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Joining the Facebook Billionaires Club

Updated on March 12, 2015
By DonkeyHotey
By DonkeyHotey | Source

Inception on Amazon

Dreams are only Dreams

On some super cold evening in 2013 a little after New Years time. You had joined Facebook for the very first time, you receive a very important message in your FB inbox. This message was prompted by one of them cool status update's, stating that "You're the 1 Billionth member to have joined Facebook", and a big fat word of Congratulations! followed it, as you think to yourself "holy crap! is it even possible".

Of course you're dreaming and floating on "Cloud 10" right now, but that's besides the point, its such an intense dream state you're in, with your eyes rolling backwards into deep rem sleep, and you have no idea its not a true reality that has appeared to have just occurred on your Facebook account. Totally blinding you from that fact that you've had one all along "oh dreams do that to us sometimes, don't they."

Now carrying onwards into this FB dream mode of a fantasy, your eyes immediately pop out of your head onto the floor. You then pick them up thinking you're in a beetle juice movie or something, because beneath such a status report it says your the lucky member who just received a 1 billion dollars FB sweep stakes, that nobody ever knew about.

You instantly pass out crashing your forehead onto the floor, and your head roles off, you then are submerged into a brief comma state for a minute or so, when you awake like Leonardo DiCaprio did several times in the Inception movie, in and out of one outrageous dream after the next. You're blown away by all of this FB dreaming action, thinking to yourself that this must be the real deal, and that you just became a Billionaire, Wow!

By Jalen Bolling
By Jalen Bolling | Source
By Peter Fuchs
By Peter Fuchs | Source

Moments Later

The fact of the matter is, even though you may have thought you've woken up, no way Jose Canseco, you actually still sound asleep in your 1 bedroom apartment sweating up a storm, and still don't realize your dreaming. Now, your deep sleeping dream takes you to yet another imaginative zone once again.

You awake out of your second sleep into a padded room with Facebook icons, and images of Nicki Minaj, and you quickly turn your head to the right to visualize a naked picture of Lady Gaga, "Yikes that was a rough one", you think to yourself, and then as your eyes begin to auto scroll back towards the left, you see more Facebook paraphernalia, with some cool Twitter tweedy bird stickers. There's also some really huge true to life size Angry Bird's, and they're all fighting one another in a pink outlined platinum diamond studded cage (I'm not sure if its Nicki Minaj's or Lady Gaga's pets), they're yelling annoyingly loud, and luckily for your poor ears they stop after a minute or so.

When, suddenly a huge wide screen virtual holodeck (Doesn't exist yet) like monitor screen slides into view right in front of your face, and you get stunned a bit, but you cannot move your hands, fingers, toes, legs, of torso. Just your head, lips and eyes can move for some odd reason. "Am I paralyzed", you think to yourself, "Is this for real", but again you believe it to be true reality, and especially after what happens next.

By Robert Scoble
By Robert Scoble | Source

Hail to the King!

Suddenly from nowhere, King Zuckerberg appears aka Mr. Mark himself, and your super trilled to see him, and so anxious to speak with him, and hear him speak. This anxiety has caused a pool of sweat to rush down your temple, and it won't stop poring.

"Welcome to the Facebook Billionaires Club, a place where where only the richest geeks get to have their way with things, plan weddings anywhere we choose, and purchase vast amounts of real life stock, that gets sold to the silliest of bidders." King Zuck! Spiels out from his hologram of a digital face as shown in the initial images of this article (Scroll back up to the top of the web page if you missed it, LOL).

You are speechless, and simply stare at his image, with that huge glowing crown of Illumination he has on, with a really fat FB symbol engraved in the center of it. The next thing you know, you get sucked into your holding chair, and like in The Matrix movie, you get turned into some weird looking virtual slime, and sucked into fiber optic wires from Verizon Fios. The funny thing though about it all, is that you can visualize them singular laser beams flying back, and fourth at mock speed right beside you, and you can sense it all as if its somehow adjoined to your strong yet out of control beating pulse, and heart rate.


