The Ten Commandments 2: The Sequel

I AM THE LORD THY GOD WHO THY SHALL CALLETH MASTER I AM A JEALOUS GOD AND IF I SEE EVEN ONE OF YOU LITTLE PUNKS TRY AND CROSS ME i WILL BRINGITH DOWN THE THUNDER! THESE LAWS I SHALL RATTLE OFF THE TOP OF MINE DIVINE HEAD AND THOU SHALL OBEY THEM OR YE WILL SURELY DIE!

1. THOU SHALT NOT EAT PICKLES. ANY MAN WHO INGESTS THESE BRINEY ABOMINATIONS WILL BE MET WITH THE SWORD AND RENT ASUNDER BY GIANT MAGIC THUNDER!!!

2.THOU SHALL HONOR DUCKS. DUCKS ARE YOU'RE NEW MASTERS AND YOU MUST OBEY THEM. TO REFUSE A DUCK A PIECE OF STALE BREAD IS TO BRING A PLAGUE UPON THINE HOUSE.

3.THOU SHALT NOT SING BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 2 AND 3. BOTH AM AND AND PM. YE MAY SING TO THOU'S HEART'S CONTENT AT ALL OTHER HOURS.

4.THOUS SHALT NOT KILL

5.THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

6.THOU SHALT NOT HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE WHO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH. HAHAHA!!! YOU CAN ONLY HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE YOU FIND HIDEOUSLY UNATTRACTIVE!! THIS AMUSES THY GOD.

7.THY SHALL AMUSE THY GOD AT ALL COST. IF YE BE BORING THY GOD SHALL LOSE INTEREST IN THY PETTY MORTAL BULLSHIT.

8.THOU SHALT NOT EAT TIGER PENISES. THINE GOD FINDS THIS UNAPPEALING

9.THOU SHALT NOT WORSHIP ANY OTHER GOD BUT ME. I AM THE BEST AND THE PRETTIEST AND THE MOST AWESOME AT BOARDGAMES AND ACTIVITIES!!

10.THOU SHALT USE THINE TURN SIGNAL.

THESE WORDS I BESTOW UNTO YOU!! GO AND BRING MY GLORY TO MINE SERVANTS!!