Real Comfort in Pain

There is no one who has passed through the world and those of us in the world now who at a period or another would not experience pain. This was what the disobedience of our fore parents in the garden of Eden brought upon us all. No matter how happy one is, one would pass through a pain, the pain individual passes through though differs. Pains could be region oriented, racial oriented, sex oriented, career oriented and so on.

While passing through these kinds of pain individually it is certain that we shall respond to it. While responding to pains we shall be receiving different kinds of words without and within which are designed at comforting us.

Jason Inman while commenting on comfort says, it is like sleeping on a feather bed while discomfort is sleeping on rocky ground.

(Note: In this article, most of the call-out are Christian quotes on suffering and pain)

Comfort

It would be of interest if we can know few things about the word comfort. It is made from two Latin words: “com-” which is like a prefix which means “together with”, and the suffix is “-fortis” which means “strong or strength”. We shall discover that, another Latin word, “confotare” means “to strengthen much”. From this, we discover an old French word, “conforter” which is said to mean “solace” and “help”. These are being added to the definition of comfort. As time progresses, another French word evolved in 14^th century which means “to cheer up, console”. And by the 17^th century, the English version of the word adds the physical sense to it suggesting physical ease which we understand and use today. About millennium after this, the word went from “together-strength” to mean “pain-barrier”.

Grammatically, comfort is defined as a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint. Online Wikipedia defines comfort as a physical or psychological ease often characterized by lack of hardship. When it is used as a verb it shows that the object is in a state of pain, suffering or affliction and requires alleviation from the state. It is synonymous with consolation or solace.

Pain

The word "pain" comes from the Latin "poena" meaning a fine, a penalty.

Pain is defined as highly unpleasant physical sensation caused by illness or injury. Online Wikipedia defines pain as a distress feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli. The International Association for the Study of Pain defines pain as “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage or described in terms of such damage”. However, in medical diagnosis, pain is regarded as a symptom of an underlying condition.

From medicineNet.com pain is an unpleasant sensation that can range from mild, moderate and severe. It has both physical and emotional components. The physical part results from nerve stimulation that carries action potential to the brain where it would be interpreted, and the consciousness of man would react to it. Severe uterine contraction during parturition is called pain.

Biblestudytools.com says, “no pain is alike”. We should therefore know that pain could be physical pain, spiritual, emotional, and mental pain.

First, I’ll start off with Spiritual pain. I am a sinner. On another note sometimes I also fail him such that I feel a great pain in my heart.

Second, emotional pain, things that happen to family members, friends, I remember it even years after.

Third Physical Pain: Those caused by accidents resulting in injury on the body.

Some of the causes of pain are mentioned here. Albeit, this article focuses more on emotional and spiritual pain than physical. These more often than not deal with the unseen part of man which is the heart before appearing in the physical.

1. Jilted Lover: When a lover jilts his or her partner it will cause emotional suffering or pain to the person. When the wife of Samson jilted him, he through that attacked Philistines and destroy their lands. He did this because of the pan in his heart.

“But Samson's wife was given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend.

“And her father said, I verily thought that thou hadst utterly hated her; therefore I gave her to thy companion: is not her younger sister fairer than she? take her, I pray thee, instead of her.

“And Samson said concerning them, Now shall I be more blameless than the Philistines, though I do them a displeasure.

“And Samson went and caught three hundred foxes, and took firebrands, and turned tail to tail, and put a firebrand in the midst between two tails.

“And when he had set the brands on fire, he let them go into the standing corn of the Philistines, and burnt up both the shocks, and also the standing corn, with the vineyards and olives.” (Jdg. 14:20 & 15: 2-5)

2. Academic Failure: After given it all it takes to ensure that you succeed in an examination, but things turn the other way it would affect the person seriously. We have seen people in this part of the world who have gone insane because they failed examination. This happened because the pain was too much for them to bear and considering the loans taken and others, but the result turns out negative, the shock becomes unbearable for them that they come terribly down. Some in an instance as this have committed suicide.

3. Business Collapse: When a person takes a loan to establish a business as the people used to say here that white collar jobs are no where and each person should look inwards to what he or she can do and after taken the loan the business fails to succeed the person would be terribly hit such that he would be in severe pain.

This may have happened to the widow of the wife of the prophet in the book of second Kings chapter 4. She has been trying to cope with the pain for a while until her creditor adds salt on the injury and that she couldn’t bear any longer which necessitated her to contact the prophet.

