ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Emotions of a Man

Updated on June 26, 2015

Sad Boy

Source

Only Natural

From the time we are young, boys are told that "crying is for girls", and that we need to "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and get over it". However, what we (and most parents for that matter) don't realize is that we are setting our boys up for emotional issues later on. We are teaching them to deny their innermost and completely normal emotions.

It is nothing for a boy to be seen crying after scraping a knee on the playground only to have others stare, laugh, tease, and taunt them with "Oh look at that sissy! He's crying!" Right then, somewhere deep inside the young boy, something snaps and he decides that was the last time anyone sees him cry. We are reinforced by seeing nothing but anger, discipline, and toughness from our fathers and other men in our life. We are told that we must like manly things such as football, wrestling, working on cars, and being outdoors. Classical music, golf, tennis, operas, theatre, cooking, and dance are seen as "weenie" things to be interested in. If we like those things, there must be something wrong. This only helps to fuel the suppression of our natural emotions even further down inside. Only after growing into a man does the young boy realize the emotions he stored for such a long time fuel a fire that is consuming him from the inside.

The Consuming Fire

Source

The Consuming Fire

What is happening on the inside is a fire that has been raging for so long that all that comes out is anger. Frustration and discipline come out as anger, even hurt, pain, crying, and sadness do too. The man distances himself from anyone and everyone, afraid that everyone is out to humiliate him. Therefore, he only shows anger and keeps himself distanced from anyone remotely close. He hides away in work, alcohol, food, pornography, sex, excessive manliness, and anything he can in order to keep people from getting too close. When they do get too close, he immediately pushes them right back out the way they came in. Even with his guy friends it is a competition to see who's the manliest.

What the man doesn't realize is that he is being consumed by a fire. This fire rages on and as long as he suppresses it, he will continue to wallow in depression, self-loathing, self-hatred and possibly even entertain thoughts of suicide too. He sinks further down into whatever addictions are eating at him thinking this is what he needs in order to be happy. What he doesn't realize is the thing he needs is the thing he hides away from the most. Love.


The Love We Need

Source

The Love We Long For

Yes, it sounds corny and laughable at first, but love is the key to all the problems of a man who is suppressing his emotions. Not just any love, but the love of a Savior who gave everything - even his life - in order for you to live in love, forgiveness and happiness. Even then, to grasp ahold of the concept of this love is very difficult. It is unfamiliar and very unsettling. Only after being truly confronted with the Risen Christ, accepting Him as Lord and Savior, and truly turning to Him for the answers we seek to resolve a broke life, does He truly answer those calls.

When Christ does answer in the due time we need in order to process it all, we are flooded with emotions that have been locked away deep inside for years - perhaps even decades. When we find the love we long for, crying seems to be the only thing we can do for a period of time. It is a period of time we need in order to readjust to the idea of crying again. Showing emotion to those around us is uncomfortable, but in time, becomes comfortable again. Joy, love, and peace once again find the man as he ousts the old crusty ways of his former self. But what's more is the love we long for could have been found near to us the whole time.

Christ is always ready and available to accept us - if only we would turn to Him. He would show us the immense love He has - such as can be found in John 3:16-17, 16 “For God loved the world in this way:He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.". Not only this, but we find that in Deuteronomy 31:8, "8 The Lord is the One who will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or discouraged.” We find that not only does He promise this for our future, but has been there pursuing us all along. 1 John 4:17-19 says, "17 In this, love is perfected with us so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, for we are as He is in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. 19 We love because He first loved us." Did you also notice what this verse also says? Not only was God pursuing us, but perfect love will drive out fear - which by the way is what motivates men to abandon their innermost emotions.

The Emotions of a Man

Only a man truly in touch with the full range of emotions within a man, can be the Godly man Christ models for us. Even Christ wept; He wept as He came into the city of Jerusalem in Luke 19:41-42, "41 As He approached and saw the city, He wept over it, 42 saying, “If you knew this day what would bring peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes." and again in John 11:35, in regards to Lazarus, "Jesus wept." By far the shortest verse in the Bible, we see that Christ identifies with us in our human emotions as well as being the fullness of God too. Jesus knew the suffering of physical pain. He knew what it was like to be tired, hungry, cold and hot.

Jesus wept for Lazarus in John 11 because humans were never meant to die. We were meant to live in paradise with God forever, but that all changed when Adam sinned in Genesis 3. Sin came into the world and as a result, death did too. We were never meant to know the suffering, pain, and anguish we feel. As men, we were never meant to feel the despair of suppressed emotions. We were never meant to feel ridicule, shame and guilt. Freedom can only come from one source, Jesus Christ and only through Him can we be free. Romans 8:1-2 says it best, "Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus, 2 because the Spirit’s law of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death." Freedom. Yes, my friend, you are free if you are willing to accept it. You can be freed of the prison of anger, resentment, and fear. You are free to feel the emotions God has blessed us with. Only by living in relationship with Christ, can freedom truly ring.

If you know anyone who is suffering like this, please, encourage them with love. Be patient with them, knowing that what they truly need is love. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for the love and patience of my wife and family, helping me through the emotional turmoil of uncovering my long lost emotions. Don't let a man you love sink in the bottomless pit of living with suppressed emotions. It can and will save his life in more ways than one.


**For more application on anger, see the video below of a sermon I did a few years ago.

Turning Anger into Application

Others Among Us

How many men do you know that suffer from emotionless living?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • serenityjmiller profile image

      Serenity Miller 

      3 years ago from Brookings, SD

      Beautiful, thoughtful, all too apt. "We are teaching them to deny their innermost and completely normal emotions." As we say up here in the Upper Midwest... uffda! What a twisted human psychology we perpetuate in this fallen world, and how beautifully you've presented the answer of Christ's saving love. Thank you.

    • ginjill ashberry profile image

      Ashley TKL 

      3 years ago

      Hello Ryan,

      Thank you for sharing this hub. I am sure that it benefits many readers especially those who still live in miserable comfort zone of their choices. Psychologically true for many men and true for every Christian.

      Sincerely,

      GJAB.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)