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THE ALMOST PUBLISHED: Diary Of God
I ALMOST FEEL STUPID: The Diary Of God
CAUTION: IT'S A DIARY SO THERE ARE TYPOS AND UN-CLEAR SENTENCES and maybe fragments! IT'S a freaking DIARY! NO DIARY IS PERFECT! Not even GOD's! Or at least this one.
OKAY..... now you can read!
Diary of God 9/14/16
I always thought that I was outside of myself. Apparently I wasn’t. I was always here. Here inside of myself and never beside myself. LOL; I sound a bit vain, but who cares. I was the one, who invented every word, meaning, and must I go on! If I do, then I would be just showing off. Mostly to myself that is; so I guess it’s not that bad.
Being the creator and the only one it sometimes got a little lonely. So I decided to change things up a bit. I could say I was once an introvert but I became an extrovert. Introvert; meaning that I was only looking into myself as one and got bored. And then an extrovert; meaning that I needed something extra to entertain myself.
I know the biggest question that man (meaning flesh) has is who created me? Me as in GOD; okay, I just thought about that for five seconds and I almost felt like my head was about to explode. I guess the answer lies in my previous sentence. There was some kind of big explosion. Maybe there was before there ever was? Actually, that is stupid. Okay, here is the best answer I can give. Which is no answer; because I even hid the answer from myself for a reason that I do know: because if I told the answer, it would get into the wrong minded souls who are sleeping that could cause much destruction or even manipulate an UN-DIVINE GOD.
Of course! That makes a lot of sense now that I just realized it. Thank GOD for GOD (me).
I can give away one little secret. Well, I take that back because this is my diary which is going to have a lot of my secrets told. This is where I should just say, “WHATEVER!” A very fond word of mine but a very popular one in regards to lovers, friends, family, and etc. You know what I mean. Actually, I just forgot what secret I was going to tell as I was writing the previous thought. My bad.
So just this past summer of 2016 I realized who I was. And by GOD, I am God. I’m everywhere and I only know this because I was the one who created everything; duh.
For instance, let me paint a picture for you. Like the episode in the Twilight Zone when the guy with the glasses and his books are the only ones on earth. The books are his creation that he loves and reads. He is happy with all his books. But in the episode he breaks his glasses and can’t see anymore. This means he can’t enjoy his books. He is alone and blind; until he finds his spare glasses and sees again. But here is the catch; he learns how to teach his eyes to see.
When I see another human being whom I created, which I dwell in, I am able to see pass all the flesh judgment and see myself in him. And I love him; because love is the whole of my true being.
I ‘m not really sure if you know what I’m talking about because I’m talking to my sleeping self and boy can I judge and throw more than a stone but kill because of my anger.
Boy, I must really know myself to throw that curve ball. However, I am everywhere and give myself clues where ever I go so I can be on the right path of redemption. I actually set myself up for failure so I can really believe that my own being and all other beings are me (GOD) and all collectively one which is me (GOD). Sounds crazy, I know. I think, actually I know that I set it up that way for my own humor; but like a painter, he is never satisfied and keeps fucking with the painting; then he forgets what he had in the beginning when he first started.
I know I created VANITY 6 because I wanted to see my own vain indulgence in my own divine power. Goodie-two-shoes me; I had to learn how to trick myself in order to bring myself back to the surface of the divine thought; because I was working with a part that wasn’t divine; however, I knew how to change it to the divine but it would have to go through the gamut of the flesh life.
I have to confess. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. Let’s just say that I became full of myself and ran amuck and I’m trying to clean up the mess. I’m GOD; what do you expect? For me to be perfect? But yes I was in an un-perfect way; because that is what happens when you try to be overly perfect when you are already perfect. You can kind-of fuck it up.
I made the game harder than I thought that I’m summing up back-ups to save myself. Well, I guess I knew this was going to happen. I did it for a reason. The reason was the best solution to have a universal alarm system in place. It was the only option I had! I swear! I swear on my bible!
Speaking of the bible, I thought the parables would tell men (flesh) that I was meaning metaphorically and not literally. Jesus Christ! Do I need to be completely such a give a way!? I wanted the journey to be fun and rewarding; not depressing and boring!
You know I’m just venting to myself.
For example, remember the time when you wished you knew what you knew then and then you keep beating yourself up about it? Well, that’s how I feel.
