ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Perfect Marriage - A Biblical Perspective

Updated on August 21, 2019

The first question that needs to be asked and answered is; "Is there such a thing as a perfect marriage?" The answer is probably no. Even if has been planned by God, we as humans tend to mess things up. The problem with finding a perfect marriage lies in human inability to fulfil God's plan.

Planned in the mind of God and produced in a less than perfect way by humans, it is good to look at exactly what the conditions for a perfect marriage are, so that it can be something that we can strive for. With this in mind let us look at what God intended in his wisdom and revelation.

We need to start at the very beginning with the account of creation. As God completed his work he saw that "it was good". (Genesis 1:31) The second account of creation in chapter 2 records God looking at the man and setting him with the task of taking care of the Garden Of Eden. But then God states, as recorded in Genesis 2:18 "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Enter woman to help the man in need. In the same chapter the writer of Genesis states the very basic requirements for marriage: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24, NIV translation). It is interesting that Matthew records Jesus as quoting this passage in dealing with questions about divorce. In Matthew 19:4-6 Jesus then adds; "So they are no longer two, but one".

Here is the mystery and challenge of marriage. Two becoming one, a miracle of a new unit, with each partner bringing themselves to it to create a marriage relationship with new possibilities and responsibilities. In Ephesians 5:21, Paul states one of the basic rules of the Christian life; "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ". A principle that Jesus graphically and powerfully illustrated when he took up the servants towel and washed the feet of his disciples. This principle must then also be applied in the marriage relationship.

God challenges the individuals to surrender themselves to a new situation, providing the promise of starting a new life with its beautiful possibilities that cannot be achieved on its own. In his first letter, Peter states some of the principles of marriage that are important. He mentions that a woman should be subject to her own husband - an unpopular view in modern western society. In any working relationship there has to be a head and God gave this responsibility to man. Man, however, often messes it up by mistaking it as a position of power rather than a leadership role. In 1 Peter 3:7, the writer requires that men treat their wives considerately. Again something that is essential in a working relationship and often abused by men, hence Peter's warning.

Back in the Genesis account we see the first problem that arrives to spoil God's perfect plan for marriage. A perfect marriage requires perfect behaviour by both partners, an impossible dream in an imperfect world. Modern Human Science has described the problem of "Attribution Bias" as being where we, as humans, tend to protect our fragile egos by ascribing relationship problems to factors we do not have control over (a very basic personal definition). So Adam and Eve, as they mess up, play the blame game, something we as humans are experts at.

When a couple are courting they send out the image of the perfect representative of the person the other person would like, and then after time the "real person" emerges.

In a marriage, as the bright and shining (often blinding) light of infatuation begins to grow dim, we begin to realise that the person we married is not as perfect as we had thought they were - the so called "after the honeymoon is over" syndrome. Now a better love needs to replace the highly emotional first love that brings two people together based on emotional and physical needs which blind clear thinking and sight. Now real, lasting and often self-sacrificing love (agape love) has to take centre stage. It is perhaps best described by the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Here Paul defines love as patient and kind. Then in a negative sense he continues to explain that it is not being proud, or rude, or self-seeking, or easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Love rejoices in truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. This love never fails.

This type of love is vital as we begin to realise, and more importantly accept, that our partner and even ourselves are not perfect. As we face the daily pressure of everyday life we experience a very big dose of reality. Something that will test every relationship. Work pressure, children, money, time constraints, social and family pressure are but a few of the factors that test relationships. Unrealistic expectations are, however, perhaps the biggest threat. Remembering or perhaps realizing that you married an imperfect human and that you are also imperfect helps acceptance to develop. This is perhaps the real secret to a happy marriage. It does not negate taking every effort to work at the relationship but helps to see a clearer picture.

And so when difficulties and challenges do arrive, as they certainly will, it is important to take a deep breath and remember why you were at one time madly in love with that person. Often in the daily stress and difficult challenges of life the grass on the other side of the fence seem to be more appealing than the slog of daily commitment and hard work. Here the long term growth of a relationship based on the principles outlined by Paul in his definition of love leads to a deeper and more meaningful marriage.

So where then do we look to find the perfect marriage? We start with ourselves by putting the fruit of the Holy Spirit into our lives, making it easy for us to love and then be loved in return. The fruits of the Spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22,23 are "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control".

So your marriage may not be as perfect as you would like it to be, but after all it is still a work in progress. With God's help and a lot of prayer you can start to make it better. You may surprise your partner and even yourself!

Bible Translation:

Scriptures taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, Copyright 1973,1978,1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

The "NIV" and "New International Version" trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)