ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Self Inquiry: The Inner Road

Updated on October 2, 2012

A Child's Game

When I was a small child, I played a game with myself. It was called “Who Am I?” I was an only child so I spent a lot of time with myself and became very adept at the art of self-entertainment. This was one such entertainment. At the time, I was completely unaware of the depth and importance of this game in my life.

This is how the game was played. When I found myself alone in a room, I would place myself in an unusual position, usually upside down or spinning in a chair. Then I would ask myself “Who am I?” My mind would happily answer:

“You are Jean. You are a girl. You love horses. You have long hair.”

The list would become quite long and I’d get bored with it, so I would then place a challenge. The next question was “But who is it behind those things?” I knew somehow that the list of things my mind ticked off was not who I was. There was something else than just being Jean and all that embodied.

At some point during this part of the game I would experience something strange. All those definitions would fall away. When they did I was left with a very expansive and crystal clear experience. The unfortunate part is that it’s very hard to explain. It defies my intellect to this day to be able to state it in written word. There are reasons for this, and I’ll explain in a moment.

The Discovery

I played many pondering games as a child. Not just “Who am I?” I also played “What is God?” and “How Big Is The Universe?”. They were worthy games because they didn’t come with easy answers. I could really sink my teeth into them.

This habit led me to the practice of meditation as an adult. I never followed any specific discipline or technique and still don’t but it was the natural progression to continue myself down the inner road. Interestingly, The Game was forgotten somewhere along that road. Life happened, landscapes changed, memories ebbed and flowed over time to which I was mostly unaware. It’s very interesting in retrospect just where all these changes led me.

After a series of life changes and what I considered monumental blunders, I found myself beginning a life in India. I should have mentioned that I’m an American, but this fact really wasn’t pertinent until this point. I married an Indian man, so my life has become very East meets West.

My husband is much like me. He values self understanding and his own lifelong journey down that inner road. One day in passing he asked me if I had ever heard of Sri Ramana Maharishi. Admittedly, I still struggle with Hindi and I have a hard time retaining Indian names, however I was sure in this case I never had. So, like every other curious human being with an internet connection, I Googled him.

I discovered this unimposing little man was, and is, considered one of the world’s true seekers. He was a master whose devotees follow him to this day even though physically he is no more. Like all masters he had a core philosophy. His philosophy was quite simply self inquiry or “Who Am I?” His teachings were really never more complicated than that. He encouraged his devotees to meditate on those 3 little words and nothing more and the answers to all their questions would be revealed.

That’s when I remembered The Game and it all came flooding back with a new clarity. I found my adult mind struggled to move beyond the list of definitions my mind had spent a lifetime creating but I persisted. As a result my understandings have deepened beyond even my wildest dreams and I’m still tumbling happily down the rabbit hole.

Hidden Treasures Revealed - What I've Learned

There is nothing mystical about our true nature. It is the most natural part of us. Poets and sages have written about it, danced around it, hinted at it. Religious tomes have exalted it. It is the umbilical that connects each one of us to existence. Before I wax too metaphoric, let me state what I discovered as plainly and simply as my intellect will allow me to do:

"Experiencing your true nature is to feel your own consciousness."

A life time was spent searching for something that was right in front of my proverbial face since I took my first breath. It’s as simple as that, but ironically so hard to do until you actually do it. The maddening irony is that we already know it, we already experience it, we are just unaware of it.

Becoming aware of it was like waking from a dream-filled slumber into the warmth of a bright spring morning feeling exhilarated and alive. What I experienced was so amazing I couldn’t stop with just this realization. It was just the tip of the iceberg.

The deeper I went into self inquiry I found the demands of my physical ego losing control over my thoughts and subsequently my emotional state at any given time. As a result, I have more clarity in situations where I would have previously crumbled in a tempest of conflicting thoughts and emotions. It’s clarity as clear as a clean window. Moving through life’s currents is becoming effortless.

This new clarity has also allowed me to be more present. My mind isn’t littered with an endless stream of thoughts, worries, second-guessing, supposing, and assuming. There are still errant thoughts but I can see them for what they are and not give much attention to them unless they’re truly necessary. I am freer to just be.

There are other realizations along the way as well. Once you experience your true nature you find a quiet sort of empathy for life, realizing in all its facets it is what it needs to be and that’s perfectly okay. You see the connectedness of everything. Reality has become something infinite and wonderful.

And as I mentioned earlier, putting any experiences deeper than this into words begins to fail. The realizing moves beyond the scope of the intellect to digest it and communicate it. You can only experience it and let that experiencing flow through you out into the physical world, like the ringing of a silver bell in the fog.

I wanted to share this with you, the reader, in hopes of inspiring something if that’s what you were seeking. I can tell you without even a moment’s hesitation that it’s real and it’s always been there waiting for you to discover it. I don’t know where this road ends. I suspect it ends only in infinity but the vistas are beautiful and well-worth continuing the journey.


Hubbing is fun! If you enjoy writing and want a great community to be part of at the same time, sign up!



Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Moon Lightened profile imageAUTHOR

      Moon Lightened 

      6 years ago from Delhi, India

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read and to comment. Inquiry is the key to open many of those doors, isn't it? It's definitely a wonderful journey. All the best to you!

    • HolyMosses20 profile image

      HolyMosses20 

      6 years ago from Hammond, Louisiana

      I saw your hub in the related hubs section while looking to see if there was any response to my latest hub. Beautiful story~I am glad for you as I have become a self inquirer myself very deeply after my accident. I found Mooji on YouTube which led me to Ramana Maharishi as well. Hubing is a wonderful to share and meet other people. May your inner light continue to shine brightly!

      Namaste~

    • Moon Lightened profile imageAUTHOR

      Moon Lightened 

      6 years ago from Delhi, India

      Thank you for reading, Enlydia, and especially for your comment! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • Enlydia Listener profile image

      Enlydia Listener 

      6 years ago from trailer in the country

      Interesting and well written. Rated up.

    • Moon Lightened profile imageAUTHOR

      Moon Lightened 

      6 years ago from Delhi, India

      Sorry for the late reply, dpsingh. Thank you for reading and for sharing.

    • profile image

      dpsingh 

      6 years ago

      Great blog.In this blog the great Idea given by writers for self Inquiry on the road. http://www.yngmedia.com/

    • Moon Lightened profile imageAUTHOR

      Moon Lightened 

      6 years ago from Delhi, India

      I love your comment. Thank you!

    • sunkentreasure profile image

      BERNARD LEVINE 

      6 years ago from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA

      I SEE GOD By BERNARD LEVINE

      I see God

      In the patterns on butterfly wings

      Lighting the lamps in the skies

      Kissing a new-born child ‘I love you'

      Anointing a doctor's hands.

      I see God

      Smiling as we praise and worship Him

      Sending us daily miracles and blessings

      Preparing a special place for us in paradise.

      Working His wonders for us to behold all over!

      © Bernard Levine

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)