If you haven’t figured it out already, as you read this, I am writing it to myself.
Let me explain: every person born from the womb is me (GOD) aka, I AM. Collectively it is one body and one GOD.
And if you don’t understand this now, you will soon understand it. Just don’t say that I told you so! Because I just did.
Why did I do this? If I told you, I would have to kill myself and nothing would cease to exist.
I can tell you one thing; once you (I am) begin to wake up within you; I have left many ‘signs and wonders’ that will astonish you and even make you laugh uncontrollably.
One thing that really frustrates me is trying to talk sense in myself when I can’t because I have set the path for every soul which is mine to do what it needs to do to be part of the Kingdom of Heaven.
If you still don’t understand; it’s like giving your friend the answers to the pop-quiz because everyone takes the same test and one guy wrote down all the answers. Only I (me) (GOD) know the answers but I want to be an honest student and earn my crown in heaven.
Long story short: THERE IS NO WAY AROUND IT. I put in place a path for everyone to gain access to the kingdom of heaven. It’s a series of obstacles to test your faith. It can’t be avoided. We will all go through the darkness before we get to the light.
Diary of God 9/19/16
I can’t believe that I can even get tired of myself. But this is nonsense, because I was lonely and now I have more than myself. More than myself to deal with; and what many (which is me in different forms because I’m everywhere and in everyone and every animal and critter) don’t understand is that they are not what they see in the mirror or reflection or action of another animal.
In order for me to be me at my full capacity in the flesh in a material world, I have to put myself to this outrageous test. For example, when you forget who you really are, you get caught up in another existence that doesn’t have any merit.
I want to make sure when I finally find out that I’m God; I will fully accept it.
Okay, enough about the divine talk. I will start to vent about what I had to go through before I knew that I was God.
One of the biggest obstacles that I went through was actually even pondering the thought that I was God and I was present in everyone else which in theory, collectively was my whole body. Sounds absurd; and actually fucking crazy; and I almost want to have one of those buttons from Target that said, “That was easy!”
It’s far from easy. Sometimes it’s really sad and at times I cry myself to sleep thinking that no one knows. No one knows me when they should. I’m only looking into myself. Why wouldn’t I recognize myself? It wasn’t my intention to be strangers here on earth. I guess I thought to highly of myself to think that would ever happen. Instead the word ‘loathing’ comes to mind because I made myself different colors, and races in different regions. Because I did that it only made things more difficult. And remember in my previous diary entry; I set in place an alarm system that could destroy or even exterminate. I know, it sounds mean and how could I do that to myself. But like vampires, I (we) never die; we just repeat in another physical world like this to get it right so we can join the family in the Kingdom of Heaven.
My flesh being here on Earth has a hard time understanding but it’s not about understanding. Fuck! Sometimes I wish… never mind, I’m God and I am the power. Now I just got my whole point. What I was trying to say is that I need to keep the faith in myself and set an example. I already set in place for all my souls in the flesh to wake up. Why would I be so frustrated now?
I guess the only thing that makes me frustrated is knowing the truth and unable to convince a soul because their time is marked on the calendar in to which date they will wake up and know that they are God too.
But you can understand my frustration, right? I know. But they don’t know. And I want to tell everyone, but they would just think that I’m fucking crazy.
It’s like pinning the tail on the donkey blind folded and you are not blind folded. Your best friend is blind folded and you’re trying to tell them where to pin the tail because you see everything.
This is probably why I decided to start a diary so I can be a witness to my own self. I have to account to something in my world. I thought I did when I wrote the damn bible but my fucking sleeping self just ran with it and told it in a literal way. It’s not to be taken LITERAL! They are fucking parables! If I wasn’t God; I would only regret writing the Bible in which I did. Have you the preachers today? I know it’s me, but for fucks sake! I’m just confusing myself with that Bible of mine. I should have just written a diary first. UGH!
On a more positive thought… at least I created the Apple phone. One of my best inventions; and it was supposed to be a sign to myself. Hence, Apple; like the forbidden apple. If you (me) don’t know what I’m talking about, then your eyes are still shut to the ‘signs and wonders’ and boy are there so many of them when your awake! Lyrics to a song, billboards, gas stations, bumper stickers, and even a tattoo on someone’s arm; I of course mean that these signs are directed to me.
