Some Nigerian Urban Legends - 1st Stanza
I find it interesting that I have to write about this, ‘cause you see I’m a big fan of urban legends – and I’ve always been intrigued by mysterious tales that even though defy rational reasoning, still leaves one questioning...and even fearing.
I’m a sucker for anything with some horror in it; really. I hate it when a material, be it a book or a movie is too happy-like. Sometimes even, when the good guy – you know the protagonist in a novel or movie gets to live through to the end and all, I almost hate the book or movie for that! Sometimes. I know, I’m a madman. You don’t have to tell me, I know.
But here’s the thing though – I love my country; it’s a great country, very fun and all. Forget all the other stuff you hear or watch on CNN – stuff about 419 and scams and all that crap; it isn’t nearly that way at all, you can take my word for it! – But I gotta admit something to you here right away: Nigeria is a pretty weird place, no kidding. I mean, I love my country and all, but it’s true; and I’m gonna show you exactly what I mean in the forthcoming paragraphs.
We’ve got a pretty good number of urban legends in our country, you’d be surprised. But trying to cover all of them, from all the tribes in six geo-political zones of the country? Forgetaboutit!
So here’s what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna talk about the four most prominent urban legends in Nigeria – these legends are so widespread in the country, that no one really knows its origins. So lets’ go!
The Bush Baby
Zoologically speaking, of course, the bush baby is merely an arboreal primate native to Sub-Saharan Africa. But I’m not here to talk about the animal, not really. If you really wanna know, that kind of Animal Planet stuff (with the exception of lions) bores the crap outta me, no kidding!
I’m here to talk about the mystery spirit baby whose cries are heard from bushes at night. It is said, that the baby was abandoned by its mother in the bushes, left to die. The soul of the baby now haunts the bushes, crying every night for its mother.
Not much is said about the baby being dangerous or anything like that, except that you’re never supposed to see it, ‘cause if you actually see the baby, you’re dead – that stuff used to scare the hell out of us when we were kids, no kidding!
I remember back in the day, when it would be bedtime and all, and you’re just about to catch the shut-eye and everything, and then all of a sudden, you start hearing the cry of a baby from the nearby bush – almost as if the baby is just right next to your window. I would run to Mommy, fast!
The thing though is, I never quite figured out those cries, no one ever did. I mean, when you’re all grown up, the legend of the bush baby becomes a real big joke to you, right! A whole pile of horse crap, right! But how do you explain the cries? One might say it could be the true bush baby, you know – the animal. But here’s the thing – there is no way that a bush baby could live even anywhere near my home. Don’t ask me why? A bush baby couldn’t live anywhere near my home, as much as a unicorn could live anywhere near yours. But you can’t exactly rule everything out, right. I mean, you could be living in fairytopia or something, right?
Bush baby – used to scare the living daylights out of us.
No one really knows who the Lady is, or how she came about. But one thing seems certain – she’s a witch, who wears high-heels. The name Koi-Koi came about from the tapping sounds her shoes makes when she’s walking.
For an unknown reason, this Lady Koi-Koi likes to torment young girls. Therefore finds it convenient to visit girls’ dormitories and hostels. Girls will come home from school and would tell you weird tales about Lady Koi-Koi. They could be sleeping in their beds and all, and then around midnight (it’s always around midnight with these stories) they start hearing high heels tapping - koi koi koi koi. And you have to lie in your bed, quiet and still, and not get scared or anything – ‘cause if you do, she’ll take you with her. No one really knows where she takes her victims, but the guess is that it’s not anywhere pleasant. I mean, no one thinks Lady koi-Koi shows up to take you for a picnic or something…I mean, you would be the picnic!
So, there have been incidents where the Lady Koi-Koi has appeared, and the girls hear her high-heels tapping and all, and then suddenly some girl gets really scared, and starts screaming like mad, and then all of a sudden – I hesitate to say this - starts levitating in the air, like she’s being pulled away from her bed by an unseen force. I know, pretty unbelievably, right. But I know a pretty good number of people who would swear that they saw this with their very own eyes. I’ve never met a victim myself though. I would love to interview them myself. You see, I plan to make a movie about it someday.
Lady Koi-Koi is a pretty old urban legend in the country. And it’s pretty unique one though, ‘cause the Lady is supposed to be sophisticated and all, wearing high-heels and everything. Not exactly what you would expect from an African Witch tale, right? Admit it! And the Lady has this mystery about her, like no one really gets to see her face or anything – so we don’t know if she’s beautiful or ugly as hell. But some claim to have seen her feet, and her black heels. And Oh yes, her shadows, too. People always see shadows of stuff in urban legends – that stuff kills me!
…to be continued