Condo Sky Scraping Apartment - Feeling like NEO

This entire dream experience is far out indeed, and way to much to take in but its not over yet, not by far. Jumping back in and head first, you're entirely grey and ultra gooey substance of an existence gets reconfigured, one molecule at a time, into this new person, with a cyber kinetic style of blue glow for a body now, and hot yellow hair, like Nicki Minaj has from time to time.

This seems so fun to you and you giggling now and cannot stop, plus your so anxious to find out what's going to happen next. A door swings open, and you can actually sense everything around you now, as if your connected to everything as a single entity. "Is this what being a FB Billionaire is like", you think to yourself, "and if so can I just think of something to make it appear".

Your feeling that NEO effect right about now, it feels quite magical indeed, and so you start thinking about being outdoors, and flying in the air like you've done many times in your dreams as a child. Suddenly your body begins to tremble like a rocket ship that's shaking off of its rocker. You lift high up off the floor in that intensely cool new roof top skyscraper apartment your in, and blast through the window without touching the glass, not one spec of glass shatters at all.

Then for a fraction of a millisecond of time, your flight status is maintained, until you hear the ringing of bells faintly at first, and then it begins to get increasingly much louder. Its not no ordinary bell sounds though, these bells sound like huge Congo Bongo gongs, and they're so annoying, the sound waves knocks you out of the air, and you free fall, like an anvil to strike the floor super hard.

By agoode
By agoode | Source

The Rude Awakening

Hitting the floor head first, you awaken in your real home, and your head didn't fall off this time. You feel a huge lump on your forehead this time, and begin to realize that this is your actual one bedroom apartment again. You look up, slowly stand after shaking your head twice, and look towards your Windows XP computer desktop.

You've been logged into Facebook all night long, and after that really crazy dream of a fantasy, more like a nightmare how it ended, you're slightly afraid to approach the PC. You take your time getting to the monitor screen dragging your feet, and notice there's a new status blinking on your message inbox. You then think to yourself, "Was that really a dream, and why is Facebook giving me a inbox status." Hmmm......

The mind can dream up the darndest of things, Don't ya think!

By agoode
By agoode | Source


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    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      5 years ago from New York City

      Thanks again, you are cool too, I will do my best to follow you for sure.

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 

      5 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      I love your creativity!

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      5 years ago from New York City

      @lorlie6, Thank you so much for stopping by, for reading my hub and for sharing. I do think I may have seen you a long time ago as well. Maybe in the Q&A area or forums, I forget, but its good to have met you here on this hub of mine. I'll add you as a follower for sure now as well.

      LOL yeah, this hub was so fun to write up I laughed myself much of the way while writing and thinking it all up.

      My inspiration for writing it was from me truly over doing things back then on FB networking like an unorganized mess, and thought why not come up with a weird kind of funny dream article about it all, plus FB was lingering around the 1 billion members mark back then, and these words just kept rolling onto the screen here.

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      5 years ago from New York City

      @jengracehodges, thanks for the lovely comment, yeah I let my imagination run wild LOL.

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 

      5 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Hey there, Mike! I've seen you in the forums here and finally on Facebook over the last few years and am ashamed I've never followed you. I am now.

      This Hub is absolutely hysterical and I needed it to wake myself up from my dreams last night-though yours was much more entertaining!

      Take care and keep it up,


    • jengracehodges profile image

      Jen Hodges 

      6 years ago from Southeastern United States

      Wow...that's some pretty scary stuff right there. :)

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      @ubanichijioke, thanks bro I definitely had a wonderful time trying to put this one together.

      I figured folks would like it and all, but we will surely see over time if it entertains folks more and more for sure, god willing right!

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      @Ruchira, thanks I didn't know you commented here a while back, sorry for missing it, but anyhow thanks for the cool comment, I had so much fun with this hub, and I cannot wait to write another funny one again.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      6 years ago from Lagos

      Hahaha, made a wonderful read all the way down to the end. Facebook and its addiction. Great piece with lots of humor.


