ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Best Sentence To Use When Dealing With Verbal Confrontation

Updated on August 16, 2012
Source

Someone I know confronted me yesterday with false accusations. While I knew I did not want to get caught up in a potential fight with them over something I knew I should not be 'charged' with, I still became defensive and verbally argumentative with this person. I felt in my heart I was wrongly accused, and that I had a right to state how I felt. But when I prayed to the Lord about it this morning, I sought Him about it. I knew that surely there was a way to disagree with someone peaceably, leaving no room for the possibility of a fight.

In some situations we are in, walking away and saying nothing does not always work. In some cases, it can acutally make the other person view you as uncaring, unconcerned, and lacking communication. So while praying to God about those times when a response is needed, and asking Him how I can take a stance on how I feel about how I'm treated in a respectful and honest way, He spoke to me immediately with one sentence, and one action.

He showed me that saying, 'I'm sorry you feel that way, but I disagree', (followed by walking away) is the best solution when someone says something that warrants response, but you want to avoid an arguement when confronted with a false accusation, or any type of confrontational attitude.

This was completely refreshing to me. It gave me a 'way out', yet a voice at the same time.

This 'method' is completely brilliant. Some have probably already learned this, and if I recall, I may have as well. Today God may have just reminded me, and that's just fine by me.

As the bible calls us as christians to live peaceably with all men as much as is possible (Romans 12:18), we must find ways to handle verbally confrontational people in the most godly way(s). You may work with them, live with them, or be related to them. In any case, we are called to avoid disagreements with people that may escalate into full-blown verbal fights. This is a particularly difficult trial for me as the people I have in my life whom are this way have the incredible ability to suck me into these fights.

For God to show me this - again - He has given me freedom from their 'hold' on me in this area of my life, and freedom from my lack of self-control at times when faced by them.

This is a fool-proof solution in my opinion. Here's why:

1. Beginning with an apology acknowledges their feelings rather than just stating yours. That generally softens a persons heart in the midst of disagreements.

2. The term 'I disagree' gives you a straight-arrow answer for how you feel, leaving out any excuses which in this case are unnecessary to even address.

3. There is nothing accusatory about this sentence in any way, shape or form, to cause another to increase in their defenses against you.

4. This statement, when spoken in love, is respectful and honoring to the Lord. Ephesians 4:15.

5. It leaves absolutely no room for argument. I thought 'well knowing the people I tend to fall into fights with, they would probably say I'm not sorry, but who cares. I'll be walking away by that time.'

This response must be coupled with walking away. If you choose to stay, you choose to fight. If you walk away, even if they are saying things to you as you do, they will be slamming their heads into a brick wall. Eventually, they will realize - after your consistant use of this phrase (and not overuse) - that their approach is obviously not working, and that they have nothing to use against you. They may even stop alltogether.

So, good luck with your 'confrontations', and I hope you find that you gain positive, freeing results from using this approach. God bless.

How Do You Handle Verbally Confrontational People?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Amberjewell profile imageAUTHOR

      Amberjewell 

      5 years ago

      Thank you :)

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 

      5 years ago from North Carolina

      Great advice. There is nothing worse than arguing with someone who is just wrong and illogical. You are off to a great start here on Hubpages.

    • Amberjewell profile imageAUTHOR

      Amberjewell 

      5 years ago

      That's excellent! You could give me a few pointers as well! Would love to hear any input you have!

    • J. Frank Dunkin profile image

      Joseph Franklin Dunkin Jr 

      5 years ago from Foley, Alabama

      Good post, my friend. And an honest one, to boot. I was in business negotiations for most of my life and early on, 90 percent of the time, these negotiations were not resolved in a friendly manner. As my negotiating skills grew, this percentange began to grow smaller and smaller, and I am happy to say that in my latter years, most negotiations resulted in a "win-win" situation. Great article. Thanks for sharing it with us...

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)