ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Suicide Is NOT a Solution

Updated on April 12, 2012

This past Monday, a brother and friend of mine ended his own life. I had not spoken to him in some time, we had drifted apart only communicating every few months, but still every time we spoke we seemed close. It is a good memory to remember all the old party days of our youth, and all of the time that we had spent together. We would raise our beers and say: “we would be brothers forever.” What had happened? What was going through his mind that he felt his only recourse was to take his own life?

I was told that he was struggling with some inner demons, and he must have felt such great despair that he could not reach out. This makes me very angry, but, nonetheless my feeling of loss for my brother is a great burden. I asked myself questions like: What more could I have done? Could I have reached out? Why didn’t he call one of his brothers and reach out for help? And, the two questions I struggled with most these past few days is: What is going to happen to him? Will God remember him in heaven or is suicide a sin that cannot be forgiven?

Do Not Fear

As I contemplated these things, and asked myself these questions I spoke to a very close friend of mine, one of my spiritual guides who has helped me throughout the years. He asked me what I thought about suicide, to which I gave a half-hearted: “I’m not sure.” Then he reminded me of Jesus’ words in the book of Matthew chapter 10: And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Killing the Body

We are not to fear anyone that can kill our bodies, which include ourselves. We have the freedom to commit suicide. Satan fills our minds and hearts with so much dread, depression and longing that we all feel that we are going to kill ourselves, and sometimes the power of evil is so great that we are compelled to finish the task. However, those individuals did not destroy the soul, they only destroyed the body. God is merciful, and God has complete understanding. Some people who get to the point in their lives that they cannot reach out, that they feel abandoned and they feel so alone are in desperate trouble because Satan will do anything in his power to make sure that the person does not pull themselves out from that very dark place. He wants you to struggle, he wants you to suffer and he wants you to do evil and sometimes we, in desperation, depression and agonizing loneliness take our own lives.

Destroying the Soul

Well, with that being said, the body can be destroyed by human means, but we cannot destroy the soul. We who kill ourselves only destroy the body, but it is the Lord and the Lord only who can destroy the soul. However, He is not one who goes around destroying people’s souls. His desire is to bring us up out of death and bring us home into His Kingdom. One of the greatest misconceptions of this life is that once we die, then those who are wicked go down into hell and are forgotten—that is farthest from the truth. All of mankind has the living breath of God; we all were created from the dust and intertwined with His breath—with His Spirit—why would God destroy His own Spirit? We as Orthodox Christians remember the dead, and we continue to pray for their souls to find mercy and well being. Of course they are no longer alive, but nothing stops us from continuing to pray and send up our supplications to the One who can destroy the soul.

The Intents of the Heart

In every situation, we are held accountable for our actions—and one day we will be judged by our choices. In my thinking, suicide is no greater sin than any other. God will judge the intent of the heart of the individual who is doing this self-inflicted act of violence.

But, before I go on, let me say that suicide is wrong no matter what is going on or how we are feeling. We are taking the place of God when we decide to place our lives in our own hands. The wake of suffering we cause when we decide to kill ourselves is great, and the act of suicide in itself is a selfish and cowardly way out. We end things for ourselves, but the pain we inflict on our families, our friends and loved ones is something we do not take in account when committing suicide. We have not ended the pain we are feeling, we only bring that pain to the forefront of everyone’s mind. The pain the person was feeling in now amplified by inflicting that pain onto many others.

My brother, my friend, committed suicide and even though I am sad and sorrowful—I am more angry then anything. I am angry at the fact that he took the path of least resistance. I am angry that he did not reach out for help. I am angry that he was selfish in his choice. But, with that being said, I am sad because I no longer have him in my life.

What was going on through his mind that he could not, and would not reach out for help? Sometimes, the power of the evil one’s hold over us is so great that we follow his lead—we end our own lives. I know I have felt the urge to take my own life, and anyone who says that they have not felt the urge to commit suicide is a liar. It may have been a single thought or it may have been many thoughts throughout a span of time—but, we all have had those thoughts. Satan’s task is to make God suffer through inflicting pain on His creation—on God’s very breath. Satan is the father of lies and deceit. He studies us, he takes time to watch us and he prepares his assaults with precision tactics that sometimes leads to suicide. Some of us are not strong enough in our lives, and are not in the position in our lives to resist such a deceitful and scheming foe such as Satan. Sometimes man is so far from the reaching hands of God, that we are found lost, broken and in pain. But the truth is, is that we never are out of reach of God’s love—but, the illusion that Satan puts forth tell us so. The mind is our greatest weapon—for and against us. God judges the intent of the heart at all times in our lives—even when we commit suicide. He will look at what was on our mind and He will judge us according to our state of mind. God is merciful and understanding in everything. Every choice, every action, every word that proceeds from our mouth will be judged and measured against the intents of our heart.