    • Ruchira profile image


      6 years ago from United States

      Gosh Michael, you are highly creative 'cause the topic of being a FB member took me on a great journey which was action

      Bow to your imagination with many votes as awesome!

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      Hey there Realhousewife, yup this one for the record was my first ever attempt at writing a funny hub, I hope other folks can find it amusing, and thanks for giving it a good read.

      I just got done editing it once again, and I hope all the errors in it are gone for good, its tough to detect at first, but I think I nailed them bad boys this time around.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Very funny Mike and I just made up a new term reading you hub!

      When you said - "you were s-t-u-n-n-e-d....". My braid filled in "s-t-o-n-e-d"... Hahahaha I guess I had a "Freudian Filler" rather than a "Freudian Slip" hahahaha

      But it does sound like a wild dream!

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      @dwachira, Yeah man this hub was off the in bro, I wrote it in my sleep LOL, nah I was thinking why not create a cool Facebook dream/daymare, and next thing you know presto! this hub popped out.

      Crazy stuff right, creativity is no joke when you put your mind to it all I guess, haha! Thanks man for the cool visit and the awesome comment.

    • dwachira profile image

      [ Danson Wachira ] 

      6 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Writing this comment, my head didn't fall off, we dream getting rich everyday but personally i have never dreamed about FB, thanks you shared this here because who would like his head to fall several times.

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      @Faith Reaper, I was super bored, this just happened to pop out of my thick head, LOL.

      Thanks for your awesome comment once again, you are cool indeed Faith.

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      @rcrumple, LOL thanks bro, I just tried something new here, and since dreams are only dreams, why not give it my all with to create a dream of my own using words.

      I know it would be a fascinating one for anybody to have indeed, and all the way until the very end.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      6 years ago from southern USA

      Whew, that was another epic one. It may be time to back off the FB and computer for a while and get back into the real world. Ha. Entertaining hub. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • rcrumple profile image


      6 years ago from Kentucky

      Mike -

      What a journey! You're a multi faceted individual, with as many variants as the wires flowing into your pod from Matrix land. Great Job!

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      Hey @Carol, LOL

      I'm exhausted myself from all this writing activity I been doing on hubpages, but its all good.

      I need to keep up this intense tempo, and I cannot look back neither, and I know you understand what I mean.

      More power to us super hubbers today, cheers!

      Oh and thanks for checking out this unique hub here, I wrote it at the Doctors office, when I went to get my eye checked probably from to much intense super hubbing, LOL.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 

      6 years ago from Arizona

      I am exhausted from the dream. As always you write such interesting and unusual hubs. It always wakes me up. Great hub.

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      Man oh man Bill, if it wasn't for reading so many funny hubs by TTooms08, and by Josh, I don't think I could of mustered the guts to come up with this sort of dream like article.

      I must thanks them if they ever read it, because they taught me to let loose I guess, and allow my mind to run free, and into things even I would never think of on a normal consistent basis, and Plus I was extremely bored at the doctors office like two days back when I wrote it on my cell phone. LOL

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Phew! You must be exhausted after that dream...and hub....quite the imagination my friend! You had me laughing right out of the gate and I'm still laughing. Where did this come from? Quite a change of pace and I loved it.

      Keep them coming buddy and I'll keep following and enjoying.

    • CloudExplorer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mike Pugh 

      6 years ago from New York City

      Hi @homesteadbound, I'm not sure what to say here, ummm yeah I guess, a cell phone is tough to type text on, but at the doctors office, you might do better with an Ipad or something, and I cannot afford one currently.

      So I'll stick to my smart phone, you know when I'm out and about writing up these hubs. I'm not sure what you think about the hub here, but its all good anyhow, and thanks for stopping by to comment.

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 

      6 years ago from Texas

      Oh my! Approach your computer... it's easier to type on than your cellphone, and you might be a winner!


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