ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Religion and Philosophy»
  • New Religions & Cults

The Invisible Pink Unicorn, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and the Celestial Teapot

Updated on April 15, 2017
Source

Down with the Easter Bunny!

I have always been confused by militant atheists. I am not confused by atheists. I am confused by militant atheists. For me it is as though I decided to spend my days railing against Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, honest politicians and any other thing that I am certain doesn’t exist.

However, I am not confused as to why militant atheists seem to spend all their time attacking Christians and no time attacking the head choppers of ISIS. Like good bullies, they only attack the kid who won’t fight back. If they attacked the true dangers to civilization—those who kidnap and rape women who don’t practice the “right” religion, for instance--some head chopper might come after them. Militant atheists can beat up Christians night and day, day and night and the most Christians will do is whine really loud. Christians, for the most part, won’t even riot or have a mass protest. I say for the most part because for awhile there were a group of truly annoying crap-for-brains posers who were interrupting funerals for veterans to give their views on homosexuality. Most Christians that I have ever heard about disavow these protesting nimrods as sick losers.

God is Busy Right Now

I prefer atheists who have a sense of humor about the God thing. After all, not even the most militant theist on the planet can perform any physical act that would be in anyway convincing to any atheist—so why be bent out of shape about it. No matter what any religious person says the Himalayas and the Gobi desert are not going to permanently swap places, the oceans are not about to vanish and all the glaciers on the planet are not going to suddenly show up in Saudi Arabia. Religious folks say that God could do all this and more if He wanted but conveniently God never “wants” do these things. Even things that most normal and sane people agree on like curing all diseases and protecting all children from crime and hunger seem to be either beyond God or beneath His notice. So why should any atheist take the notion of God seriously?


In the bad old days when the inquisition was used to shore up flagging faith, there were standard answers to deep theological conundrums. Can God create a stone which He cannot lift? Where was God before the world was made? The answers to these and many more annoying questions went along the lines of : God was creating hell for people who asked questions like that.

Source

Divine Pasta

A number of atheists have come up with humorous spoofs of religion. For instance there are the pastafarians who wear spaghetti strainers on their heads. Religions do go on about who gets to wear the funny hats and when and why. The Pastafarians are believers in the Flying Spaghetti monster. As any Pastafarian is quick to point out: Can you prove the Flying Spaghetti does not exist?

The believers in the Invisible Pink Unicorn are probably trying to be a little too cute. After all, if the Unicorn is invisible, how do you know it’s pink?

The Celestial Teapot is kicking it old school. Bertrand Russell came up with it to make the basic atheistic point about falsifiable claims.

One has to be careful with taking things Bertrand Russell said as gospel. After all he supposedly said it was a duty of the state to come up with efficient ways to kill off millions of useless people. Some say this was a clever joke on Bertrand Russell's part since as we all know, genocide is a very, very funny joke.


Global Warming Climate Change

One has to be little careful about the notion of falsifiable claims however. Note that Global Warming worshippers say that hot weather is proof of Global Warming. And if the weather turns cold they quickly alter the name of their religion to: Climate Change and say that changes in the weather prove that the only way to worship nature properly is to destroy capitalism in general and the United States in particular. Moreover, Global Warming Climate Changers say that all that pollution in China is just a political illusion and only the imperialist, capitalist swine pollute and commit other evils because only they can. Note that the Global Warmers keep changing terms of the argument to make sure their argument is never falsifiable. Making their claims look more like a religion than science.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 3 years ago

      Hello Lela (Austinstar). The Flying Spaghetti monster holds the distinction of being one of the few Gods you can eat!

      Have a blessed day!

    • Austinstar profile image

      Lela 3 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      My Irish father taught me to believe in invisible leprechauns.

      My Choctaw mother and grandmother taught me that we must live in harmony with Father Sky and Mother Earth.

      My science career taught me that none of the above are anything more that legends and stories. I kind of like the flying spaghetti monster the best of all!

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 3 years ago

      Hello Paula (oceansunsets). I enjoyed your thought provoking observations. I think that the people who make me the most nervous are those who style themselves as morally superior to others. Sooner or later the morally superior seem to find ways to put others in chains or worse. After all, anyone who can't recognize moral superiority must be defective!

      Have a blessed day!

      '

    • oceansnsunsets profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from The Midwest, USA

      Well done, Poetryman. You make great observations that need explanation, and we are left with only the obvious ones I think. I had to chuckle at your first couple of paragraphs, because this is exactly what we experience in the forums on HP and in other places on the net, and now even in debates, etc. People want to hold a set of rules to certain groups only, and not to themselves. Voted up across the board and shared, and pinned.

      One of the biggest things I see on the forums from atheists is never taking a real stance, but relentlessly attacking other's stances. This is not playing fair. If they say they are an atheist, then its to the point I can't assume they have their usual atheist views. When faults are pointed out, they backtrack, and often lean on views held by believers in God, no less! I think its because some things are more well represented by other views than their own, when we are all observing science and the reality around us.

      The end, when talking about falsifiable claims and B. Russell, etc, well that is a little alarming. Anyway, I am glad you brought all of this illogic thinking to light in a somewhat humorous way. My hope is to not poke fun, but to see people see the good and bad parts of various views, and to at least own their own views, or perhaps get a better one when their own fails them.

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 3 years ago

      Mona (aka grand old lady) thanks for dropping by. I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Have a blessed day!

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      I always wondered about that flying spaghetti monster. You have a very humorous way of making your point. Reading this was most enjoyable and I fully agree with you.

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 3 years ago

      Peggy I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Be sure to have a blessed day!

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 3 years ago from Houston, Texas

      I loved this. You made your points well with the combination use of exaggeration and humor. Clever piece!

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 3 years ago

      Thanks for dropping by Devika. I definitely agree with your sentiments. We have the right to our own beliefs but we do not have the right to determine the beliefs of others.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Individuals have different beliefs and I do respect that but not when people force one another into a religion . Interesting and thought provoking.

    • Rachel L Alba profile image

      Rachel L Alba 3 years ago from Every Day Cooking and Baking

      Amen to that!!

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 3 years ago

      Rachel, I definitely agree with you. One of the things that gets promoted in our society is the idea that a person's personal, private behavior and beliefs deserve to acknowledged and celebrated by everyone else. I for one say this is not so especially since some people believe in FGM, honor killing, strapping bombs to children, and enslaving people who disagree with them in matters of religion or politics.

    • Rachel L Alba profile image

      Rachel L Alba 3 years ago from Every Day Cooking and Baking

      All I can say is if atheists don't believe in God, then why do they worry so much about Easter and Christmas? If they are so certain that there is no God, then what harm does it do for Christians to celebrate Easter and Christmas? All they have to do is ignore the holiday and not precipitate in it in any way. Isn't freedom of religion one of the reasons people came to American in the first place? I'm not one to get on a band wagon, but I just always wanted to ask those questions.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)