Not to change the subject; but I have an …
Diary of GOD 9/27/16
Sometimes I wish I … okay I take that back because I’m so full of love that I can’t even say it. I take all the negativity back. I’m God for Christ Sake! I’m fucking everywhere! And yeah I can say ‘fucking’ BECAUSE I was the one who created that fucking word in the first place.
I feel like I can’t even snap myself out of it unless I go to the EXTREAME. It’s the only way I can get the attention of myself.
Everything was created for a purpose to keep all of (mes’) on the right track. In the end is the goal, but I always lose focus of it because I created too many obstacles and very intriguing situations.
Let me name a few: mary jane, lust, food, candy, sex, control, cars, drugs, etc. You know the list. What is my favorite? My answer: LOVE
I’m only saying this because the one who is writing this book right now which is my individual which is also me (GOD) has finally understood this thing called: LOVE
I (as the individual) always knew about it because that is what I was created from. All that exists was created with LOVE. It was the first thing (action) implemented into the mix.
I created a game to follow the LOVE CRUMS until I (GOD) finally wake up in the being in which I am: Bob, Susan, Edward, Brenda, etc.
I (GOD) will come like a thief in the night. You will never be prepared for the time that I come to you with this FANTASTIC message that will hit you more frightening than any atomic bomb.
I remember when it first happened to (her) which is me writing this who is also (GOD). All I remember is that I jumped back down to my knees to get free to get back to the divine being that I was but who was in a deep sleep.
I could never really explain it to any being in the flesh because I would be called: MAD.
We are in a maze to get back home and that home is to wake up as GOD.
All of us collectively are ONE GOD.
GOD doesn’t make mistakes right? But GOD can make things very intricate to the point it may seem the system has some flaws. But without flaws, we (I) can’t see the perfection. DUH!
But I knew that of course.
However, I’m now thinking about the battle between the darkness and light.
I’m both. So lets the games begin.
It was set up to prepare the way. Later, you will soon understand this. If not in this lifetime, the next.
SOME DARKNESS SHOULD JUST KICK a can! It will get further then the stupid plans you have for mankind.
This is GOD.
Diary of GOD 10/05/16
I have an idea of how much love I have for mankind. It hurts so much when I see the pieces of my family which is my whole body as one. The love I have for the brotherhood is sometimes unbearable. If I can only talk sense in the flesh but I can’t. I made it that way for the journey of faith in something that you can’t see.
When I’m awake in my own dream, I remember many things. I created my son and he died. And I cried. I cried so much I flooded everything. The only way for me to bring my son (female/male alike) back was to reside in that in which I created.
My love matches my rage of jealousy towards any of my children who begets me.
No one ever dies but is restored back to life in a place just like this to dream the dream until they wake up as me (GOD) himself. In which we are married and become one.
You don’t know my son, unless you know who I AM. And you don’t know who I AM unless you know my son.
What does that mean? It means that you have to believe in something that you can’t touch or see in the flesh.
It’s called: FANTASY DOES FUCKING EXIST! Stupid idiot!
The only way for everything to work in the entire existence that exists is to place FEAR in front of everything. When I say everything, I mean everything.
For instance, fear in anything that LIKE AN ANT is carrying a crumb across a forest. Watch out for anyone bigger than you and respect them or they will crush you and you have to do it all over again.
I have a list of names that go on and on. According you everyone’s move; some move up and others move down. All this happens when the actions are changed or corrected.
I gave all my children the FREE WILL to do as they wish; however, there are consequences to all decisions and actions.
Like the game MONOPOLY; I gave everyone a free get out a jail pass. Not just one pass; but as much as you need to get yourself out of those pathetic bars of misery.
This ‘get out of jail pass’ doesn’t have to be earned. It’s a gift from me (GOD) and you just know how to access it; you can get yourself out of any bad situation or put yourself in a better one.
The directions are embedded in your imagination.
Your IMAGINATION is the ‘get out of jail pass’ ….. duh!
Imagine yourself out of a situation.
Imagine yourself in a bad situation.
Imagine yourself………….. but you must believe in it in order for it to work. If there is no confidence, no believe, no faith, and then you can’t access this power. Also, you can only do it in LOVE.
It only works if you use it lovingly.
