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Religion as a tool for creating what you are not

Updated on April 22, 2016


Is religion the opium, like communists once asked, of the masses or is it the what lives underneath the vanity of the damned by their own contempt of truth in spirit?

Was the totality of human life the means to the ends in seeing spirit and if so was there any one person that would have been a person of real history that would have been of interest? For me sometimes I would like to meat Ginsberg, Joan of Arch, the first rebel in known history not in the order, a single cell organism unknown to man in words or description yet just to see the electricity in its form, and a period in time that was never named by life. Strange that i would want to meet the first rebel, maybe the spirit of it or the meaning of time to stand in it when it wasn't and think about the present meaning of time inside that space.

I appreciated the times in the lighthouse and I would image that their is many things I would have written different in the history of life yet that script was written when the meaning of light was sent, prior to the meaning being seen. If that is the hand that touched the life and then yes I would have seen it in the ones I loved and the lives I lived.

I walked the many beliefs I carried in life, had I seen the cast in my own life I still, in life, would have fell to my knees and said I am all that I believe, all the cast members. I was Judas, Mary in my mothers, Peter in work, John the Baptist by fire of belief, Christ on my own life, the sacrificed child, the spirit of the light I walked on my path to see myself and the costs of life. I was Kali, in destroying fertile minds of life and seeding destruction into the womb twice in history, not my womb yet in shared kindred work as Peter, her and I were in the times we were many. Had I knew how connected our energies in life were, then we would have still happened in another time too. I was the book of Eli, carrying a word that no one knows and a Dharma that was never in the hands of the seated tamed hearts, yet I knew them not in their minds whole. That they gave, I received. Buddhhist crushes and they showed my Heart what I am in a whole, trash. Thanks to a Pema or nun, and a battle rattle. Her walk, will be in flowers.

I was Romeo in some aspects , pinning for love. I flew high like Icarus and burned my own wings in Zen temples of music I could always stand in, judgment of Heaven and Hell. I was the cartoon would be hero, then slapped down for racism that never was. I was all moral sins in 90% of all the Earth's religions, that man made and women shamed. Children would, not in youth know reason for. I was the accursed one in an ancient one, and Eve, and Adam as Cain was Able too. Then in native lands, I like the hanged sweat lodge torture trance by music of near deaths, many a time. I had seen the millions bulldozed to Earth's home, the land.

I saw Tsunamis take thousands to home in the sea and have their remains feed the starving in the fish that they eat in thanks of Earth's bounty. I resurrected the Jews by the millions as ash fell to the land in the World War II cost, and would see them in the crops of foods that fed Europe and millions afterwards, to birth life again in the distance. I saw that Christians were in legion to the justice they wanted, judgment. I saw innocent children tortured, adult children as well. I saw the innocent, righteous and damned projections of feelings thought and taught try to judge places that my life never touched and then find ultimate forgiveness my Heart song, even for the tormented.

Knew my words of tortured help at the hospitals concealed the pain I wept at home, that my filthy life judged by some healed the lamed and damned by their loves and life was my walk. That I lived in my belief, carried my Karma and watched the walks of others in suffering was true. They had not liked that it was my life, and then they know that saving face is not Grace, nor Mercy. Had death not even lived on the Earth, then it was. Call it life, call it constant being.

I cried too much for the meaning of spirit inside religion, it gets me every time how something that was meant to be so beauty sends children to Hell for nature is children's gift, to learn in a safe life and to learn instincts, senses and shared love. I would judge and then settle for my Heart, that is the life though "Tell me I am wrong, shame my heart, blame me, curse me, put me in chains and then say it is for my good." It was always for them, their needs and I asked for help to be tortured, and told I was a diagnosis and then acted my part and shamed again for being their diagnoses. They shamed guilt and shame out of my life as a child, I will never have it in my heart. It is gone, shame and guilt.

I was then damned, over and over in love. I would love a tree with leaves and bark for they are gentle and kind and always way their branches in the wind when I speak softly and teach them their story. I learned sewing from sewers, when I knew sewing. That implies to many aspects of teaching and student, yet I am not in school or university now, just watching the free movie of life. The one that never ends. You only see it from glimpses when you wake in time periods, and say "Hey, I recognize something in you." or "You look like, or familiar."

I went to Ashrams, temples, monasteries, churches, and the Church of the Earth as a planet under foot. I was refused to participate in some reindeer games with the other naked spirits, and by naked I mean not awaken. I sat and looked once and said "They do it too." It was alright because needed, once to be in the light of the idealized, or longed for even though in Christianity not many crucified them self literally to the wood, some did but many laid down their lives in assistance and many slaughters millions with eyes closed and hearts to the hell's they made. Arguing back and forth traditions is the work of the sin that bore it life, creation. Not in life, yet in the penning Hell, right away. Call it the way you read a book, many like to skip to the juicy bits, "What is going to happen if I sin your religion?"

I don't really have religion, I like to visit different places and see what happens in churches and even on the streets to see people walking around. I think I wonder "Are they?" Never really matters unless you ask, I would say that not always the best topic but I was handed "The Stoning of St Stephen." At a church of false pretenses here, that I joked was the joke. I told my companion that the following Ash Wednesday I went to his church and instead of my head for Ash, I ran to the basement to find the dead Ashes locked in the perpetual torment. I heard that the red carpet door was not the palms that Peter lay in every house. It was in a different context to the ancient past, as man is Peter too sometimes.

In other temples I made burnt offerings and had colors thrown on my face, then questioned in work to where I was, as if I questioned their black crosses on their heads. It was not always so much fun, and nothing for nothing is still memory and there by dealt the Devil a blow that stuck it's Heartless soul into damnation. I refused a deal, all really and would Mercy my life in the mud in two worlds of knowledge. One in the hours of sleeps that never end and then the trance that eternity knows, even the years of thoughts cost in their thinking. May it not happen right away, it is.

I always liked the thought that people were parodying my life, because it makes them the casts of their inner life and beliefs. It makes me appreciate the roles I watch too. It is the muse life that they seek too, to show what monkey see monkey do does to their morals. That is what they lost, they damned their morals and I would see it to the eternity falls into the place it brings us all too. I can last thousands of years in perpetual Hell, I like it that they do my life in front of my face. They had in time, laughed and prepared my whole life to damnation. I would let the hurt do anything they wanted to, as long as they were happy. That is truth, that the tortured in innocence and righteousness, and the damned need to vent too. I would burn in Heaven to shame the Angels their damnation of God's creation. Saving three that would in land be fallen again, in nature. That three in one was more than four was the belief to fly above them in all things true of nature, and accept we all had happened lives and livings in and out of lived loved lives.

I loved more than I fought, fell more than I counted and would fall in eternity to save freedom from slavery to another type of freedom. See choices that are all choices. I could hear all the soul missing off the tracks and the souls missed the station, had it been in the Station it was never the cross, it was nature that people the fields of belief. The imprinted their beliefs, on nature even the dead in all that matter. I would see energy as light to fuel the light of heaven's sun and see that it means something which no words were called once, before a planet or the disc tree of life in a hand spread out in the layout of ancient times, never to be again in that light/. In times that know no meaning until it watches up to the meaning of the future time we walk into, shielding another event.


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