I Am Not the Judge

We are to fear only the One who can destroy the soul and the body. We are to fear only God. God is love and perfect love casts out fear, and remember in Greek perfect means whole: whole love casts our fear. We cannot say who will enter the gates of the Kingdom and who will not. We are not God. God will judge the intents of the heart with impartiality and justice. He will weigh and measure every action and choice as a wise and perfect Judge. He will look at our crimes and He will measure it against His will. But, we should not fear, we have an Advocate that came to earth and paid the price for all our sins. Jesus will stand beside us before the Father and will help us plead our cause. God struggles within Himself in the judgment of mankind because He wants to see ALL of His creation saved and with Him in Heaven.

We cannot say God will send those who have committed to eternal damnation, but we can say that God will look at the mind and the intents of the heart. He is the one and only impartial judge of our souls.

I find great comfort in the fact that God is merciful AND understanding. I fail every day. I sin every day. I have evil thoughts every day. But I also keep trying to become a better man and Christian. I am far from perfect, and I would we happy with a few crumbs from the Master’s table—but, God wants more for us. He wants to give us the mansion built for us. He wants to bring us to that place where there are no more tears and no more suffering. I am praying that God will have mercy on my brother’s soul, and will judge his heart. My brother was a good man. I loved him deeply and I will miss him.

Reach Out For Help

If anyone reading this and is thinking about suicide, STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. There IS someone who loves you out there. There IS someone who will miss you. You WILL cause your family and loved ones great pain and suffering because of their great love for you, even if you do not see it when you demand it. Learn to love yourself first and then love others around you. Whatever you are going through is no reason to take matters into your hands to such a finality. We will pray for you. We will love you! The struggle within, I know and understand is a real and constant struggle. I myself have had great turmoil and have had to find reasons to keep on going…but, I always have found a reason to keep on going – hope… a better tomorrow… a chance at something better coming my way. I find myself not wanting to disappoint God, my family or friends. I want to honor them when I die, I want them to remember me the way I was.

Suicide does not solve any problems. Suicide only adds problems to the lives of those around you—the people who love you, care about you and you create an emptiness in those you were on the track to meet in your tomorrows. Most of all, you are never alone because of the love Christ has for you. Seek Him out. Look for Him and He is there. The answers are there and I hope that you will reach out for help. Visit a local church and talk to a priest, talk to a friend, a family member – just reach out, keep connecting with others - we've all been in situations that we feel oppressed by and we can't seem to see a clear answer, there is an answer you just don't see it yet – call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (in the US).

Grace and peace to you my brother, I love you much!

In Loving Memory:

Curtis L. Richardson,

August 9th 1975- April 9th 2012

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Vasilios Emmanuel Glimidakis 

      4 years ago

      Dear Richardson and other families,

      I am sorry for your loss. May his memory be eternal! God bless him and his family.

    • IronKnight profile imageAUTHOR

      IronKnight 

      6 years ago

      I pray you are well. Thank you for your generous comments, but the credit is due to God for allowing me to process the suicide of a close friend that drifted away, that was conned into believing that his actions would end his problems.

    • profile image

      sylvia verduzco 

      6 years ago

      we need more writers like you,post them as much as you can wherever you can.my life life changed one from day to the next, not in a good way either.I know that nomatter how much pain ,how much lonliness, regret for the i should haves that might of saved him,overwhelming feelings of sadness,bitternes,anger abandonment,betrayed ,no matter that my feelings were crushed, I know that those are only feelings that not worth taking my life and hurting my family.no way would i put my family through more .I don't wish this on anyone.oh how i regret that awful day i also regret that i diddnt pray that day for i know if i had it would not have happened.so important to pray everyday all day read your bibles everyday put on gods armor all the time don't snooze cuz you just might lose . I pray to the most high my father in heaven that never leaves i pray for our familys God bless our world amen! sylviaverduzco01@yahoo.com

    • profile image

      sylvia verduzco 

      6 years ago

      we need more writers like you,post them as much as you can wherever you can.my life life changed one from day to the next, not in a good way either.I know that nomatter how much pain ,how much lonliness, regret for the i should haves that might of saved him,overwhelming feelings of sadness,bitternes,anger abandonment,betrayed ,no matter that my feelings were crushed, I know that those are only feelings that not worth taking my life and hurting my family.no way would i put my family through more .I don't wish this on anyone.oh how i regret that awful day i also regret that i diddnt pray that day for i know if i had it would not have happened.so important to pray everyday all day read your bibles everyday put on gods armor all the time don't snooze cuz you just might lose . I pray to the most high my father in heaven that never leaves i pray for our familys God bless our world amen! sylviaverduzco01@yahoo.com

    • IronKnight profile imageAUTHOR

      IronKnight 

      6 years ago

      Yes, he was. He will be missed.

    • profile image

      sylvia verduzco 

      6 years ago

      hi,i was his girlfriend very good articule I can relate to all of it.Im so in love w him. Curtis was like the best person always,theres no words that can tell you

    • profile image

      Kenya Craig 

      6 years ago

      I know my husband is also heartbroken by this situation. They were cousins and grew up together and were very close. Sad all they way around.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)