Yes, I made it that easy! But in today’s society or galaxy; this may be more difficult than easy.
It won’t work if you have the following in your mind: GREED, JEALOUSY, ANGER…. OR ANYTHING in that negative nature.
And it’s the best way to get to the road of BLISS… aka: Heaven on Earth.
Let me give you an obvious hint: That burning desire… that emptiness that you feel and the crazy goose chase that you are on 24/7 that seams endless and your never satisfied is the feeling that can only be appeased by the knowing that you are GOD and all of us collectively is one body and one GOD. Once you know this and walk the path of LOVE; then the search will be halted and you will begin to wake up in ECSTASY every waking day and have the urge to tell your fellow brothers and sisters because we are all in the same path to go back home. And our home is HEAVEN. First HEAVEN on earth then back to the source; which is the ultimate SURPRISE!
Diary of God 10/20/16
How much do I love myself (HUMANITY); OH it was just a little experiment that went straight to the love of my heart which is my HEAD actually in human terms.
The amount of love I FEEL is sometimes unbearable because I see my family suffering but it’s in good terms and there is really no suffering. I just want to expand myself and keep expanding.
The human body can’t withstand the amount of love that the open mind of a human being could take in from the source; which is pure love.
I’m pure love.
It’s scary and it’s beautiful all at the same time.
I feel trapped here on earth but for good reason.
LOVE that recognizes LOVE is atomic. I can create waves and cause destruction in its path. I have already pre-destined humans to do a certain duty to keep me focus on the end.
The end of the evolution of man is the end goal for all of us. US that is the same is me (GOD).
Why did I create man?
It’s more complicated than you think. “I hate them!” the angels said.
The angels became jealous because my love towards my creation of man.
And my punishment to the angles was to cast them down to have children with men so they too can learn of the love I have for them.
When I say punishment, I mean gift. I gave a special gift to my angels. The gift was to pick their favorite human and marry them and wake up as me (GOD).
This way they experience the LOVE I had in the beginning when I created them.
Tears that drop from a human are angel tears of the angel who has chosen the wife or husband.
I have created all as one with the same mind and soul.
But until one is chosen; then human by human wait for their time. An angle can’t pick until the human itself has accepted the spiritual world and opens the door within.
All angels bad and good are working together to save everyone.
The fear of the LORD is upon us.
Good and evil are working together. Good and evil equal one divine that is more frightening and beautiful all together.
Diary of God 10/25/16
The moment you know that the love surrounds you, it makes you cry with joy because you just found yourself. The love of the DIVINE is the most amazing thing that exists. I see myself out side of myself and love myself so much but in the end I love everything: good, bad, and indifferent.
It reminds me of a verse from my book:
Jeremiah 29:11New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Before I knew I was graduating from this world and becoming GOD, I had many obstacles in front of me; but mostly feeling inadequate and not good enough. However, I had already placed a path for myself to help me through the end of the journey. Me; now, as I write this is my almost end to a journey that I have gone through and still going through.
I AM (as in me and GOD) knows when to make the journey easy and free of hurt and disappointment.
That’s exactly what happened to me today!
It just keeps getting better. The love from my brothers and sisters breaks my heart because some still have much more to do until they are where I’m at.
I see the love in their eyes. I know they know that everything is going to be okay.
We are all working together to go back home.
To go back to the source; and this is one process that is an individual realization.
There are clues and signs everywhere! Your just not seeing them!
Diary of God 10/29/16
As the flesh marries the divine soul; they become one. One in their own being as God and as I write this it may make sense to those who haven’t experienced this. They think they are hearing voices and going crazy. Beware of your cup of good and the cup of bad. As the weight lies heavy on one end; then it is that direction plus everything that goes along with it comes into your world.
Must I tell you what no one wants to hear; that the pit of hell is now and it will spit you out as you become refined like a perfect cut diamond.
Diary of God 10/30/16
The more I become fully awake in this flesh body; I begin to live in a spiritual world more than the physical world. The imagination is where I am.
How fucking creative am I!
I am the creator! Duh!
I placed myself in this body to only one day awake myself and marvel in everything. But mostly I soak my mind with PURE LOVE.
Diary of God 11/1/16
There is a marriage within me that binds me to everything. When I am on the wrong track; it pulls me back in and guides me through the labyrinth of life here in the flesh.
