The Injustice in Judging
One of the most life-changing processes I have ever gone through was at a personal development seminar called “Omega Vector” that is based in Phoenix, Arizona. The founder of Omega is an amazing man named George Addair, who used to be a Baptist minister in the years before he came up with the purpose of Omega in 1978. These seminars so transformed my life that I chose to be a volunteer staff person there so that I could help encourage others to transform their own lives.
During one of my seminars before I was on the staff, George had a banner that said, “Do not judge.” In the process of learning all my important self-revelations, I grew to understand that when we judge others, it has absolutely nothing to do with who is being judged. It has to do with who we are. Think carefully about this for a moment. If we are judging others based on their actions or words, we are only reflecting a subconscious truth about who we are in doing that. We can only see that person from our own perspective. We can’t hear their thoughts. We can’t totally understand their heart. We can’t know their deepest intention. The only thing we really can do is feel our feelings about what we see someone else doing or saying. Who are we to put ourselves above them when they are no less human than who we perceive ourselves to be? Who are we to think that we have the right to judge, condemn and criticize when we have done things that we wouldn’t want to be judged for?
There is a saying that goes like this: “When you point a finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at yourself.” Is that not true? Have you ever tried to literally point a finger at someone else and keep all your fingers outward so they weren’t pointing back at you? Trust me, I tried that it doesn’t work!
If we focus on our own self-development, we would have no time at all to spend judging others. We would have no time to wish someone else would fit into the mold we have designed for them in our heads. We would become aware enough to realize that nobody is even meant to fit into a mold that anyone else has created for them! We would also learn that we are not supposed to “should” on anyone! It isn’t our place to say “they should do this” or they should do that”, just because we think they “should.” What is right for us and works for us as individuals may be totally detrimental or out of place for someone else to do.
We have the right to have our own feelings about things, I understand this. We also have the right to agree or disagree with someone else. That makes sense. What is not beneficial for anyone is the condemnation or criticism of the ways of others, since we haven’t been in their shoes. We haven’t learned their concept of the world, based on their upbringing. They haven’t been in our shoes either. They don’t know what we have experienced in our upbringing. Even our own siblings don’t know every single event that has taken place in our lives even though they are part of our core family.
When we refuse to accept that some people change, we are denying those people the freedom to be who they are in this moment. We are putting the conditions in the past on them and we are stifling our own serenity and freedom by continually refusing to see them in today’s light. By doing this, we are getting the same result we would get if we don’t let go and forgive others: it’s as if we are drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
My hope in writing this is that we can all remember that if we stop looking at others and look at ourselves, we can make the world a much more peaceful place. The most important revelation is that we are all just reflections of each other. Anything we see in others is something we must be willing to see about ourselves. When we stop judging, we are then totally accepting of ourselves and therefore, have no need or reason to judge.