Prisoner of the Flesh
A New Heart and a New Mind...
The whole reason behind my getting a computer was so that I could put what I had written on paper on it and thusly send it to any interested publishers. It seemed to be the way things were now done. I've never written anything longer than a letter before. At best the longest and most frequent writing that I ever took part in was in personal journals.
Certainly nothing that would come close to what I hoped to be able to write as I began to feel led by God to write my testimony. Which is actually His. For without Him I wouldn't even be alive to testify of the miracle that has occurred within my own life. The true story of the years of my addiction-the hell on earth that it had become-and the only One Who was able to set me totally and absolutely free from them all.
There are two reasons, maybe more, that I strive to enter the realm of the unknown insofar as writing is concerned. The laying it all out there for the "world" to read and see the deepest, most personal parts of my being--and perhaps some of my darkest shame could be bit intimidating perhaps? But... I am no longer ashamed because it was those things, those choices that led me to Him in the end. Therefore I would take back not one single thing that was valuable in achieving the most wondrous event in my life.
My other inspiration for this endeavor is the addict who still suffers. Who still remains locked within the prison walls of their own flesh which they cannot seem to escape, no matter how many times they have , in themselves, tried. Those who, like me, find themselves bound by an addiction, or addictions, that have become a very real hell on earth within the lives of the ones who have found themselves desperately dependent upon substances, things, and yes, sometimes even people.
For those who know the experience of that which began as pleasure suddenly without warning turning into a monster within them beyond their own control. Causing a habitual state of turmoil and disorder within their lives and the lives of the people who love them as well. Not knowing how to "unlock" the doors of the ceaseless craving of their own flesh due to a lack of personal heart knowledge about the Savior Who came to set them free.
John 8:31- 36--"Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you stick with my Word, then you certainly are my disciples. And you will come to know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” They answered, “We are Abraham’s descendants and we’ve never been anyone’s slaves. So how can you say that we will be set free?”
“Let me emphasize this, everyone who sins is a slave to sin,” Jesus replied. “A slave doesn’t have permanent standing in a family, but a son belongs to it forever. So then if the Son sets you free, you will be free in reality."
Being addicted to anything through our flesh is indeed sin. Of course it wasn't until many years later that I 'discovered" this awesome truth. I had to go out and wallow in the biggest pigpens of life before I finally got my fill, as it were, and gave it all up to God. Because I tell you the truth, He saved me from various suicide attempts several times. I came to desperate points where I thought death was the only way that I would ever be able to stop sinning against God. Not to mention hurting everyone that I knew that I loved, even if I could no longer ""feel" that love.
During those 36+ years lost within the hell of my own addictions, the world did a strange thing and went and changed on me. Everything looked and sounded foreign and unfamiliar to me.
"Beam me up Scotty" once again became associated with Star Trek origins instead of keywords for a drug run. Much still looks and sounds foreign to me even today. 10 years later. Even so..I will give writing this a shot. My best effort although there may be intervals in between as a lot of it is still emotionally painful for me to recall-so I will need to take a deep breath every now and again.
I yearn to place before you HOPE, as I attempt to set forth the most profound Truth of all times. Also the bottom lines and the point blanks of the narcissistic selfishness of my life lived in the fast lane.For I was self-centered-drugs made you that way. It's all about me-me and more me and where my next fix is coming from.
This is an endeavor motivated solely by the Love that contains the message of freedom within it. One which I pray may perhaps touch other hurting, lost, lonely and enslaved souls such as I myself was. Touch them with the Good News that left Heaven and came to earth in the cloak of humanity to set free the captives from the snares of the devil himself. Opening forever those Prison cell doors that those who are bound by addictions can forever appreciate.
It is to those lost and wandering souls that I offer the Truth that can, and will if allowed, change their very lives. I'm talking about the Power of God Who sends the Holy Spirit to live inside our hearts at the time of our "letting go"-at the very moment of our salvation. -Who then begins to change us. From the inside, out. It's not our labor or work, it's His. He changes us from within-giving us a new heart and a new mind.
That ability to truly change lies not within our own selves, but in Christ. That Power to change so dramatically and lastingly comes alone through a relationship with the Person of Jesus Christ.
Not a head knowledge of the historical person of Jesus-but the heart recognition that yes, Jesus is exactly Who He said He was-God incarnate. Saviour of the world-Redeemer of all mankind, red and yellow black and white, we are all precious in His sight. The Lamb of God Who was slain from the foundation of the world so that you and I could live forever with Him through His death and resurrection on the cross of Calvary.
This Truth will cost you absolutely nothing, nada! Yet will set you totally and irrevocably free and fill you with the Hope that was meant to be yours always. Except this Hope--if sought diligently and first before all else? Will answer every single longing of your heart. I promise you.