spoke to me heavily!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Good work here. I often think about the loving God in all circumstances. He has seen mde through some ugly times. In fact the memory of my father's death is bittersweet, mostly though what I remember during that time is God's overwhelming presence in my life. Hmm Got hooked on the Max Lucado thought there -blessings


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