4. Bareness: Throughout the world has this been affecting couples. Though the severity may not be much in the advanced world but in the third and developing world the effect is bad. An example of this is seen in what Hannah passed through in the bible before God answers her prayer.

“And he had two wives; the name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah: and Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children.

“And her adversary also provoked her sore, for to make her fret, because the LORD had shut up her womb.” (1 Sa 1:2 & 6)

5. Thief: Jesus says of thieves that, “the thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy:…” (Joh 10:10a) Thieves leave agonies behind which people would not immediately get over if they ever get over it. Some businesses have been collapsed because of thieves, adding sorrow upon sorrow of those people which they are yet recover from till date.

6. Kidnapping: The terrible thing happening in this part of the world now is kidnapping and asking for ransom from the family members of the people that have been kidnapped. Whether the person be released or not, before the person is released the kith and kin would have been in serious agony of heart. There was the history of a person whose only child was kidnapped, the parents died from the anguish of mind of their child’s kidnap.

7. Losing Election: By the virtue of being a one-time President of an alumni association I know what it means to lose election and to win election. Some would have spent all they have on the election with the hope that they would win the election but when things turn the other way, he may develop serious body anomaly that would result in the person’s untimely death.

8. Sickness: Take the case of the woman with the issue of blood for 12 years as a case study, she has been in agony of mind for years until she met with Jesus and she was healed. Sickness causes suffering and pains.

“And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years,

“And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse,” (Mar 5:25-26)

9. Disasters: Whether natural or artificial disaster none of it is good it is better imagined than experienced. Jesus shares the history of a disaster in the bible and one shall see from what he said that what happened left behind agonies.

“Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem?” (Luk 13:4)

When earthquake happened in the wilderness and the people were swallowed for gathering against Prophet Moses we shall recall that the anguish of mind they had still made them refer to the incident later to Prophet Moses.

“And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods.

“But on the morrow all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron, saying, Ye have killed the people of the LORD.” (Num 16:32 & 41)

Some people (like the writer) in the time pasts have noticed that some ailments happen to them on a season of the year. It is being said by the medical personnel that some sickness is common to certain period of the year, and those who have such ailments in their bodies are always encouraged to take care of themselves during those periods of the year. An example of such is Asthma. Yes, its crises can happen any time, but during cold period the people with a disease like this are always enjoined to take proactive measures against it. But can this be said of Pain? Does it have a period when it is more rampant than the other periods of the year? The answer is no, it doesn’t. Pain can occur anytime and any second.

Who are those susceptible to pain? Is it the old people or the young people, the rich or the poor? The answer is pain can get hold of anyone and at any age.

Womansday.com says we react differently when we are seeking comfort in our pain. This reaction (response) could be positive or negative. For some they would have to take a stroll, some would eat good food and drink their choice wine, some would be watching movie and all that. However, for those of us who are believers, what we should resort to while passing through pain is our bibles, for in it we remember God’s unchanging love for us.

(i) Quietly: Jason Inman says we can patiently respond to it as Christ did when alive for in 1 Peter 2:21-25, we see a Savior who accepted pain quietly despite having done nothing to earn it.

“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23 NIV)

(ii) Humbly: Our Saviour who accepted pain humbly despite having done nothing to earn it. Jesus does not avoid pain; He comes into our world and makes our pain His pain. He didn’t say we’d never experience pain, but He did say He’d never leave us.

When we experience suffering or observe it in the lives of those we loved, one of the most spontaneous response is to ask why? Why did my loved one have accident? Why is he jobless? Why did the disaster happen? Etc. During this period, we should know that we are not alone, and it is not a sin to cry during those periods. Despite those, we should know that we have a God who is able to handle those periods for us.

(iii) Fasting: King David’s response to the anguish of mind of the son Bathsheba had for him was through fasting, with the hope that God would heal the child. (2 Sam. 11)

(iv) Going Back: Some of the disciples of Jesus responded to the pain they have by going back to their fishing having forgotten what the Lord has told them. (Joh 21) Some people’s response to pain too is going back from following Jesus Christ, but we shouldn’t do that, we need to keep following Christ because pain happens to all and sundry in the world.

