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Stuff in church that gets on my nerves

Updated on July 16, 2010

A Mixed Blessing

Funny how church can be uplifting and annoying at the same time,
Funny how church can be uplifting and annoying at the same time,

The truth will make you free

 I love church and I love being a Christian.  But I don't love EVERYTHING about church.  In fact, there are some things that just get on my nerves.  I think it was Ghandi who said he liked Christianity, he just didn't like Christians.  I can understand that, sometimes.  So here is a partial list of things I find annoying in church.

1.  People who answer everything with some cute slogan.  You ask them how they are doing and they can't say, "FIne", or "OK", or even "Lousy".  No they have to say, "I'm blessed and highly favored."  Oh, good grief!  Slogans are all right sometimes, but once in while I'd like a simple answer.   

2.  People who let their children cry and cry and cry.  Take little Pookie outside, the rest of us are trying to listen to the sermon, or the song or the prayer.  I don't mind when they talk, or when they squirm or make noise.  But when they start that wailing, you need to take them out and see what is wrong with them. 

3.  People who sit on the end of the pew and won't move to let you in.  You don't have to stand up or move over.  But at least move your legs a little.  I have to climb over you like I am at a football game and then you give me a dirty look because I stepped on your foot?  You've got to be kidding me! 

4. Cell phones.  These things have a vibrate button, a mute button and and off button.  But I have heard people's cell phones go off at funerals, weddings.  And then some people are so crazy, they actually pick the thing up and say, "Hello", and start talking.  Sometimes I wish everyone in the church would stop what they are doing and just look at the person.  Even when they make an announcement for people to turn their cellphones off or turn them on vibrate, there is always someone who totally disregards the announcement and then their phone goes off. 

5.  Ridiculously slow songs.  Some songs are meant to be slow and some slow songs are really beautiful.  But some songs are not meant to be slow and yet people sing them so slowly that you could go to sleep and wake up and they are still on the second line of the song with two more lines to go.  Just crazy. 

6. So-called gospel songs that are just R&B songs with the words changed around.  Just sticking the word Jesus in a song doesn't make it a gospel song. 

7. People who constantly talk about the devil.  The devil did this.  The devil did that.  They never talk about God, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit.  Only the devil.  Kind of makes you wonder which side they are on.

8. People who say the people in church are all hypocrites.  Like there are no hypocrites on their job.  Like there are no hypocrites at the grocery store.  Like there are no hypocrites at the bank.  Like all the church people are hypocrites and the person talking is not.  Ha. 

This is just a partial list.  As I said at the beginning, I love church even with all these little irritations.  But the truth is very freeing.   Feel free to share your ideas on this subject.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.   


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    • bjspivey-rivers profile image

      bjspivey-rivers 7 years ago

      Thanks Robertbloggert,

      I like the Pastor idea, too. Might serve as a warning to others as well! God Bless you.

    • Robertbloggert profile image

      Robertbloggert 7 years ago from Oklahoma

      This was good and very funny. I have so thought the same thing on the cell phone issue. Though it seems most people do the opposite and go overboard trying to ignore the idiots. I like your idea much better. Would be even funnier for the Pastor to come down and stick the mic up to them. Ha ha!

      Great read BJ I'm glad I hopped across you.

      May God bless all that you do and may his Grace and mercy follow you all your days.

    • bjspivey-rivers profile image

      bjspivey-rivers 7 years ago

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment and I will pass on the information about the video. For the most part I try to be at peace with it. These are irritations. They aren't the end of the world.

    • Thamuss profile image

      Thamuss 7 years ago from Oklahoma

      I'm imagine that most of your concerns are concerns that many Christians feel. We have a video clip that we show at the beginning of services every few weeks. We got it from and it is a pleasant reminder for people to turn off their cell phones. I think most people respond well to it, because its a matter of people simply forgetting their cell phone is on ring.

      Most of the issues are common sense items. I hope that things go well for you and you can not be distracted by these things.

    • bjspivey-rivers profile image

      bjspivey-rivers 7 years ago

      Thank you for your kind comment. I am glad you felt the spirit of what I wanted to say. I tried not to come across as angry because I'm not. I appreciate your encouragement.

    • coynea profile image

      coynea 7 years ago

      This was a really "fun" read. It's skeptical not cynical. Well done!!