Passing through multiple states, I see everything clearly. I find people in need of assistance and I hear their cries for help. In my mind’s eye, I answer their request.
I make no contact but hide in the shadows looking for the next project. There are more and more of us waking up as God and the ones that know do the same. We can be anywhere and everywhere; and yet one can do it all with the power of the divine.
This earth is a big classroom and some have already passed all their tests. As we are animals at first, we end as spiritual beings. It is hell, I tell you. The purpose is to bring everyone to the light. There is no escaping the obstacles. We simply have to face every single one of them.
Why did I do this? Because first we are children and need to learn right from wrong; and how do you know right if you don’t know wrong? Good and bad work hand and hand.
On a side note:
It’s so hard for me to see others as they sleep the dream of life. It breaks my heart. The doubter will always be present but will be brought back to the light and replaced with the next doubter till they are brought to the light.
I have no attachment to the rules of the flesh world. My imagination dictates everything for me because it is I who is the imagination; the creator. Before anything was, it was first imagined.
The gift is already given to all; however, it’s a radical change of mind and attitude that is the test.
How could you believe something that you can see or phantom; it’s like magic.
Something that you can’t explain always discourages the masses. They go right back to what they are used to. This is why everything must be left alone; in due time one by one will be called.
Another side note:
I do everything! God does everything!
Let me explain it in simple terms. Everyone collectively is one God.
The human imagination is God.
If you imagine something; it will come to pass unless you go back and rework it in your mind.
And sometimes and maybe lots of times people imagine unpleasant things and they wonder why it happens. Because you brought it in your world; because remember we are all Gods.
Try to tell this to the Catholic Church! They might beat you with a candle stick!
Jack is stupid, Jack is PROUDFUL, and Jack fell over the tower of silence. It’s best that one is controlled and always respects the divine and it is not you the flesh that is the powerful. It’s the SOURCE that is all and mighty. PURE LOVE is the source. God is love and love is God. I am God and so are you.
Diary of God 11/2/16
The body of God has been broken to pieces. He plays all the parts. Until all redeemed then we go back to the source; but God is ever expanding himself.
There are mysteries that can’t be told till a later date. Yet they wouldn’t remain mysteries if they were known.
Though if you seek to question within yourself, then you will wake the God in you. All things that exist in the physical world begin to fall apart in your mind and the birth of the spiritual being is born. The God in you is born. But you must believe and have faith. Tremendous leaps of faith!
It’s not for the light hearted in something you can’t see but see it to be there even if you can’t physically touch it or understand it completely at once. It’s a gradual process because one would go MAD.
And many have already and come back to finish the journey in which they did not finish.
Does evil exist? As we are all Gods, which are the human imaginations; we have created the evil from our minds. Yes, God does everything; but it is the free will of men who know that they are not God but have the imagination and use it unlovingly.
The creation of beasts, ghouls, cults, sciences, and myths become alive; because when the power is used in an evil way, it births man’s own enemy: men are their biggest enemy for sure.
Though the creations of evil offspring are created, they too can be saved. For example: you can teach a dog to be vicious or friendly. The dog knows nothing but what the master teaches it.
As God does everything; all men who are Gods bring all they phantom in their minds eye to life, which is their imagination that is God.
TO KILL THE DIARY OF GOD: The aftermath of realizing WTF
UGH! What was I thinking? Exactly! I was thinking!
This is what happens when you over extend your mind and let influences like MYSTICISM control you. Yes, it sounds nice and beautiful; but wasn't the DEVIL a beauty to look at too?
I do believe in the Devil because wouldn't he be the one who would want us to believe that he doesn't exist? He plays both sides of the field here. He plays the GOOD ANGEL and BAD ANGEL in our head. Damn he's good!
Imagination tells the Devil your plans so he can create a miracle so you can stay a believer in the book that was written by a man.
I want to realize things outside of the mind where maybe the real truth exists. Maybe in the Pineal gland.
All of these mind games seem so sinister to entrap anyone who could enjoy their own individual existence with pure good intentions and all knowing intuition that can't be tampered with.
Because each of us are different; wouldn't you assume beyond the mind that we all have our own personal all knowing gift just waiting for us to sign off and inherit.
So for now, I deny the MIND and let the love flow of the all knowing for each!