1. Miss Opportunities: Pain can make one miss opportunities because one would build a self-defense, round himself because of the prior experience and or what one is passing through now. It will take God’s grace to save the person he loves from missing such opportunities. Consider this for a moment, a person who has been duped on the internet, such a one would not want to have any serious dealings with unknown people on the internet again, even if the deal or business is genuine he may not wish to be involved because of the past pain he has passed through, through scammers.

2. Dodge Responsibilities: Jason Inman says one can evade several responsibilities when one is in pain.

3. It Exhausts the Person: It leaves a man empty, because it will drain the person’s energy.

4. Can lead to Repentance: The Godly pain can lead to repentance. Repentance in Greek word is “μετάνοια”, Romanized form is metanoia (pronounced as met-an'-oy-ah) which means compunction, reversal of decision.

“Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.

“For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” (2 Co 7:9-10)

Examples of this is what happened to Judah when he lied to his daughter in-law, Tamar and that one on discovering that she has been lied to also use dubious means to sleep with his father in-law. When Judah discovered that he was the one at fault, he regretted his actions and would not do such again. (Gen. 38)

Another example was the case of Samson, he was in pain and agonies when the enemies triumphed over him and removed his eyes. After this has been done, he regretted his actions and repented of what has happened. It was because God saw that he has repented that he could allow his power to fall on him afresh, and it was recorded that those he killed at his death were more than those he killed when alive and agile and thus could be numbered among those who have faith. (Jdg 16; Heb 11:32)

“And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets:” (Heb 11:32)

Jason Inman says, when we understand the word, “together-strength” according to the definition of comfort, we shall know how this comfort in pain can come. The followings are said by the man.

Know that God did not promise to shield you from pain, but he promised to be there with you. Apostle Paul at a time also despaired life, but he knows that God was with him. (2 Cor 1:8-9)

Peter Kreeft in his book, Making Sense Out of Suffering says, God did not give us pill, or placebo or wonderful advice but he came himself to experience what humans are passing through he suffered like us.

When we imitate Jesus by feeling the pain without apportioning blame, we shall find comfort in our pains. Jesus took the pain that was not his’ yours and mine because of his love for us. (Heb 2:18)

One thing is answered by Jesus coming to the world to suffer and it is that suffering is allowed in the world not because he does not love us, as some may have the notion of.

Ask God to know what you can gain from the pain you are experiencing. Of course, you will also want to tell him that he should remove the pain from your body. We pray to God for His comfort now and His supernatural relief from discomfort later. In this mode of thinking, God’s comfort represents a barrier between pain and us.

- We may also wish to ask for the reason behind the pain. Maybe the cause of it? Peradventure he can share such with us through the Holy spirit inside of us.

Seeing God’s wisdom in our pains and struggles would help us to be comforted while passing through such. (Rom 8:28)

"In spite of sorrow, loss, and pain, our course be onward still; We sow on Burmah’s barren plain, We reap on Zion’s hill". - Adoniram Judson

You may not know the cause and sometimes the purpose of the pain, but always remember that he loves you. Not all children would know why their parents do something at the initial, some wouldn’t know why at all. But in it all we should always remember that he loves us, because he is not like our earthly parents’.

Share you burden (or pains) with someone as Apostle Paul did (2 Cor 1:11)

Exploregod.com shares a story of a man, Joe Bayly (author of The View from a Hearse) who lost his three sons. Two friends visited him to comfort him during his pain, one said God may have a plan for that happening, while the other simply sat with him and wouldn’t talk except talked to and after he was leaving prayed with the man. Joe Bayly says, he cannot wait for the first man to leave, but he couldn’t bear to see the second man go.

Exploregod.com says, though the bible may not answer many of our questions on suffering, but it does shows us that we have a God who is always close to us amid our suffering, yea, a God who has suffered for us. Thus, the bible makes us know that pain or suffering would not be permanent thing, it is like a chapter in an entire story book of man.

Exploregod.com says, to understand what bible says about suffering and pain we need to know what the bible is. The bible is a concise account of the world: where it comes from, what is wrong it and what God is doing to set it right. This is Creation, Fall, Redemption and Restoration.

