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Rejection in Love

Updated on September 30, 2010

I'm doing a Beth Moore study right now over the fruits of the spirit. It just so happens, that God has really been dealing with me on the topic of love, hurt and rejection, Very strongly. I have missed every week of this study up until today. And it just so happened that today ~ We talked about rejection & Love. Dont tell me God wont come after us and take care of us in every way possible. Dont think it was easy for me to make this bible study either. A series of events took place last night, and I almost didn't get to go, But When God is in it there is no standing in His way. He will give men in exchange for you and people in exchange for your life (Isaiah 43:4) Anything is possible. SO i just wanted to share with you from my point of view what I got out of this study today. Maybe it will touch someone as deeply as it did me.

We have all been rejected in our lives. The deepest pain we feel from rejection is when we are rejected by one of our own. Like Jesus was.... (John 1:11  He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him) For us it could be A son, Daughter, husband, mother, father, etc. Anyone that you have invested time and effort into. Beth says, that a relationship is a prerequisite to rejection. The deeper I love the deeper I get hurt. Lets think about this because its so true. I mean we always say that "you only hurt the ones you love" we throw that phrase around and don't really even let the meaning penetrate into our minds anymore as to why that is? What causes the pain? What causes the hurt in a relationship? Rejection is a root of that pain, suffering, and hurt.

All we need to create an environment for rejection is a relationship. Rejection can wound deeper and last longer then a host of other injuries. It tempts us to invite things into our lives we might have never welcomed under any other circumstances. Think about this... What off of the wall things have you done to fill that vacancy that rejection has created? Rejection can empower us to act in ways we never dreamed of behaving. We have all in one time or another made stupid decisions in reaction to rejection. And it doesn't necessarily have to be rejection of us personally it could be rejection of an idea, or a thought, or a plan. Or like Beth says, it might not even be you, it could be people rejecting Christ in you. Just think of the reactions you have had towards rejection.

I know people say that, God will put that one difficult person in your life, that one unlovable person in your life, to Love. God does that. But I can say that I have a few of those people in my life. And I have become that person in my own life. That unlovable person, that person I have been rejecting is myself. And because of that like Beth states, if we don't allow God to treat our rejection we will see life through the tint of rejection for the rest of our lives, and we will punish others that love us.. We will reject their love in return, and the cycle just goes on and on. Now I know that God really wants me to get this love thing down because like I said, He has placed a "few" of those unlovable people in my family and I need to get this love thing down right. This has been the one things hindering me in so many areas. Because remember without love we have nothing we are nothing but a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.(1 Corinthians 13)

Think about it. How many times have we looked at our spouse and said, I chose you, you don't measure up, I reject you. You aren't good enough, you have messed up. I will forever hold you accountable and make you pay, EVERY DAY. How many times have you said to yourself. Self, I don't trust you, you just cant measure up... You are nothing, i reject you. You will never be good enough. Why would anyone accept you?

How can we accept others when we reject ourselves?

She makes such a good point, and I love this. Because so many times in my life I have seen myself, doing for others, and sacrificing for my kids, and going out on a limb and giving and giving till I'm just GIVE OUT and i think what is the point Lord? its all blowing up in my face, I open my heart, and i get hurt.You tell me to love, you say that true love never fails. it never falls, it never drops off or away. And maybe it doesn't for YOU God, because you are mighty and you are holy, and true love never fails for YOU, but it does for me. it has failed for me, I tried, I did, i lost. I opened my heart up, I gave it my all, and it blew up in my face. What a burden we carry. BUT, and this is what was so amazing to me, is that, Your love didn't fail. God was there. He saw it even if no one else did, He saw your heart, felt your love, and it didn't get rejected. He received it. You will wear a crown in heaven one day for all of that love that you gave whether or not it was received by the person You were giving it to or not because in the end, God, the only one that truly matters, He recieved that love. He saw that love, he felt that love, and because of that, Love never fails.

How are we to know the value of being accepted if we have never before been rejected? So many times I have felt rejection, it started way early in my childhood, and I have worn the tinted glasses of rejection all throughout my life, Eventually just expecting to be rejected. I looked at people to be my Savior. Being accepted in EVERY area of my life by my husband used to override my need for acceptance from God. But I was never good enough. I was always doing something wrong. Oh what I would have given to be that perfect person in my husbands eyes. Never feeling that rejection.  I was Always longing for that deep love, trying to be good enough for it. But last year God spoke to my heart very heavily and He kept nudging me to read the book of Isaiah.  I didn't understand why cos the first part of the book is kinda boring, but when I got on towards the back it talks about God moving heaven and earth for me. He was showing me that He was the only one that would NEVER reject me and that I would ALWAYS find my acceptance in Him, NO MATTER WHAT. He wanted me to see that I was looking to the wrong things for that love. The only thing that mattered was His acceptance, no one else s.

See God gives us a desire in our heart, a longing for acceptance, and to be captivated, and sought after, that can only be fulfilled by God himself. We try and find it in all sorts of things, but those things always fall short if not in the beginning they do in the end. But gratefully, I can say Thank you God for allowing me to be rejected because through this, I am learning that without that rejection, I would never EVER see the true value of your acceptance of me, your deep unfailing love for me. Leslie Patton. And for that I am forever grateful.

I hope that this reaches someone out there that has been searching for as long as I have for answers to healing that pain that we receive from rejection. Because we are going to be rejected, no matter what, people aren't perfect, in one way or another we are all going to fail, in some form or fashion, in someones eyes. But God created a way for us. We don't have to let our hearts crust over and stop loving because we don't want that hurt anymore. When we love we are loving God. No matter who it is. Its God we are loving. We can trust in God that He will see us through and know that He is the only one that can heal that pain caused from rejection. And He will, He will heal us with His love, when we open our hearts to Him and allow Him to.

The scripture that God used to show me the depth of His love for me:

Isaiah 43:1-11

But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.

4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.

5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.

6 I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'
and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth-

7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made."

8 Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,
who have ears but are deaf.

9 All the nations gather together
and the peoples assemble.
Which of them foretold this
and proclaimed to us the former things?
Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,
so that others may hear and say, "It is true."

10 "You are my witnesses," declares the LORD,
"and my servant whom I have chosen,
so that you may know and believe me
and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor will there be one after me.

11 I, even I, am the LORD,
and apart from me there is no savior.


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    • Helengi profile image


      7 years ago from London, England

      I can't thank you enough for this hub. I've been in a really dark place having ended a relationship a year ago that I then tried to rekindle this week. The rejection was intolerable - I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and felt sick. I prayed to God to help me and deliver me from the agony and I've searched all over the internet for answers. I then read your hub and halfway through I was released. My physical pain has ended and I totally get it. How can I be feeling rejected with the creator fighting my corner? Praise to our unchanging Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you and may God bless you always.

    • profile image

      Susie Vanier 

      8 years ago

      we do all go through this and rejection is hard, but the Lord never rejects us no matter what we have done... The Love of God is so awesome... Love ya Leslie and this is really is a uplift....

    • profile image

      Raven Miller 

      8 years ago

      Love it chicka!!!!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Leslie ! You got it! That is it, we don't look for human to love us like we feel we need. Only that love kind of love can come from God. I never thought of it the way you just explained but YES ! This is it... that desire we have in our hearts for love a deep love can't come from humans... it comes from God.

      Good stuff , good stuff........and when we learn this, get it stuck in our head we will not feel rejected anymore.

      Thanks for sharing! No wonder there are no perfect husbands! lol


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