ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Should Christian Couples Be Kissing Outside of Marriage?

Updated on October 23, 2015

I am the only Christian I can think of that does not approve of premarital kissing, which bothers me to no end. In fact, when I tell other Christians that I believe it is wrong to kiss a person’s significant other before marriage, they laugh as though I’m telling them they shouldn’t eat pork. However, before you dismiss this discussion as stupid and unimportant, consider that there may actually be a problem with our current moral standards.

First of all, when I say “kissing”, I do not mean a peck on the lips to say I love you, such as a kiss you would give your mother. I am speaking of the kissing couples engage in to gratify their physical desires. Some try to argue that kissing isn’t quite sexual, it’s just passionate physical intimacy, but those are the same thing.

Sexual:

  1. 1. Relating to the instincts, physiological processes, and activities connected with physical attraction or intimate physical contact between individuals.

Kissing is extremely sexual and that’s why it would be wrong to make out with your Dad. If it wasn’t sexual, then making out with your Dad wouldn’t be incest or homosexual. However, if you would rather use the term “sensual”, we can do that too.

Sensual:

  1. 1. The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.
  2. 2. Of or arousing gratification of the senses and physical, especially sexual, pleasure.
  3. 3. The condition of being pleasing or fulfilling to the senses.

Both are deemed wrong by the Bible. Physical intimacy such as kissing is both sexual (activities connected with physical attraction or intimate physical contact) and sensual (gratification of the senses and physical, especially sexual, pleasure). Here are some of the numerous verses that forbid such acts:

2 Peter 2:18 - For, speaking loud boasts of folly, they entice by sensual passions of the flesh those who are barely escaping from those who live in error.

2 Peter 2:2 - And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed.

Ephesians 4:19 - They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.

Galatians 5:19 - Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

2 Corinthians 12:21 - I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 - For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

Romans 13:13-14 - Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

There are a thousand more spread throughout the Bible.

Responses:

“As long as kissing doesn’t lead to sex or lust, it’s okay. Everyone has their own line and should set their own boundaries.”

Unfortunately, the problem with kissing, as just discussed, is not that it may lead to something else. We don’t use kissing as a hello to all our friends and it’s not some tribal ritual we do with our families to stay healthy. Kissing is wrong outside of marriage on its own, whether it leads to sex or not. The line doesn’t move around based on the person. Making out, making out while laying down, making out while laying down in bathing suits, making out while laying down naked, and making out while laying down naked and exploring another other person’s body are all wrong for every individual no matter how much self-control they may have.

“Don’t you think it will be awkward if you haven’t even kissed someone by the time you get married?”

Yes of course it will be awkward, but that’s something a married couple can share and go through together without comparing to other experiences. Kissing and other sexual activities are very special and should be shared only within the bounds of marriage. I’m not expecting to be my future wife’s first kiss, because that’s not what people are generally taught to do, but I would hope that she comes to agree with this principle. Abstaining from these things till then also shows the commitment you have to your future spouse.

Apart from these biblical reasons, I also believe it’s not a beneficial life choice in general. Some people, especially women, have said that they feel kissing is more intimate and memorable than sex. Adding a physical bond to a relationship you can’t guarantee will last, is very dangerous and can be very damaging. Kissing your partner is almost like making a commitment to them which is then broken if the relationship does not work out.

In 1 Corinthians 6:18, God sets sexual sin apart from all other forms of wrong doing: “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” However, not only is it wrong, but it can also cause emotional and relational problems. I don’t look down on people who have engaged in such activities outside of marriage, but I do pray that they change how they think.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      J. Moore 

      2 years ago

      I agree with you

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)