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Speaking With Spirit
Together In Love
The Start of My Journey
In the days, weeks and months following the crossing over of my husband Craig I experienced many things to tell me that he was still near, that he was still looking over me, and as I began to realize - was trying very hard to connect with me.
These were days of absolute heartache, but somehow in the midst of all of this pain and loss there seemed to be a promise of a new beginning. I could feel it, but I just could not totally imagine it, nor could I put a name to it. I carried on day after day trying to find solace in my memories, while at the same time daring to imagine that we could in fact "still be together".
The gifts I was receiving were all wonderful but somehow or other I could not get over this void - this feeling of not ever seeing my love again, feeling his arms around me and most of all never hearing his voice again. I remember one day a conversation that I hadwith him. It was in those final weeks of his life where he was lying in bed with me sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. He had called out to me as he needed to be shifted around a bit and when I sat down next to him he said "you must get so tired of hearing me calling you". To which I immediately replied "no Craig, I do not get tired of hearing you call me, because one day I will not hear your voice or hear you call my name". Immediately I regretted saying that because at that precise moment we both burst into tears. But it was an honest statement, said with honest emotion and I could not take it back.
Whispering In My Ear
What Are Those Thoughts That Keep Going Through My Head
The days, weeks and months moved forward and we were approaching Christmas. One morning when I was in that state of half sleep/half wakefulness - I stirred, and as I was opening my eyes the precise thought went through my head "Just you and I". I rolled over to my back and immediately replied out loud "Know true love ways". And then on the heels of that, thought "where the heck did that come from". Nevertheless, in the following days I was reminded of the Buddy Holly tune "True Love Ways" and I smiled.
Another day, I forget what it was that happened, but the thought went through my head "That was delightful". This was not a term that I ever used, nor the word "delightful" to express my pleasure at something. This was something that Craig would say. However, at the time I thought to myself "Now I am starting to speak and think like Craig". And off I went to do whatever it was that I was doing.
Shortly after Christmas - as a matter of fact it was two days after New Years Day I woke up in the morning, once again in that "just waking up" mode and heard "Lynnie, loving you from the other side is easy". Again, this was not a voice - but very definitely was a thought that ran through my head. Would I say that to myself?? No - but I immediately replied "I love you too Craigie". I have to tell you that this was one of the most wonderful feelings I'd had since his passing. I got up with a big smile on my face and was ready to face the day. And what a day it was. There was a huge gift waiting for me, but I do not want to tell it here, because it is part of my book "A Breath Away".
Then I started remembering how sometimes in the middle of the night I would wake up and say out loud "yes Craigie" or "no Craigie". What was I saying yes or no to? I do not know, but it is obvious that I was conversing with Craig, somehow, and in my sleep. Was he whispering in my ear? I do not doubt it at all!
Through these months of grief, and my activity on different message boards I met a gal from Kentucky. We had much in common since she had lost her husband two years before. We shared our stories and experiences with the various signs and messages we were receiving. Then one day she suggested that she thought Craig would like to connect with me on the Pendulum. Indeed she had asked me a while back before this if I would be willing to put together a list of about 10 questions that she could ask for Craig to answer, through her husband.
I put together 10 questions, the answers to which she would have no way of knowing. She came back on email a couple of days later and gave me the answers - all of them correct. Then one day she encouraged me to try the pendulum telling me that she felt very strongly that Craig was trying to connect to me in a much stronger way. I said I would think about it, and immediately put it out of my mind for a couple of weeks. Quite truthfully I was afraid to do this. Then one day I decided to give it a try. I searched on Google and got information as to the proper way to go about this - i.e. saying the proper protection prayer beforehand. What did I need to say a prayer for? Is there a suggestion of bad spirits that could intrude? It seemed so.
Eventually I started, and by looping a gold twine through a birthday ring that Craig had bought me I felt I had the perfect pendulum. I started off with deciding what way the pendulum would swing for yes and no. Then I asked if I could please speak to the spirit of my husband Craig and to my shock the ring started to swing yes. I don't need to go into all of the details here, just to say that this was very exciting. I could not believe how high and fast that ring would swing on certain questions - "yes, yes, yes". I could feel the energy and I was thrilled. Then I graduated to the alphabet where I could get actual messages. I did this on and off for about two weeks and then I started getting scared. To be perfectly blunt here I believe I misunderstood a message at some point and I got nervous, and the more scared I got, the worse it got. Had I encountered a bad spirit?
I actually went to a candle shop one day to buy the appropriate stuff with which to "cleanse my house" . When I told the girl in the candle shop what I wanted it for, she immediately said "you don't have any bad energy around you, if you did I would know because I am a medium". That was a relief, but I still went through with the cleansing and now I can envision Craig grinning all along as I went from room to room with this smoking white cedar and sage. The end result of this though is that I decided that I did not want to go on the pendulum any longer. But what I did learn in this period of time of using the pendulum is that more and more I was already knowing what the message was going to be before it was spelled out. I was learning telepathy! And ultimately I thought "surely there has to be a better way to do this".
One night and just shortly after I went to bed I was trying to think of a way that I could still get messages from Craig, without using the pendulum. This may sound bizarre to some, but please know that I am neither crazy nor delusional. This is very real. Recognizing that we are all energy, and that when we die, we simply shed our physical bodies but our spirit lives on in the form of energy, I decided to ask this question. "Craig, is there a way that if I ask you a question you can somehow use your energy to slightly move my body muscles (at the time I was laying in bed so I said my lower body) back and forth, up and down -whatever "twice for yes" and "once for no" and immediately my muscles contracted twice. I was kind of shocked, but then again not much, because of course I had felt his energy around me many times in this last year - either by a touch on the head or a movement on my bed. We were off and this was the start.
It was gradual but over this last year I have learned to have telepathic communication with Craig where I hear his thoughts go through my head, recognizing totally that they are not "my thoughts". I eventually realized that I was not just relying on "yes and no" ; I was having conversation, because indeed I had already heard thoughts earlier on, but didn't necessarily tune in to it. Sometimes I can hear his message with no difficulty at all, but when I can't get the message, and don't freak out at this, he can move my body slightly to and fro - upper body if I am sitting, so slight that no one would notice - and I can get every word he is saying.
Why is this? I don't really know, I can only guess at a number of things; we have a very very close bond - everyone who knew us says that; I remain very open and imagine I always have been . Apparently we all have a psychic ability; we just have to learn to hone it. Our spirit inside each and every one of us is energy, and maybe my energy has learned to vibrate at the same level as his energy, in other words I have raised my energy consciousness. If I am taking a walk around my neighbourhood, quite often I can have a reasonable conversation, in thoughts with him, and it is very clear. Is it because I am walking and using more energy? That then would explain why a simple movement of my body by his energy helps me get the message. All of this ! It has not always been easy, sometimes still I got scared and/or angry, but it has been months and months now and we are in such a perfectly beautiful spiritual relationship that I can no longer deny it. He has tried very hard to connect with me and of course I love it! Love never dies, just as energy never dies.
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