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Setter or Retreiver -- Which one are you?

Updated on May 19, 2013
Congregational humor
Congregational humor

Every Sunday, breeds from every religious denomination gather together for services within their respective Houses of Worship. Close examination of congregations conclude that the most common breed is the infamous Pew-Setter. It can be difficult to recognize a Pew-Setter as it highly resembles its’ purer counterpart, the Soul-Winning Retriever. There are several ways to identify and distinguish between the two.

The Pew-Setter’s actions, though not usually malicious or intentional, might best be described as learned behavior. The typical Pew-Setter attends all Worship services and activities; stands when directed; sits when instructed to do so; Amen’s on command and occasionally speaks or testifies when prompted to do so. This lineage usually stems back several generations and, unfortunately, has a misplaced sense of ownership. This progeny usually sits in the same spot and can become secretively, and in some instances, boldly indignant when an uncommon breed happens to take up residence on their perceived, reserved dominion.

The Pew-Setter tends to be very vocal and simply has no qualms about offering criticism about anything or anyone. This particular mutt seems to have an overwhelming urge to how loudly when changes occur and will never admit that he/she participates in and often orchestrates gossip. This tracker uses its’ nose to sniff out private information regarding others and unwittingly disguises the information as a prayer request without contemplating any damage that may result.

In sharp contrast to the above description, one can easily detect the Pew-Setter’s rare, purebred counterpart, the Soul-Winning Retriever. The Soul-Winning Retriever also attends morning, evening and weekday Worship Services; however, should an uncommon breed take up residence on the Soul-Winning Retriever’s territory, he/she welcomes the newcomer, retrieves personal details such as: name, address, whether or not they attend another House of Worship regularly and then is forthcoming with an invitation to return often. The pack that the Soul-Winning Retriever hangs with welcomes all new breeds. This beloved jewel genuinely tries to form a lasting friendship bond that is not isolated and reserved specifically for visitors.

The Soul-Winning Retriever strives for joy and peace. This exceptional pedigree endeavors to share the Gospel outside of the church walls, is highly educated in God’s Word, follows God’s directives and takes his/her Spiritual walk very seriously.

This Soul hunting hound is always on a mission, sniffing out witnessing opportunities and providing assistance to those in need. This thoroughbred has a keen awareness and uses discernment when another seems to be in distress or going through a difficult time. This hound will relentlessly pursue every avenue, until all venues have been exhausted, in order to provide assistance.

Trust is a particular plus with this bloodline. Listed as an exquisite gem, in a class by itself, this thoroughbred studies the Word of God regularly and retains Scripture for use at an appropriate time. In addition, the Soul-Winning Retriever gives to others, as directed by the Holy Spirit, and earnestly attempts to win lives to Jesus Christ. A feat of this magnitude can only be accomplished through a genuine expression of love and concern toward others, both inside and outside of the Tabernacle. Inside the Sanctuary, the Soul-Winning Retriever receives the weekly message and inspiration from God’s Holy Word and immediately releases this message into the world upon completion of the service.

Through the words and prophecies contained in the Bible, a remarkable promise has emerged. Hope is not lost for the misdirected Pew-Setter or any breed for that matter. This poor, mutant breed can be transformed instantaneously into a Soul-Winning Retriever. As a matter of fact, all breeds must be transformed. This change does not require DNA manipulation but simply a true acceptance of Jesus Christ as Personal Savior, surrendering everything to Him, repenting of past discrepancies and last but not least, a few lessons in……………….obedience training.


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