Habakkuk lived around six hundred years before Christ lived, when the nation of Israel was in great mourning and he asked God why, and for how long. But the response of God was not what he was expecting as he said he would raise Chaldeans to effect judgment on Judah for their injustice and transgressions. Habakkuk struggled to know how God would use that to deal with the problem of his people. Thus, he cried to him in prayers that, how could he use one evil to check another: “thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on iniquity: wherefore lookest thou upon them that deal treacherously, and holdest thy tongue when the wicked devoureth the man that is more righteous than he?” (Hab 1:13)

God being a loving father replied his servant’s query saying that he would bring all evil to account and settle every score. This may however take longer period than he thought but the judgment would come at the right time. In the interim, he told prophet Habakkuk to trust him and walk through this difficult season by faith, because “…but the just shall live by his faith.” (Hab 2:4b)

When you have hope in the future you will find comfort in your pain, but if you have lost hope, then there is problem. If not for the grace of God a man who losses his hope in the future wouldn’t have seen his child healed by Jesus.

“And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.” (Mar 9:22)

The word, “but if thou canst do any thing” is a hopeless word, he has lost hope on the child’s restoration to health and thought he would continue to bear the pain of the child. Jesus however told him that, “if thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.” (Mar 9:23), he saw his folly and the hopelessness in the word he has said and retraced his steps back and God has compassion on him and healed the child.

When we lose hope when we are passing through pain and other hard times, we wouldn’t be able to receive comfort in the pain. Think of what God has in stock for us after leaving this world, if we can have that at the back of our minds, we wouldn’t lose hope while struggling or in pain. (Rom. 8:18; Rev. 22:4-5)

Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychologist who spent years in a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust. When he was released wrote a book, “Man’s Search for Meaning” where he states, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

To find comfort in pain we need to know that we cannot do it all by ourselves, but we can do it by the help of God. Therefore, we should know that strength comes from God to overcome pains: 1 cor. 10:13; 1 Pet. 5:9-10

A ready character that would come to the minds of bible students is the person called Job, we can read and re-read his accounts when passing through pains. In one of his words he says, naked came I into the world and naked he would leave. Though feeling the pain of what has happened to him, but he did not let that weigh him down for he knows that there are people who do not have anything in the world but who are yet living, now if what happened has happened, then he needs to know that God does whatever he wills in the affairs of men.

“And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” (Job 1:21)

“Then should I yet have comfort; yea, I would harden myself in sorrow: let him not spare; for I have not concealed the words of the Holy One.” (Job 6:10)

One thing that we shall discover in the book of Job is that it is not all suffering that is associated with the law of Karma that governs the world. The law of Karma says when someone does good, he would receive good and vice versa, but his book shows us that the world is more complex than that and that we cannot know the reason behind all sufferings in the world.

When Job encounters God it settles all. Though on a critical look at the dialogue between Job and God one would say that Job did not answer God’s questions. But all that Job requires was encountering God during that crucial moment and when that happens, he becomes contented.

He has been given unto us to comfort and guide us in all ways.

“Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.” (Joh 16:13)

The speeches of victims throughout the centuries have cried out concerning the difference God makes amidst suffering. William Cowper was a Christian poet who suffered in no mean measures when on earth. It was on record that he was insane about four times, the numbers of times he attempted suicide cannot be stated and became weighed down by depression for long period including the last ten years of his life. During one of those periods he wrote to one of his friends, I write this with great reluctance because I know that I cannot say anything that will lift you up but what will distress you. I see hopelessness of everything, and my hopelessness is perfect because it is established on persuasion, that there is no capable help for me, even in God. From 4 a.m. till after 7 I lay pondering terrors, such that no language can express, and as no heart I am sure but mine ever knew. My finger-ends tingled with it.

In another write up he said, “One thing and one only is left to me, the wish that I had never existed”.

This is however not the sum of Cowper’s life as he shows another thought in one of his hymns which is hope, patience and faith in God. One of his hymns says,

“Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
but trust Him for His grace;
behind a frowning providence
he hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast,
unfolding every hour;
the bud may have a bitter taste,
but sweet will be the flow’r.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
and scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
and He will make it plain.”

Cowper’s life and works remind us that as prevailing as suffering is, God is more powerful. As real as suffering is, God is more real. As deep as suffering goes, God goes deeper. Corrie Ten Boom while suffering in a Nazi prison in 1944 says, “There is no pit so deep, but Christ is deeper still.”

Theodicy is defined by Alvin Plantinga, as the "answer to the question of why God permits evil". It is viewed as a theological construct that attempts to vindicate God in response to the evidential problem of evil that seems inconsistent with the existence of an omnipotent and omnibenevolent deity.

Online Wikipedia says Theodicy (/Ɵi:ˈɒԁɪsi/) means vindication of God. It answers the question of why good God permits the manifestation of evil, thus resolving the issue of the problem of evil. Unlike a defence, which tries to demonstrate that God’s existence is logically possible in the light of evil, a theodicy attempts to provide a framework wherein God's existence is also plausible….Gottfried Leibniz coined out the term in 1710 in his work Théodicée coined the term "theodicy" in an attempt to justify God's existence in light of the apparent imperfections of the world.

Though the bible has power to assist us in navigating through our suffering and pains but a more philosophical question that we need to answer is, “why did God create a world in which there is potential for suffering in the first place? If he is all-good and all-powerful as we claim him to be, why has he not eliminated the probability of suffering in the world?

To this question, Christians have come up with many theodicies that it is the problem of evil. John Milton in his Paradise Lost devoted his work to this.

The most significant response to this, problem of evil, is the “free-will theodicy” which comes from Augustine of Hippo (354-430). He taught that evil is the privation of good; it exists as a necessary possibility in a world of free, morally conscious creatures. From this postulation, if God wants a world without any possibility of pain, he would have created a world without any possibility of free choice or true love that is a world that is made up of robots but not people.

Origen of Alexandria (184/185-253/254) in answering the question says, God permits that because he is using evil to bring about greater good and it is called “greater good theodicy”. Most people fall into this category and would say if we can give the evil that happens more time, we shall discover that it will work for good.

Therefore, because of such possibilities and the finiteness of human knowledge atheists and agnostics admit that the Problem of Evil is a probabilistic argument. It raises a question for the theist but does not make theism impossible.

A Christian journalist Malcolm Muggeridge while reflecting on suffering in his life writes this: differing to what might be expected, I look back on experiences that at that time seemed especially desolating and painful. I now look back upon them with satisfaction. Undeniably, I can say with complete truthfulness that everything I have learned in my seventy-five years in this world, everything that has truly enhanced and enlightened my existence has been through affliction and not through happiness whether pursued or attained…. This, of course, is what the cross signifies, and it is the cross, more than anything else, that has called me inevitably to Christ.

Theodicies could be of help if we can answer the question of evil and God. If we say there is no God, then how come evil is in the world? C. S. Lewis when he started growing over his unbelief says,

My dispute against God was that the world seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line bent unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such violent reaction against it? A chap feels wet when he falls into water, because he is not a water animal: a water animal would not feel wet. Of course, I could have given up my idea of justice by saying that it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if I did that, then my argument against God collapsed too—for the argument depended on saying that the world was unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my private notions.

Therefore, suffering and evil are complications for everyone, theist and atheist alike. The theist knows why he hates them, because the theist believes that suffering and evil are a deviation from a real standard, a fall from a real good. The atheist, by contrast, must provide some explanation for why suffering and death are so tragic.

Exploregod.com says the film The Grey histrionically raises this question: If ultimately death is all there is, why is its presentation from a nihilistic standpoint so chilling, so haunting, so poignant? Why does Liam Neeson’s character so value the pictures of family members in the wallets of the other characters? Why does he call out to God for an answer, if no God is there to be implored? Why is death tragic, if death is king?

Podbean.com says when we learn from our own experience, we often have a deeper understanding of what it takes to get through this type of trial. I know that I never had a true appreciation for what a person goes through when they lose a very close loved one until I lost my father, and then my mother. There is a deep feeling of anguish that does not come from watching others. I have a much deeper sense of empathy for others now and it is because God allowed me to experience this trial myself.

Psa. 18:2; 27:13-14; 34:18; Isa. 41:10; Joh 16:33; Heb 2:18; job 5:11; 6:10; 1 Pet 5:9-10; Rom. 8:28, 37-38; 15:13; 2 Cor 1:3; Phil 4:6; Heb 13:5

The real comfort in pain is Jesus Christ, for he has suffered like us and thus he knows what it is we are passing through. When we go to him, he would help us navigate those pains. Exploregod.com says. in the world and our lives, there is nothing that can take away the difficulty of suffering. Some misery or pain, at least in life has no immediate answer other than weeping. However difficult trusting in God may seem, since rejecting God compounds the situation of suffering, then the wisest option is trusting in that God irrespective of what we are passing through.